


It's Just Us Now

by KyloZen



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Comfort Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Passion, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 19:41:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 66,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8858236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloZen/pseuds/KyloZen
Summary: Rey wakes up to find she has been kidnapped and stranded on a desolate planet with her sworn enemy, Kylo Ren.When they are forced to cooperate, hate and resentment turn to strange attraction as secrets unfold and differences are confronted.Soon, Rey is trapped in an all consuming passionate affair with the one who is destined to be her nemesis. Will duty or temptation gain the upper hand when they are put to the test?Be warned: there will be graphic sex scenes within the first chapters and onward throughout the story.





	1. Trapped

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All Reylo shippers out there. Thank you for letting your imagination flow!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=All+Reylo+shippers+out+there.+Thank+you+for+letting+your+imagination+flow%21).



> Dear Reylos!
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this one. It will be dealing with emotions and fluff as well as dirty naughtiness. If any of you who read my first fic are reading this, thank you for sticking with me! I have tried to refine my English writing skills and hopefully you notice a difference.  
> Please let me know how you feel about the story as it proceeds, even if it is just once and in a few words. It helps me a lot as a writer to know how you react to things.
> 
> May the Force be with You. Always.

The cold woke her up.  
It was numbing at first. Then biting.  
Rey slowly opened her eyes. She could not move. Something burned at the wrists and ankles, spreading to her throat as she tried to turn her head.  
There were thick metal straps holding her body in place on some kind of table, similar to the one she had been tied to at Starkiller Base. 

The room came into focus. A small space with the simplicity of a ship’s cabin. Broken glass lay against the wall, beside a dark-clad tall figure that appeared unconscious.  
She blinked several times. It was _him._

Where was Luke?  
Pieces of a puzzle whirled in her mind, refusing to make sense. They had been walking along a shore somewhere. A lightsaber was in her hand, but they were only practicing. Luke’s green blade parried her every attack with perfection and she made awkward attempts to repeat his moves.

There was no time to put the memories in order. Kylo Ren was lying in a heap against the wall, far too close. He did not move and a dark trickle of blood streamed down his pale brow, over an ugly scar running across his face. His right arm was bent in an unnatural angle.  
Rey drew a deep breath and focused on the force, the way Luke had taught her. The straps released their grip, one by one. As the last one let go, she fell to the floor and rolled off to hit the wall with a surprised cry. The whole room was leaning sideways. 

Cursing and plucking the shards of glass from her skin, her eyes fell on Kylo Ren’s belt. He was only at an arm’s distance from her. Her lightsaber hung beside his. She reached for it with a hammering pulse.  
A few agonizing seconds passed as she tried to figure out how he had fastened the weapons to the belt. Then both lightsabers came loose and slipped into her trembling grip. 

She held her own tightly, putting the heavier one in her lap.  
His dark eyelashes moved slightly.  
This was it. Here was the opportunity to save the galaxy from more suffering with one, swift stab. She could do it the same way he had murdered his father.  
Rey held the handle of her saber close to his chest, aiming the front to his heart. Only a slight pressure on the switch and it would be over. He was rotten to the core. Everyone would thank her for it.

Her blood pumped with increasing heat. The power she had over his life flooded everything with a dark, pleasant arousal. The tables had certainly turned.  
A vague, unwelcome memory flickered by, one of Luke gazing at her across a camp fire.  
_“The road to the dark side is filled with good intentions, Rey. You did well not to deal him that final blow.”_  
Damn Luke. Damn the entire Jedi code.

 _“No Jedi would strike a defenseless enemy down, no matter what the circumstances. We are not killers. There is no excuse for anything outside the code of self-defense.”_  
Could this not be interpreted as self-defense?  
She sighed heavily, knowing the answer all too well.

Fastening both lightsabers to her belt, she rose and fought against gravity to climb to the only door in sight.  
The door had to be pulled aside, as the machinery did not respond.  
A cockpit waited on the other side. The two pilots were still strapped to their seats. The force told her they were dead. The window in front of her was covered with something white and glimmering. Snow?

The floor revealed a ramp that had to be the exit. It was easy to figure out which buttons and levers to push. To make the ramp move turned out to be harder. Then she caught sight of the escape shutter. Wrenching it open, she stuck her head out and was hit by a blast of icy winds, throwing white, cold flakes in her face. She cried out and retreated, closing the shutter quickly.

An inner alarm went off. He was waking up.  
The pilots had blasters and she stuck them to her belt. Then she climbed back into the passenger compartment and put one foot against the wall and the other against the floor to get a steady stance.  
Igniting the lightsaber, she waited.

He came to his senses in a matter of seconds. His black eyes were drowsy and unfocused, but he must have sensed her standing close, for his gaze became sharp and attentive fast. Their eyes met.  
His left hand grasped the empty side of his belt. Then he lowered his eyelids to focus on the lightsaber in her hand before looking back at her.

“Drop the weapon.” He said in a low voice.  
There was no fear from him, only discomfort from the pain.  
“You are not the one giving orders here.” Rey declared, raising her chin. “Explain this!”  
He made a short, dismissive huff and waved his hand.

Her body froze as if a thousand heavy shackles held it in place. Eyes narrowed, she concentrated; pushing his powers backwards. The intensity of his invisible grip decreased. Then her limbs started to move slowly, as if she was deep under the surface of an ocean.  
She moved the blue blade towards him, one inch at a time. 

His lightsaber was torn off from her belt so fast she failed to catch it as it soared towards his waiting hand. She concentrated all her power into a push and wrenched free from her paralyzed state for the second it took to kick him in the face.  
Blood spattered as his head slammed against the wall. She floated his weapon back into her hand.  
“You want more, or have you had it?” She snarled. “I will hurt you _really_ bad if you try anything else! Where are we? What is this?”

Kylo Ren’s face turned slowly towards her. His eyes seemed blacker.  
“You are my prisoner.” He said.  
“Really? How about this? You are my prisoner now and you are going to tell me everything I need to know!”

Blood came from his nose and mouth. He wiped it off with the back of his hand, never breaking eye contact.  
“What do you think you need to know, scavenger? That you are trapped on a desolate planet with me and that I am the only one who can get us out of here?”  
“You are unbelievable.”

The pieces were falling into place. She had stayed with Luke on the island where she had found him, being tutored in the ancient arts of the Jedi for several months. Then they had returned to D’qar, continuing the training. Finn had woken up, they had kissed- oh, that _kiss_ \- and Leia had sent them off to a small mission on Takodana, to ask Maz Kanata for aid in a mission. 

And just like the last time, Kylo Ren had caught her unawares as she had ventured into the woods on her own to find a peaceful spot for meditation. This time she did not even sense him before his hand was on the back of her skull, forcing her into a heavy sleep. There had only been that second when she had known who did it before she was out.  
Was Finn alright?

She tipped her head slightly to the side.  
“It does not take a genius to see how we are going to leave this place.” She said. “The ship needs to be repaired and lifted into the right position. That’s it.”  
“Is it?”  
She drew air into her lungs, deeply and slowly, to master herself.

“Do not move.” She said. “I am going to look for tools and make an estimation of the damage. If you try to do anything…”  
“…you will hurt me badly.” He finished. “Such an asset you would be for me.”  
There was a hint of something in his tone that made her uncomfortable.

“By the way, your arm is broken.” She said, starting to climb out of the room. “But your side of the force likes pain don’t you? So gorge in it, I don’t mind.”  
“You will find no tools on this ship.”  
She stopped and stared at him.  
“Are you serious? Why would there be no tools?”

He rose, staggering only slightly before standing tall with an impressive display of dignity despite his situation. He took hold of his broken arm and set it right with a horrifying cracking sound. She winced.  
“There is an abandoned base nearby.” He said. “I made sure to aim for it before the pilots lost control over the ship.”  
“What do you want, applause? Where are we?”  
“Hoth, in the Outer Rim.”

“What can we expect to find on this base?”  
“Hopefully all you need to repair the ship so we can continue our journey.”  
“All _I_ need to…!”  
Rey fought to get her racing pulse under control.  
“This place is getting colder by the minute.” She said. “We need to find a heat source, water and food. Then we will tend to the ship. Do not think I will let you sit and order me around.” 

“You know how to repair ships.” He said. “I have other matters to attend.”  
“You have not!”  
“We’ll see.”  
She locked eyes with him, nodding slowly.  
“Yes. We’ll see.” 

Leaving the ship became a cumbersome project.  
Rey took blankets from his bunk and made a primitive pair of boots and a thicker tunic for herself. Kylo Ren’s clothing was already fit for the walk. Before leaving, he did wrap his wounded arm tightly with a severed part of his robe and tied the cloth around his neck. There was an instinct to help him, but she swallowed it stubbornly.  
She insisted on searching the ship for tools before they left, but there was none in sight. 

Nothing could have prepared her for the cold outside. This was not like the wintery landscape on Starkiller base. Everywhere she looked there was white and the wind was strong and merciless.  
The snow was knee deep and she stumbled and fell a couple of times as she followed his lead to the base he had spoken about. If his clothes had not made such a stark contrast to the surroundings, she might have lost him in the howling winds, throwing curtains of snow between them. 

When they finally approached the foot of a mountain, she felt him use the force. Moments later, a huge door slid open with a metallic, scraping sound. She followed him inside and pulled the newly made tunic tighter around her. He closed the door, leaving them in pitch darkness. She ignited her lightsaber and saw his white face close to hers. 

“Give me my weapon.” He said.  
“No.”  
“If I wanted to kill you, you would have been dead by now. We both need to search this place for what we need.”  
“Then stay close to me.”  
Rey regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. 

She started to scan the surroundings one step at a time, listening intensely for any sounds. He was so close behind her, that she could feel his clothes brush against her back. Holding the lightsaber away from her eyes not to be blinded, she finally bumped into a much needed treasure.  
“A main generator!” She said. “These things normally contain fuel that can last for centuries! If I can find the switches…” 

There was a slight pull of her belt and a soaring sound. She spun around and put the lightsaber into battle position as his red, crackling blade was lit.  
“Lower your weapon.” He said. “Did you really think I would let you steal my lightsaber while still alive?”  
“You lower your weapon!”  
“Inspect the generator. I will hold the lightsaber close to its surface to give you sight.”  
“Not too close.” She murmured.  
“Calm down, scavenger. You are still of use to me.” 

She let her guard down only slightly, keeping him in the corner of her eye as she let her free hand wander over the icy metal.  
“Over here!” She said.  
The red blade was enough to see the control board. The generator itself was huge, twice her height, and as it came to life with a low hum, she jumped in excitement.  
“Yes!” 

Within moments, a number of round lamps installed into the walls lit up and revealed a huge hall that must have served as a docking bay. She turned to face Kylo Ren. There was a short nod from him and as she answered it, both their lightsabers were deactivated and placed in their belts. 

The hangar was in a terrible state. There were no ships or vehicles inside, save for the left-overs from a ship that had exploded into a thousand pieces.  
“The generator should bring heat to the facilities.” She said. “And while it does, we have to look for food and water.”  
“The snow can be melted and digested by humans. There should be an installation of sorts in here, leading the melted snow directly into pipes.”  
She frowned. 

“Do you know this place?”  
“Not by personal experience.”  
“Did you… make this happen? The crash?”  
He frowned back at her.  
“Of course not.”  
“So why am I here? With you?” 

She tuned into the force, trying to sneak her way into his thoughts.  
“Do not do that.” He warned, his voice bearing a note of the calm before a storm.  
She sighed impatiently.  
“Well?” She said. “Tell me!”  
“Food and water first.” He replied with a dismissive gesture.  
There was an itch in her hands to strangle him. Instead she batted an eyebrow.  
“Like I said.” 

They discovered the base in silence, not letting each other out of sight. They only found a few control rooms before the way further inside was blocked by huge stones. The equipment inside these rooms was destroyed, mostly from blasters by the looks of it.  
“If I can repair one of these, I could send for a rescue team.” She said, stopping by a large communication device.  
“You are not going to send for your people.”  
“If you behave I might let you send for yours once I am gone.” 

He stepped up right behind her, his breath tingling on her ear.  
“You will not leave this place on your own, Rey.”  
Silence hung in the air for seconds.  
Then she stepped to the side and away from him.  
“I’ll search the storage rooms.” She declared.  
He followed closely behind her. 

She shuddered from the raw cold. Most of the snow on her clothes had melted through the material and kept her skin chillingly damp. Her teeth clattered uncontrollably.  
The storage rooms were mostly raked clean, save for one that had a few boxed food rations and a device connected to the wall with tap that turned out to produce water.  
Rey let out a sigh of relief.  
Food for at least thirty days. Twice as much if they cut the rations in half. 

Kylo Ren went out of sight and reappeared quickly, holding a thick sleeping bag in his hands.  
“I found this. You should strip and get into it.”  
_“Excuse me?”_

“Your clothes need to dry. I did not bring you along to let you die.”  
“I’ll wait until I find new clothes.”  
“You are turning blue. There is no telling when and if we can reach the rest of the base.”  
“Where are you going to sleep?”  
“There was only one sleeping bag, so the answer is obvious.”  
She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off, his eyes flashing. 

“Believe me, I’d rather spend the night with an angry rathtar, but as it turns out, you and I are the only source of heat in this place. Presuming the generator will provide a comfortable temperature, it will still take at least forty-eight hours before we notice a difference.”  
He shoved the sleeping bag into her hands.  
Then he turned around abruptly and ignited his lightsaber, mauling the already wrecked computers outside the storage.  
Rey stared. 

The outburst was a short one. He stopped and deactivated his lightsaber, walking up to her with the same deceptive calm as before.  
To her surprise, he took his robe off and handed it to her.  
“Dry yourself with this. Let me know when you are done.”  
He went out of the storage room and shut the door. 

Rey looked from the door to the sleeping bag and then to his robe. If it had been just a little less cold, if she had felt her feet, then she would have thrown everything back at him and started a scene that would have made his pale in comparison.  
She stripped and wrapped the huge robe around her shaking body, winding the belt around her waist to make a primitive, long tunic. She massaged her feet until she could feel a small buzz in them. Then she crept into the sleeping bag and leaned against the wall. 

The sleeping bag helped to shut the cold out. Not as much as desired, but enough to let her mind concentrate on other matters.  
She was stuck on a hostile planet with a murderous maniac, one with whom she had a particular bone to pick. Why had he kidnapped her in the first place?  
She gave the door two sharp knocks.  
“I’m done!” 

He entered and came to a halt right by her feet, towering over her.  
“Now is the time for explanations.” She said.  
“Where is my robe?”  
“I am wearing it. Get over it.”  
He kneeled in front of her to get in level with her face, his lips pressed into a thin line. 

“What do you want, Rey?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Your future. What are your plans for it?”  
“How is that any of your business?”  
“Be careful.” 

She sighed and rolled her eyes.  
“You know about my plans. I am training to become a Jedi.”  
“That is your Master’s wishes. What about your own?”  
“Just give it to me straight.”  
“Join me.” 

She gaped at him.  
“You cannot be serious.”  
“You have no knowledge of my side of the force.” He said, his eyebrows knitting into a frown. “Yet, you act as if the choice someone else took for you is the only available path.”  
“It is to me.”  
“You can’t know that.” 

“Is that why you took me with you? I am not interested! Are you going to kill me now?”  
A wall of silent fury rose between them. He stood up again, gazing down at her with an air of superiority.  
“I forget how young and inexperienced you are.” He said. “Still, you are being particularly foolish about this.”  
Rey stumbled to her feet, still wrapped in the sleeping bag. 

“I am the one being foolish? How can you even think about it, after all you have done? You have hurt and killed my friends and tried to kill me in the process. Give me even one reason to listen to a word you say.”  
“I did not try to kill you.”  
“Not true!” 

“I needed you out of the way for a moment.”  
“While you murdered my friend!”  
“Well, he is not dead, is he?”  
“No, he is not.” She said quietly.  
A dark fire played in Ren’s eyes. He took a step back and made a sweep with his healthy arm. 

“Look at you!” He said. “All this power and potential and you would sell it out to anyone who shows you but a grain of interest.”  
She shook her head, but he was not finished.  
“You are so starved for attention that even the simple mind of a defected, useless soldier would do, as long as he finds you desirable. He is nothing to you, Rey! _Nothing!”_  
The muscles in her jaw tensed. She held a finger out to him in warning.  
“I have heard enough!” 

“There are no depths in his mind that can match yours”, Ren continued, “no understanding of the force and all the threads that connects it, that you so clearly see. Still you harbor these… infantile dreams of a simple life with him, imagining him to be everything he is not.”  
Unzipping the sleeping bag, she threw it aside and marched out of the room, his robe fluttering around her legs. The icy floor was torture to her feet.  
He gave her one final stab. 

“You will end up the way you dread the most: _Alone!”_  
She came to a halt and swallowed hard, before turning around.  
“Well done.” She said. “Right now, I cannot think of even one person that I loathe more than you. Any opening you had to sell your side of the story is closed. Satisfied?” 

“You will be back soon.” He replied.  
“Why? Now I can walk freely among the evil computers that you defeated. You really showed them!”  
Silence.  
One sleeping bag. This had to be the worst day of her life. 

She returned to the storage room after walking some of the anger off. Her feet were numb again. Tuning into the force had helped to regain balance, but seeing him made her reel inwardly.  
He sat against the wall wrapped in the sleeping bag, much like she had. His clothes and boots lay in a heap beside him. He still wore a black, tight long-sleeved shirt, displaying the shape of his broad shoulders and muscular arms.  
Did he wear that on purpose, to show off? 

There was a holo book resting in his lap, displaying a strange symbol.  
“So you are back.” He said, not bothering to look up.  
She stared at the holo book.  
“Where did that come from?”  
“I found it.”  
“You did not tell me.”  
“No.” 

He gave her a quick glance.  
“Come.” He said. “You might find this interesting.”  
Reluctantly, she took a step closer. The cold was insufferable.  
He smirked.  
“You will have to join me in here sooner or later.”  
He unzipped the sleeping bag and held it open. If only she could wipe the smirk from his face. 

Rey sat down in it, trying and failing to get some private space. The only way they would both fit in there was pressed tightly together. She crossed her arms in protest as she leaned against him, secretly wincing from the pleasure of feeling his warm body. She had imagined him being cold as a snake.  
His angry cry startled her. 

“Your feet! Get them off me!”  
“Not possible. Not enough space.” She explained, her cheeks getting warm.  
Maybe there was enough space. But his legs were perfect radiators for her frozen toes.  
He writhed uncomfortably for a moment, before accepting his fate with silent curses.  
“What is the book about?” She asked, with exaggerated interest. 

He glared at her.  
“Biographies of independent force users.”  
“Independent?”  
Oh no. Too eagerly-sounding.  
“Yes. Did your Master not tell you about them?”  
Rey bit her tongue. 

“We should find out how damaged the ship is and look for tools to fix it.” She said.  
“The snow storm needs to subside. And you need better clothes.”  
“I can make something out of the blankets once they’re dry. With your robe added, it should suffice.”  
“My robe is not yours to re-model.”  
“Then we’ll have to wait with the repairs on the ship, I guess.”  
He opened his mouth and shut it again. 

“I brought you with me only because I knew you would not agree to a meeting.” He said.  
“You are absolutely right, I wouldn’t.”  
“You need to explore your full potential, without limiting influences.”  
“So, you are not a limiting influence? You kidnapped me!”  
“This is war, Rey. We each do what we have to.”  
“Some do more than called for.” She muttered. 

She closed her eyes, the familiar pain uncoiling and crashing in like a heavy wave. Han Solo, her new friend, her hope for a better life, standing on the bridge and pleading with his son.  
Ren’s presence was strong. He was not only a part of her memory, but inside it at this very moment. He saw her thoughts and for a second she could sense a greater pain, outside of herself. 

They sat in silence for some time. Ren’s eyes were on the holo book, but she could sense his thoughts drifting, turning away from the scene on the bridge, struggling to remain unmoved by the pain in his arm and head. Thinking about her.  
“I am going to rest a while.” He said. “You should too, unless you wish to leave the sleeping bag.” 

Rey sighed, but followed his movements as he lay down on the floor on his left side. Her eyelids kept drooping, so the idea was not all that bad. When the opportunity arose, she pressed more of her feet to his legs. He did not stop her. Instead he snuck an arm under her neck.  
“Hey!” She exclaimed, grabbing his wrist to shove it away.  
“There is not enough room to have it any other way!” He snapped. 

She snorted, but let his wrist go.  
The other arm moved to embrace her.  
_“Hey!”_  
“It’s broken! I will take the space I need or you can move your feet!”  
She did not talk back.  
Ren closed the last inch between them by scuffing his body close against hers. 

They lay pressed together and no part of him escaped her. His warm chest and abdomen against her back, his thighs against hers and his... private parts… against her buttocks. Even his mouth was so close she could feel it touch the back of her head.  
His hand slowly uncurled and spread out on her upper arm. Her skin prickled. 

Resting this close to someone was not at all unpleasant. If only he had been anybody else in the whole galaxy. Finn should be the one to experience this with. Why had they never tried it? There were so many possibilities other than a shy kiss.  
For now, the heat from Ren would have to do and she intended to use it for her comfort. He owed her at least that much. 

\--- 

A slight move he made woke her up. She was a light sleeper by habit and his snoring did not help much.  
His lightsaber had slipped down from his belt and pushed annoyingly hard against the small of her back. She opened her eyes just barely. Her gaze fell on his hand resting on the floor, belonging to the arm under her head. His fingers gripped the lightsaber loosely, ready to engage in battle the moment he woke up. 

Rey held her own weapon in the exact same position, her hand lying close to his. She had slept that way with her staff countless times. But if his lightsaber was there…  
…then what…  
Her eyes opened wide. Before she could stop herself she panicked, turned and punched him in the face. 


	2. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this story has gotten 80 kudos from being online only three days!  
> I am so grateful for your appreciation and needless to say, pretty nervous about how you will receive future chapters. I'll do my best to keep the quality up. Promise!  
> But right now, let's see what happened on Hoth a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.  
> May the force be with you. Always.

He woke up faster than expected.  
Rey managed to block the crackling red beam at the last moment. His eyes were livid.  
She was reminded of his strength as he pressed against her weapon. He followed swiftly when she sprung backwards. Again, their weapons collided. Red and blue sparks flew.  
“What were you trying to do?” He hissed.  
“Me? Nothing!” She shouted. “What were _you_ trying to do?”

His gaze became unnerving. She jumped away, making sure her back was towards the door. The red blade rose to an attack position and she went into a parrying stance.  
He froze, staring at her with his mouth half open. Then he lowered the blade.  
“You are raving mad, scavenger!”  
“What is that supposed to mean?”

But she knew. He had picked it from her mind like a villainous thief.  
“Get a hold of yourself. There is no need to flaunt your innocence in this matter.”  
“How about this?” She replied. “We switch positions in that sleeping bag and I’ll shove my lightsaber up your ass!”

He looked away for a second and then back at her.  
“I am going back to sleep.” He said, deactivating the lightsaber. “I suggest you do the same.”  
“Never!”  
“Then freeze to death.”

He went inside the sleeping bag again and she turned her weapon off and glared at him with clenched teeth. The room was freezing. She marched to his heap of clothes and added all his tunics to her body and took his boots on before sitting down with crossed legs, with the lightsaber resting in her lap.

The cold got to her quickly and she had to get up and walk back and forth in his large boots. The desert nights on Jakku had been cold, but not like this. Her teeth were clattering again. Sleep came creeping and she knew Ren was watching her. 

“Come back, Rey.”  
“No.”  
“Nothing will happen.”  
“No it will not. Because if you try anything…”  
“I have been informed. By the way, you do not have my consent to use my clothes as you like.”  
“You don’t scare me. Is that what you think? You disgust me, that is all.”  
He sighed and sat up, leaning against the wall. 

“I assure you, we are past the point where anything _could_ happen. You certainly made sure of that.” He rubbed his sore cheek.  
“I am not an innocent little girl.”  
“Your lack of civilized manners is still very noticeable.”

They looked at each other.  
Then she kicked his boots off, peeled the tunics away and took her place in the sleeping bag again. This time she lay down facing his chest and as his arms closed around her, she decided not to fall asleep before him.  
His snoring did not resume. It was going to be a long night.  
___

The next morning was dreadful.  
There had not been a lot of sleep and Ren responded testily to everything she said. Soon she understood that the pain was to blame. His face was black and blue and his breathing was short every time he moved his broken arm. As much as he deserved being tortured, it was still hard to watch.  
“Why don’t you use the force to heal?” Rey asked.  
He made a contemptuous sound.  
“Suit yourself.” She sighed.

The snowstorm had settled and they were heading out to examine the ship.  
Her clothes were not fully dry, but she had put them on and Ren did not ask to get his robe back. Once she had fastened double layers of the blankets around her shoes, they headed out into stark daylight. This time they could open the hangar gate with the control board inside.  
The snow was deeper. Rey were light enough to walk on it, but Ren had a lot of trouble keeping up with her. It did not improve his mood at all. Finally he used his powers to blast a trench through the obstacle.

They had to use the force to locate the ship below ground and then remove enough snow to enter through the escape shuttle. This was the first time she saw the ship from the outside. This was smaller and more discreet than the shuttle he normally traveled in.  
Rey went to work immediately, checking the damage on the inside and then on the outside. Luckily, the cold had prevented the bodies of the two pilots from decomposing. 

The external damage made her heart sink.  
“What happened to the ship?” She asked, touching the remainder of the left wing.  
“It was shot down.”  
“By whom?”  
He did not answer.

“The engines are severely damaged.” She explained. “Parts of them have melted. We will need a lot of spare parts and quite some equipment to fix this. Not to speak of the wing. It needs to be replaced entirely.”  
“Can you do it?”

 _“We_ can, if we find something useful. We should check for alternative entrances to the base.”  
He nodded.  
“My thoughts exactly.”  
“I need a promise from you.”  
“Not now.”  
She frowned.  
“Yes, now! I want to know that…”  
Something was wrong. 

She looked around, trying to locate the source of the sudden change. Nothing yet. Ren felt it too. They both activated their lightsabers.  
The snow behind Ren flew up in a spray of white. A set of huge claws flashed as he turned and swung the lightsaber against them. The next moment there was blood everywhere, expanding on the ground as Ren sank down. A giant arm landed in front of Rey with a silent thud.

A white, hairy monster that made Ren look tiny roared and stretched its remaining hand towards her.  
Rey charged at once, taking a leap forward and using her mobility in the snow to dance to the monster’s side and stab it below the ribs. Another loud roar. The claws grasped for her, but she jumped aside and sank the saber into its heart. 

Its arm went slack. Swaying slightly, it remained upright for a moment. Rey withdrew the glowing blade and lowered it. She had taken only a small step back when the creature turned around with unbelievable speed. Claws ripped through her tunic and she cried out.  
Then the beast fell to the ground, plunging deep into the snow. 

She checked her wounds quickly. Shallow cuts. No entrails hanging out. Then she turned to Ren.  
He lay face down in the snow, right beside the attacker.  
“No!”  
She fell to her knees, rolling him over on his back. He was breathing with difficulty. Touching his chest, images of several internal wounds rushed by- one with a sharp rib cutting into the lung. 

She hyperventilated. Being alone on this planet was not an option. As ugly as the realization was, his survival was intimately linked to hers. Suddenly all the crap he pulled seemed a small price to pay.  
“I’ll fix this.” She murmured.  
Luke had told her that the force could be used for healing, but she had never actually tried it. The fear settled as she concentrated hard, connecting to infinity and focusing with a strength she never knew was there.

All things melted and gained other shapes.  
Broken bones, tissue and blood. Mind and matter was intertwined in an endless cluster of threads. The rib moved slowly back into place and the lung smoothed its wound over, gathering enough air to uphold life.  
There was the bridge on Starkiller base, where his father extended his hand to take the lightsaber. Anguish. The father falling to his death and a gash cut into the son’s chest, much deeper than flesh. Regrets and confusion. A call to the light and the struggle to turn his back to it. 

The bones and muscles in his right arm moved back into place.  
_You’re so lonely. So afraid to leave._ The words echoed from his mind. They were as much about him as they were about her.  
The dark bruises on his face dissolved.  
_Her_ face, twisted into a mask of fury. _You are afraid you will not be as strong as Darth Vader._

Compassion. From _him_.  
Then the plan. Watch her. Bring her over. Delete the threat by turning it against the enemy.  
Her light leaking in through the cracks. Temptation.  
He was watching as she lay shackled to the table. The shape of her mouth. The place where her waist curved into narrow hips.  
The doors to his mind slammed shut.  
___

The sun stung her eyes.  
He was looking up at her, taking her arm as she nearly fell over. It was freezing.  
“What are you doing?” He asked, frowning.  
“Saving your life, you ungrateful worrt!”  
Her voice was weak. Arms and legs would not obey as she tried to stand.

Ren rose and removed the cloth around his right arm with a curious expression.  
“You are indeed skilled with the force.” He said quietly.  
Her sight was blurring. He turned and reached down for her.

“No!” It came out only as a hoarse whisper. “I can take care of myself!”  
To prove the point she rose rapidly, glaring triumphantly at him before falling backwards. Ren caught her before she hit the ground.  
“You are spent.” He said. “And you are bleeding.”  
“I only need to rest for a moment.”  
Then everything went black.  
___

It was a lovely, drowsy heat.  
She moved her head slightly against the hand on her head, wincing from its tender fingertips in her hair. A smile spread on her lips as she noticed the arm firmly wrapped around her. This was what she had always dreamed about; a soft, intimate awakening with Finn.  
The humming sound felt safe and familiar. The Falcon. It had to be.

“I was afraid something had happened to you.” She whispered.  
“Indeed.”  
Han Solo’s voice? Only, there was something…  
A cold stone fell into her stomach. Keeping her eyes closed, she pretended to go back to sleep.  
His thumb traced the edge of her ear slowly. It caused her to wince again. His chin rested against her head. His throat made a slight movement as he swallowed.

The wounds on her torso burned. She moved her hand slowly to feel the claw marks. They were bandaged.  
Had he undressed her to do that? All clothes seemed to be on. She opened her eyes.  
Ren was leaning against the generator, holding her closely as she lay wrapped in the sleeping bag. There was heat radiating from the huge machine. An empty food box lay beside them, refilled with water. Another box was still unopened. Her stomach ached.

“Why are you holding me like this?”  
“Your temperature was very low. You sat still in the snow for a long time.”  
“Right.”  
Her ears went hot.

“You should eat.” He said; his voice cold and distant.  
Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed the water and put the box to her mouth. She took hold of it with shaking fingers and emptied it greedily. The she reached for the food.  
The box was fairly warm and as she opened it and so were its contents.  
“Oh!” she exclaimed before stuffing her mouth full with as much as she could manage.

Real pieces of meat and vegetables in a delicious sause with small, tasty nuts.  
“Ow dud u ar’the ood?” She asked.  
“What?”  
Rey chewed and swallowed quickly.  
“How did you manage to warm the food?”  
“I put it under the generator.”  
“Brilliant!” 

She finished the rest of the meal in silence and leaned back against him again, patting her stomach contently.  
His heart was beating fast against her ear. The visions from the healing were still very present. Did it have to be this complicated? It was a lot easier when she had imagined him devoid of any regrets.  
She touched the bandages again.  
“How did you…?” Her face burned. “Never mind.”

“You mean, how did I bind your wounds? How do you think?”  
“I just want to make sure.”  
“Make sure of what exactly?”  
“Let’s just drop it.”  
He took hold of her arms, leaned her forward and stood up.  
“I am going to practice with my weapon.” He said.  
She frowned and crossed her arms as he took the lightsaber out.

“Are you going to fight the computers again?”  
“Do not disturb me.”  
“You are not giving me orders. Besides, I need to practice too.”  
She rose on trembling legs, stretched her limbs to soften them and removed her lightsaber from the belt.  
He huffed. 

“What use is there for you to practice without a teacher?” he said. “You are not good enough to know when you make mistakes.”  
“You know nothing about my skills.”  
“Years of practice make me an expert on this!”  
“Well, I took down the monster outside while you took a nap in the snow.” She replied, making a defense position with her saber. “So shut up.”

He glared at her with burning eyes.  
“You are holding your arm wrong.” He informed her.  
Then he lit his saber and mimicked several attack positions in one fleeting movement.  
Rey watched him as he continued and waited until there was a second’s pause.  
“You left holes in your guard at least three times.” She said.  
He swung the lightsaber her way unexpectedly. She blocked it with a surprised gasp.

“Impressive.” He said. “But your footing is bad. If I had put my full weight into the blow, you would have been dead.”  
She clenched her teeth.  
“I beat you once.”  
“After I had been shot. Try doing it now.”  
He attacked her furiously.

Ren was at a huge advantage, fully healed. It did not take long before her wounds laid open from the strain, bleeding through the bandage. The blows rained down over her tirelessly and she had to use her last reserves to fend him off.  
Suddenly he stepped sideways and tackled her hard into a wall. The breath went out of her. He used it to grab her hand, trying to wrench the lightsaber out of her grip.

The red blade came closer and she caught his wrist to stop it.  
“Drop the weapon!” He hissed.  
“Never!”  
“That weapon is mine. It belongs to _my_ family.”  
“Your family…gave me…that…weapon!”  
His blade was close to her throat. Lifting her chin, she stared straight into his eyes- into his soul.

“You won’t do this.” She gasped, words tumbling out on their own accord. “You would not want to make another mistake.”  
He raised his eyebrows and let her go, heaving for breath before slashing the wall right over her head. She cried out before she could stop herself.

“You think you know something about me, scavenger? Oh, I felt you rake through my head as you moved my bones around! What you don’t know is that I gazed into you with as much clarity!”  
His blade came close to her face.  
“I know why you will never deal that defecting traitor more than one dry little kiss!”  
“Don’t!” 

“You fear intimacy, because you know the price of it. They might all just be using you. Or is it about your family who failed to return?”  
“Stop or I’ll kill you!”  
The ground seemed to move beneath her feet.  
“We both know you will not do that. And then, the indecent offers you had on Jakku when you were out of food. There is really no one to trust, is there?”

“Well, look at yourself!” She roared. “All proud and powerful, thinking you’re so bad and every passing minute, you doubt if you can live with yourself because of what you did!”  
His fist crashed into the wall right beside her, brushing her ear.  
Their eyes locked, inches from each other.  
She shook her head slowly.

“Your wounds.” He said.  
“I know.”  
“Why don’t you heal yourself then?”  
“Oh, I will.”  
He took a step back. She walked past him, stopping only once to look him in the eye.

“Just so you know.” She said. “If I had been fully recovered, you had not stood a chance.”  
“Such delusions.”  
She sat down clumsily by the generator, took off the self-styled tunic, pulled up her shirt and started to remove the blood-soaked bandages.  
He followed and sat down beside her.  
“Would you look away?” She said, too tired to raise her voice.  
“Why? I have already seen everything.”

 _“Everything?”_  
“You know what I mean.”  
“I do not approve of you taking my clothes off while I’m asleep.”  
“And I do not approve of you beating me while I am asleep.”

The wounds were bad, but he had wrapped them up tidily, using part of his middle tunic as raw material.  
“You did this very well.” She said reluctantly. “Thank you.”  
He frowned.  
Leaning back against the generator, she closed her eyes and began the healing.

When she woke up, her heart was beating frantically. A dark dream lingered in the background.  
Her head rested in his lap. She was wrapped in the sleeping bag and he leaned against the generator, reading the holo book. His hand was on her shoulder.  
“You’re awake.” He said.  
She crept further down the sleeping bag, shrugging his hand off.

“You were having a bad dream.”  
“Leave me alone.”  
Tears were burning in her eyes. The ship had left without her again, like it had thousands of times. Unkar Plutt had shown no sympathy. Tools were thrown at her feet. The new guardian was shouting orders. Her parents were gone, never to return.

“This is quite an interesting reading.” He said coolly. “Have you heard about Jolee Bindo’s role in the great Sith war?”  
Jolee Bindo might as well have been the name of an exotic plant for all she knew.  
“Listen to this.” He continued. “Defying the Jedi High Council turned out to win him a lot of battles. Bindo was enlisted to…”

His voice was low, soothing. Her muscles started to relax. The dream was fading from memory. When his hand landed on her shoulder again she did not remove it. Nobody had ever read aloud to her before.  
“Who is this Bindo?” She asked.  
“I will start from the beginning.”

Dozing off to his voice was unexpectedly pleasant. Rey barely noticed when he joined her inside the bag, wrapping both arms around her. His breathing slowed down. Then there was soft snoring next to her ear. It was strangely comforting. 

The many hours of rest during daytime made it hard to fall asleep. To pass the time, she ventured into deep meditation. His mind had not been entirely closed to her since the healing. She caught moods and glimpses of thoughts every now and then. Somewhere in the middle of the meditation, she caught his nightmare as well.

The bridge again. But it was not Han Solo standing there. It was general Leia, pointing an accusing finger at him. Behind her was a dark-robed creature in a mask; the person his mind had revealed as Darth Vader.  
Ren’s lightsaber was activated. He stood frozen, dreading the outcome- any outcome- of it.  
A dark, echoing voice boomed from somewhere below.  
_You know what you have to do._

He deserved to burn in this self-inflicted anguish. Still, his considerate gesture towards her had not gone unnoticed. Following the Jedi side of the force meant being larger than herself. Unconditionally compassionate.

Rey left her meditative state and turned around with small scuffs, putting her hand on his cheek. It was damp with cold sweat.  
He held his breath suddenly. His eyes opened into narrow slits.  
“You were having a nightmare.” She whispered.  
She leaned her head against his chest, pressing closer. 

Slowly and tentatively, she snuck her arm around him and lay still, listening to his racing pulse. A hand moved up to hold the back of her head, stroking it gently, touching the nape of her neck.  
This time, _her_ breath came to a halt.

There was a chilling sensation spreading from his fingers and throughout her body, creating an intoxicating lightheadedness.  
She knew he sensed her reaction and he was pleased.  
There was a thousand ways to break it off. A knee in the crotch, fingers in the eyes, biting his ear off. 

Only, no part of her wanted to move.  
She closed her eyes and let the air out with a sigh. It should be Finn making her feel this; cute Finn with a glint in his eyes, always putting others before his own needs. Finn, who knew nothing of her secrets, her inner struggle or the force. Finn who mistook her distance for strength. 

A soft stroke just below her ear caused multiple shivers.  
Something was building up inside, causing her to breathe irregularly. Any moment now she should end it, or else this unknown restlessness might make her explode.  
Instead she touched his jaw, hating how her fingers trembled. He inhaled sharply.  
Rey lifted her head and looked at him.

The black irises were mesmerizing; drawing her in as she passed the threshold between their minds. The gate was wide open. Time itself trembled and came to a halt.  
Never before had she seen another being without its flesh. It was breathtaking. A red glowing thing in the dark, threads of light extending in every direction. His presence was engulfing. She bathed in this red light, sensing the complexity of a mind so fully conscious of the force. 

It was no longer possible to separate her soul from his.  
There was so much unwanted solitude, so much bitterness. And the endless anger, the deep abyss of burning magma threatening to erupt above ground level.  
To him it was an open wound. To her, the strength to uphold her convictions.  
Or was it the other way around?

A small spark flared inside the angry crimson, its white light reaching for her.  
She embraced it, recognizing it as part of herself.  
Instantly the blood-colored light followed, flooding her senses. The burning need was overwhelming; intoxicating. She knew it all too well. 

Rey drew back, becoming aware of how their bodies laid tightly together. A new element was added; his lips touching hers.  
Pushing with both hands and feet, she broke free and wormed out of the sleeping bag.

“Come back!” He called.  
Biting her lip hard, she started to tie her boots on. Her hands would not stop trembling.  
Ren flew up and dressed with haste, glaring at her.  
Rey threw the rest of her clothes on and sprinted towards the communication room. He followed, turning a mangled control board over in the process.

Rey spun around and activated the lightsaber.  
“Stand back!”  
He ignited his weapon, pointing it towards her.  
“ _You_ started it!” he said.  
“I did no such thing!”  
“You’re a coward, scavenger!”  
She attacked him in a red haze. Though he blocked her and was driven backwards, he kept his eyes locked to hers. 

When the counter attack came, she had lost all sense of fear. Her blood was burning and as he tried to sweep her legs, she shoved a fist beneath his ribs. He gasped for air and attacked her with greater intensity. Their weapons slammed against each other, fizzling and crackling. 

The blades came together in a lock. For a second they both struggled to find a safe exit. Then both of them tried kicking the other one back at the same time.  
They stumbled backwards and to her surprise, Ren shut his weapon down and threw it aside.  
She accepted the challenge and did the same.

Rey jumped him before he could make the first move, wrestling him down to the floor. He was a lot stronger than her, but she knew exactly how to use it to gain the upper hand. After a sweaty match, she managed to lock her legs around him and hold his arm behind his back, forcing him to lie on his other arm.

“Here’s the deal.” She said, panting. “I don’t need anything from you.”  
He broke free with a swift move and slammed her back to the ground, holding her wrists as he sat on her legs.  
“I know you’re lying.” He said between clenched teeth, his face uncomfortably near hers. “You forget that I saw you too.”

Rey blinked. Then she drew her head back as much as she could before head-butting him. He cried out and released her wrists, jumping away. The blood gushed from his nose as he called the lightsaber back to his hand.  
She had a start as phantom pain throbbed in her nostrils. The anger melted away and a more familiar feeling took over.  
“Oups.” She said. Then biting her tongue. "I didn't mean to..."  
“Stay away from me!” he growled, kicking a metal cabinet to the ground. 

Wiping the nose with the back of his hand, Ren turned and walked back the way he came, slashing things with his lightsaber with nearly every step.  
Head in her hands, Rey waited for a long time before she went back to their small camp by the generator. The cold was eating her up, but so was the fight.  
Truth be told, there was no telling who had initiated the kiss.  
“Don’t let it be me.” She whispered.

He was sitting with his back to the generator as she came back, reading the holo book. The blood under his nose was dry. He had stripped down to his usual black shirt. He made a big deal out of ignoring her as she squatted before him, trying to catch his attention.  
“Can we talk?”  
“So now you want to talk.” He kept his eyes on the book.

“You brought me here against my will, you know.”  
“I am not enjoying this any more than you are.”  
“What can I do?”  
He raised his head and looked at her. Rey scratched the back of her head.

“I mean… maybe I came on a bit too strongly.”  
“You mean unlike last night?”  
“Did I hurt your feelings?” She spat. “You are not that easy to deal with yourself.”  
“Are you apologizing to me, scavenger?”  
She looked into his eyes.  
“Let me heal your nose.”

“On one condition.” He lowered the book to his lap. “Tomorrow, we will discuss the previous topic when I choose and you will not use your fists or your weapon to get away from it.”  
“What topic? I don’t know what you mean.”  
“You blush when you lie.”

She averted her gaze. Then she gave him a short nod and closed in.  
His eyes were nailed to her as she put her fingertips on his nose. Her pulse was quickening as bone and cartilage healed. A part of his soul got stuck with her every time she used her powers on him.  
Darkness and greed. And how much he enjoyed feeling her hands on his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up in next chapter: Naughty things. I mean smut. Smut coming up.


	3. Naked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It really is such a boost to have your appreciation, especially since I know how many other stories there are out there worthy of the attention. Love you!  
> This will be the last chapter before Christmas and the story will continue after the holidays. It you are allergic to smut, this might make your nose run a little.
> 
> Merry Christmas and May the Force be with You. Always.

“Are you done?”  
His voice came from the gate to the hangar.  
Rey finished securing her homemade boots and joined him.  
It was time to investigate the base for other entrances and they had prepared by scanning the area through the force. Both had agreed that a spot about ten minutes away seemed promising.

This time none of them let their guard down for a second while walking outside.   
The sky was a startling blue and the sun mirrored itself in a million tiny snowflakes on the ground. It was beautiful, but Rey would have chosen trees and plants over it any day. There could only be so much of a dead, fruitless landscape.

She yawned at least five times during the walk. None of them had gotten much sleep after the fight last night. When she had joined him in the sleeping bag there had been a tension that gave awkward a whole new meaning.  
Most of the base was covered by the snow, but it was no match for them to find the other entrance. They both stopped at the same time, looking at each other. Then they started to remove the snow, using their powers to shove layer after layer aside until a door emerged. It was half open already and marked by blasters.

Rey walked the few stairs down and touched the door. Images fluttered by.  
People running through the door, getting shot. Stormtroopers entering. A man in the background, looking oddly familiar. She blinked and looked at Ren.   
“Yes.” He said. “This used to be a Rebel base.”

She walked inside, almost tripping over a skeleton in winter clothing. She lingered for a moment, but Ren stepped past it and continued inside a broad corridor.  
“Darth Vader found this base and destroyed it.” He said, looking around with reverence as if they were in a sacred place.  
There were more skeletons scattered on the floor, accompanied by a few faceless stormtroopers. Their armor looked ancient.  
At least the light was on. The generator in their part of the base probably supported the entire place.

“If there was a battle here, perhaps there were ships shot down.” Rey said. “We could scan the area outside for spare parts.”  
“Tools first.”   
She nodded.

The corridor ended in an assembly room with several doors on each wall.   
After investigating them, Rey cried out as she found a room filled with half-repaired smaller devices, surrounded by toolboxes. She lifted a foam sealant from a table and instantly the face of a man came into focus. There was no mistaking his mischievous eyes and self-assured smile, even though the face was devoid of wrinkles and the hair a brownish thick mess. Han Solo.

Kylo Ren appeared in the doorway, eyeing the room.  
“Good.” He said, nodding in approval. Then he looked at her and frowned.  
A shadow fell over his face.  
“Finish up.” He said. “We have more to explore.”

The memory of Han Solo made every step feel heavier. Still, she had small outbursts of relief whenever a new discovery was made. There were more storage rooms here and sleeping quarters offering mattresses, winter jackets, thicker boots, emergency lanterns and a lot of blankets. There were even backpacks to carry it with. Rey put on a white jacket with a fur-rimmed hood, sighing contently as the light material kept the heat from her body inside.

“You should get one of these.” She suggested, holding a sand-colored jacket out to Ren.  
He sneered.   
“The cold does not bother me that much.”  
But as she went through another storage room finding basic clothing, he browsed the jackets and lifted a dark blue one skeptically.  
Rey packed all she could find, deciding to make a small sleigh out of blankets to bring everything back to their camp. 

Ren seemed stuck with the blue jacket. On instinct, she went about her business, careful not to disturb him.   
There were huge towels in every room, but no showers. As she went hunting for cleaning facilities, more pleasant surprises came her way. Portable devices to warm the food and storages with food enough to last them for a hundred days, even if they had three meals a day.  
She whistled aloud.

Another room drew her in with a whisper. A private place with a narrow bunk and a picture of a Jedi symbol on the wall. Rey drew her breath. There was a holo book in there, containing hundreds of titles suggesting force topics.  
“That belongs to me.”  
Ren was in the doorway, clutching the blue jacket with one hand and pointing at the book with another.

“Luke is my Master.” She said. “I am sure he would want me to have it.”  
“It belongs to _my_ lineage.”  
“You can have it when you admit your lineage. Besides, there is no one stopping us from sharing the books while we’re here.”  
He was silent for a few seconds.  
“There is something I want to show you.” He said.

A corridor lined with doors ended in a stairway leading deeper down the base. It was sparsely lit, but enough to find footing. Strangely, the air seemed milder the further they walked. The stairs ended in a huge lit up cave room with a lake covering most of the ground. There was steam rising from it. Built in ladders, moldy towels and a row of showers revealed it was fit to bathe in.  
“Yes!” Rey shouted. “Finally!”

She ran out of the room and came back with a heap of towels. Ren watched her as she kicked her newly found boots off and wormed out of the jacket. She had started to unbuckle her belt when she froze and glanced at him.  
He had snuck up beside her, wearing an unsettling smirk. With assertive movements, he removed his gloves, belt and boots before starting with the clothes. 

Pretending to have some trouble with her belt, she stalled for more time. The enthusiasm she had shown for bathing was hard to take back in a credible way. And while she made up her mind, he was showing more and more skin.   
A quick glance sideways revealed pale strong shoulders and arms with different shades of scarring. There were several prominent old wounds, the worst being an extension of the one in his face, reaching down across his key bone. His pants slid down and she caught a glimpse of a firmly curved behind before turning away with burning cheeks.

He jumped into the water, taking a few long strokes before diving and coming back up with his hair soaked. A dark curl hung over his brow, adding a dark note to the smirk.  
“Your face is very red.” He said.  
“It’s hot. The room. The room is very hot.”  
“Are you coming in?”  
“Of course.” 

She removed the belt and the rest of her clothes, looking at the wall far behind him. It was hard to act natural about it and the change in his face did not help. He turned serious and stared with his mouth open once her clothes were off.   
Then he averted his eyes. Perhaps disappointed. There were probably a lot of women around him with perfect bodies, competing for his attention. Maybe he even had private courtesans trained to serve him the best possible way.   
Disgusting.

She took quick strides to the ladder and descended into the water, wincing as it made her frozen limbs thaw and unwire. She floated out on her back, grateful for the practice she had in the sea at Ahch-To.  
His eyes were on her again. She swam to the edge, finding a natural cliff formation under the water to use as a seat. Returning his stare defiantly, she nearly hiccupped. There was no disappointment to find. Quite the opposite.  
“Now is the time to have that talk.” He said and swam towards her.

She crossed her arms, but stayed put.   
He sat down facing her, resting his elbow on the edge.   
“Does my presence bother you?” he asked. His voice was smooth; disturbingly soothing.  
“How am I supposed to answer that?” 

“Your cheeks are dark red.”   
“The water is _very_ hot.” She replied, adding a warning edge to her voice.  
“Now you are even redder.”  
“Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

“You are denying yourself intimacy with others.”  
She raised her eyebrows.  
“So now you are suddenly an expert on people? You don’t know me.”  
“I do.” He said, sounding very serious. “In fact, I might be the only one who knows you.”

Huffing, Rey stroked wet strands of hair from her face.  
“You are unbelievably arrogant.”  
“The force, Rey. We are connected through it, like all beings. But you and me, we _know_ each other through it. You have gazed into a lot of minds, but how many of them actually gazed back?”

“Luke.” She said. “Luke gazed back. So did Maz and… ” The name Leia died on her lips.  
“They are old and they will be gone soon. After that, there will be just us. I will be the only one who can sense your true nature. Your fears…” His eyes strayed from her face, further down. “…and your deepest desires.”

She swallowed with some effort.  
“Where are you going with this?”  
“It’s what happened last night. Absolute intimacy. That is why you ran off, ready to kill me.”  
She shook her head.  
He held his hand out, inviting her to take it. She glared at it.

“Let me show you something.” He said.   
That dark, soft voice again.  
Rey pinched her lips together and lifted her hand. He met her halfway, placing his fingertips against hers. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Lean your brow against mine.”  
“You must be joking!”  
“Trust me, this once.”  
A glint in those dark eyes. Beyond the surface, a mystery.  
Slowly, she leaned her brow against his, acutely aware of being naked.  
His mind opened up to her again, inviting her into a vast, dark terrain. She accepted and stepped inside. The red star closed in, gracing her softly.

Suddenly the concern about her bare skin seemed meaningless. He could _see_ her now.   
Really see her.   
She was vaguely aware of his fingers moving over her hand. As they brushed the center of her palm, there was a small jolt in her stomach, sending a chill all the way up to the top of her head. His fingers froze and repeated the movement. Again, the pleasant chill.  
Going along with the game, she relaxed and opened up so that he would be unprepared for her next move. Whatever he was trying to do, she would drag his foul schemes out in the open. 

The attack on his mind shook her as much as him. His defenses were truly down.   
The ghosts had crept out from every dark corner, creating a vortex around one single image.  
The dark blue jacket.

Ren knelt in the small storage room, clutching it tightly.   
Another scene; Han Solo and a dark haired boy riding his shoulders. Han was running through a forest, the boy screaming and laughing as Han made snorting, animal-like sounds, mimicking a wild beast trying to throw the boy off.   
Leia, her hair dark and her face devoid of pain, was laughing.  
Then the Falcon. Chewbacca lying in the bunk with the boy on his arm while Han was telling a goodnight story. 

The boy’s face was different. He was a little older, his eyes grave as Han and Leia both hugged him tightly. Leia’s cheeks were wet with tears. A ship was waiting to carry him away. Han ruffled the boy’s hair lightly, trying to make a joke. It was the last time they would meet as a family. 

The bridge bathed in blood red light. A thousand years might as well have passed since they said their goodbyes. Now it was final. And every day after that, he hoped to become what his master had promised. Above everything.   
Dead inside.   
No relief came, no definite pull to the darkness. The alienation was worse than ever.   
Except with her. The temptation. The light.

His breath had become unsteady. The hand on hers was trembling and she closed her fingers around it, shutting her eyes tightly as his despair ran through her. Laying the other hand on his cheek, she tried to hold the tears back. They were not hers to cry and it made no sense, this overwhelming sympathy. It did not matter. This sort of loneliness was all too familiar. 

He touched her shoulder, fingers squeezing it lightly. The hand closed around the back of her head, fingers twitching.   
Then she was pushed harshly backwards into the water.  
“I don’t need your pity, scavenger!”  
He was out of the lake and into a towel in the blink of an eye. Rey swam to the ladder and climbed up, wrapping a towel tightly around her.  
“I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have…”  
His gaze was cold and hateful.  
“Get dressed. There is a ship for you to repair.”

He finished dressing faster than her and waited by the entrance until she had packed everything, refusing to lend a hand. She did not ask him for help. Over the years, there had been no one else to rely on and soon a sleigh was sturdily crafted from multiple blankets; perfect for carrying everything back to the camp.  
Any hope of having his strength added to the project was shattered as he cast one resentful glance at her before marching out.

\---

He had been back for some time when she arrived.   
Her education in lifting things with the force had hardly begun and the load had been far too heavy to drag through the snow alone. She had pulled a muscle in her neck, rubbing it carefully as she sat down on the floor, gasping for air.   
“It took you long enough.” He said. “You better start on the ship before dark.”  
Rey glowered but said nothing. 

After gulping down some much needed water, she put the mattresses against the generator to warm them and sat down cross-legged to sort the tools.   
Minutes later he stood over her, casting a dark, menacing shadow.  
“What is taking so long? The sun will only be up for another two hours.”  
“I will need to get the ship inside the hangar to repair it.” She replied, without looking up. “The temperature is not fit for repairing the ship or starting it. Besides, another snowstorm could…”  
The red beam shot out, stopping only inches from her throat. She stopped breathing.  
“I did not ask for your advice.” He said. “Get out and start repairing the ship.”

She rose slowly, keeping an eye on the blade that followed her.  
“You want leverage, don’t you?” She said quietly. “It’s only fair that you should have it.”  
With a deep breath she closed her eyes and went to the darkest corner of her mind; the door cluttered with the most locks. There was a burning sickness in her stomach as she forced the locks off, one by one.   
He growled something sounding like a question, but his voice was too far away to be clearly heard. Then she opened her mind and let him sense it was ready to be entered.

Thousands of marks meticulously scratched into the wall.   
Waking up every day, looking at the sky, hoping that any ship in sight will belong to her family. Slowly realizing that she is all alone.   
Scorching emptiness as the days drag by, making up a lie about them coming back.   
Starvation and thirst. Everyone grabbing what they can. They come for her too. She learns to fight them, to keep them out. To keep everyone out.   
By then, the damage is already done.  
Another mark in the wall. And another. 

Crafting a primitive doll with great care, giving it all her desperate hugs, all her tears as she lay awake at night, perceiving all sounds as possible threats. Knowing she has to stay alive for them. Until they come to bring her home.  
In the end, she is just one of the walking dead on Jakku, a thief, a brute and all that is needed to get the precious drops of water.   
And somewhere inside she knows they will never come back.

A tear escaped and ran down her cheek. The pain was physical, a heavy pressure in the chest. Every breath came with too much effort. Shameful to cry in front of him. If his blade would stab her through the heart now, it would be a relief.

The familiar smattering sound of his lightsaber was gone. She had a small start when his hands cupped her cheeks. Lips pressed against her forehead. The gesture held so much plain tenderness it was impossible to shrug off.   
“Rey.” He whispered.  
She winced.

Meeting her eyes, he laid a hand on her aching shoulder and spoke with the same quiet voice.  
“I will take care of this.”  
The pain was like a flickering flame. It could lean towards the anger and set it on fire, pushing him away and attacking him with all she had. Or she could give him a chance. Once he made it clear he was not to be trusted, she would hold this situation as evidence against him for the rest of her days.

His mind had turned to a warm, painful desperation. The details were vague, but one thing was for certain. His callous shell had been thrown aside and there was human response in him now. Guilt.   
Rey made a nod of consent, too distraught to fight. She would die just to get one soothing gesture. Even from him. 

He arranged the mattresses on top of each other by the generator and sat down, reaching a hand out to her. She took it and sank down with her back turned to him, expecting to feel the warm signature of the force. Touching the soreness, he probed and pressed at it gently, letting his hand slip inside her jacket. She tugged the garment down to her elbows, leaving generous space for his ministrations.

The probing turned to soft, rhythmic movements. There was no usage of the force, only a careful, warm touch intensifying gradually.   
It was fine this way. Better.   
The fingers slid underneath the lining of her shirt, leaving burning prints where they went. They ran over her bare skin with a perfect pressure, taking their time to soften the muscle.  
Rey’s head fell back to his shoulder. Becoming acutely self-conscious she lifted it again. Ren put his hand against her brow and leaned it back down. 

There was a whisper of his need passing through her, followed by a vague light coming from somewhere deep inside.   
She breathed out and reached for the hand holding her upper arm. Their fingers touched and none of them drew back.

Ren’s breath tickled on her throat as the sore shoulder was soothed with the sensitivity only another force user could have managed. She got lost in it, drifting with the new experience.   
Her thoughts kept shaping into dark magnetic eyes, full lips, pale hard arms and shoulders.   
The walls between them were so thin now, the abyss behind his eyes laid vividly clear.

A pair of beautiful green eyes was gazing back at her, shifting with anger, excitement and joy, sparkling with wit as well as wisdom. There was power in them, old as the universe.   
Cheeks rosy from icy winds or too much movement, strands of dark waves loose from the hair on a startlingly pretty girl. 

There was a ravenous hunger for this girl. Her pink lips were slightly opened and he wanted to crush his mouth against them, holding the blushing face firmly between his hands, loosening the three buns in her hair, putting his weight over her and feel her mouth respond with as much passion. 

Her eyelids fluttered open. It could not be. The girl… she did not look like that. But it was her clothes; her eyes. His urge was fueled from touching _her_.   
Rey’s face had never burned this much. There was a pleasant buzz right underneath the skin from where his fingers moved. She kept replaying the memory of him soaked and naked, sitting close to her in the water.   
Not the monster, but the other one. The one who was with her right now.

Something inside was stirring; a need that had been long frozen. The strange explosive feeling was building up again. With Finn there had been lightness, a pure, innocent joy expressed by a flutter in the stomach. This was something else; a heavy tremor shattering heaven and earth.  
His lips graced her ear.  
“Keep your eyes closed.” He said under his breath.

On instinct she opened them, tensing her muscles.  
There were words supposed to come out now, to put him at a distance. The way he looked at her made every rational thought self-destruct.  
His thumb stroked her cheek, trailing slowly down her jaw and neck.  
“You have nothing to be afraid of.” He continued. “I should fear _you_ , from all recent experience.”  
“You should.” She agreed, closing her eyes again.

That thumb on her neck… those chills rising from the bottom of her spine…  
Then his breath was right next to her mouth and she knew what was going to happen.   
The kiss was a chaste one, placed at the corner of her mouth. Still, the pulse threatened to explode in her veins. She tipped her head slightly, just enough to connect her lips with his.  
There was a movement like a rustling draft and suddenly she was on her back at the mattress with hands closed around her head and his warm mouth locked to hers. 

She made a startled sound, but let all doubts go as soon as his tongue licked at hers. The kiss was so indecently wet it made her breathe in gasps.  
The weight over her was whipping up strong jolts in the bottom of her belly. She nestled her fingers into his hair, stroking it, feeling clumsy and inexperienced.   
The kiss was broken and his brow connected with hers. His breathing was heavy and she could hardly extinguish the words coming out with it.  
“Keep your mind locked to mine.”

His mouth was at her throat, tasting and sucking the sensitive skin.  
Something further down sprang to life, a hot quiver making the thin cloth between her legs soaking wet. Her thighs opened up and he slipped between them, his hips pressing against hers. There was no mistaking his arousal as it rested firm and huge on her stomach.  
A whisper of bad memories. 

He kissed her eyelids, hands stroking her cheeks gently. The meaning of the gesture was clear. She sighed and wound her arms around his back, caressing it. The wincing sensation he experienced spread inside her.   
She wanted his mouth again. He responded instantly, sucking at her lips and tongue, dragging her back down into the delirium.

His caresses were everywhere, travelling along her hips and waist, brushing over her nipples and going down along her arms to her legs.   
Rey pressed her hips up against him, the yearning trickling down her thighs. She explored the curves of his shoulders and arms. His heart was beating wildly against her.

With an old wrestling trick she turned him over and landed on top, straddling his crotch.  
He gripped her upper arms, keeping her bent over him. There was a moment’s hesitation before she kissed him deeply, feeling the anxiety dissolve. She was free to control the pace and he played along.

In his mind she searched for the flame that kept his pleasure alive and caught scenes that made her cheeks throb.  
He wanted a lot of things; more than she was comfortable watching.   
But the memories flowing from her forbidden door was a bleeding gash. His need was so welcome, so much a reflection of hers. 

The kiss became fiercer. The moment her sex brushed against his, she let out a strange sounding moan.   
Her first rolling movements were soft and careful, but as his arms came up around her, holding her head steady to tongue-kiss her ear, she rode him quicker. Her breath came fast and fiery. He moved with her, holding her arms harder and lifting his head to look at her more closely.

A mounting pressure was pushing to be let out and she was balancing on its edge, aware of nothing but the hard and wet sensation, how widely her legs were spread and his ragged breathing.  
Then his hand closed around her breast, pressing against the rigid nipple. With a dizzying suction her sex started to twitch and pulsate, throwing her into ecstatic oversensitivity. It intensified to a point of being near insufferable. She kept riding him while her thighs clenched and trembled against his hips, vaguely aware of the loud sounds coming out of her mouth. 

Every nerve vibrated from the aftershock as she collapsed over him, holding on to the slowly waning climax until it became a soft haze.  
He held her close, his lips pressing against her cheeks, mouth and neck as she laid panting and shaking.  
Her skin was damp and hot; her head a mess. As he pressed a hand to the small of her back, another wet kiss in her ear was followed by a strained whisper.  
“My turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: First Time. ;-)


	4. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone! I hope your Christmas has been a great one. <3  
> Also, I am sending my deep condolences for the loss we Star Wars fans recently had, sending Kylo's mother to the other side. May she rest in peace and may the memory of her linger for a very long time. <3
> 
> I had time to publish one more chapter before New Year's Eve and I guess the title says most of it.  
> If smut isn't your thing, this just isn't your chapter. :-)
> 
> Again, a huge thank you for showing your appreciation! I love being able to communicate with my readers, so I apologize if the answers sometime become long as a novel. A happy new year to you and the chapter is on, with a wink to reader Patty. ;-)
> 
> May the Force be with You. Always.

He rolled them over and caught both her hands in his.  
It was a good call. Her defense mechanisms might have taken over and at this moment, she found herself unable to make a rational decision. All thoughts had melted into a lecherous buzz.  
Slowly, her hands were pressed down on each side of her head.  
The black eyes searched hers. 

She hesitated and gulped before giving him a short nod.  
His lips again, gracing hers. Then kissing her with a frightening intensity.  
There was a vague reservation springing to life somewhere. It was not strong enough.  
His hands slid along her arms, down to her shoulders. It seemed he knew just how to touch her; how to find her most sensitive spots. 

She caught his wrist the moment his hand slid under her shirt.  
“No!”  
The hand drew back and stroked over the cloth reassuringly. A knee was nudging at her thighs, asking for more space. Her legs parted. Feeling him on her intimate parts stirred the hunger to life once more. Her small knob pulsated as he thrusted against it.  
His heavy, searing arousal was contagious. Suddenly her legs were wound around his back, her body moving in his rhythm as he worked faster, gasping louder. 

She buried her hands in his thick dark hair and could not help but to kiss his throat and jaw, loving how the drops from his strain fell from his forehead to her face. The salt on his skin tasted of a stormy sea. He gripped her hips, his fingers boring into her thighs. Then, with a few harsh thrusts, he cried out. His entire body tensed. The warm wetness from his climax leaked through the fabrics to blend with her moisture. 

She was not finished. The explosion was on its way again and she rubbed against him until it erupted into something stronger than the first time, a mind blowing ecstasy that knocked her out completely.

Sometime later she became aware of being entangled with his larger body, feeling the unsteady breath next to her ear. He was pressing against her as if he tried to get underneath her skin. She held him harder and drifted away again.  
It was getting colder. He pulled the sleeping bag over them. Sighing, she kissed him and sank back into a perfect tranquility.  
___

Rey could not remember ever sleeping this deeply. She woke up with a heavy head, warm and comfortable. The mattress was so soft. The smell of him still lingered close. Her hand searched the bed. Then she opened her eyes.  
He was no longer lying next to her. 

She was neatly packed into the sleeping bag with several blankets on top, keeping the cool air out. There was even a pillow tucked under her head. He must have taken it from the sleigh.  
How had she remained sleeping while he moved her around?

The soft contentment inside lasted only for seconds before a wave of anguish rose, carrying an image of Finn on its crest.  
She curled up, holding her stomach.  
“I’m sorry.” She whispered.  
Should she ever tell Finn about this? Would he understand the extent of the weakened state she had been in, the deep recognition that had been shared at that moment? Maybe it was best never to mention it. But it would mean living with a sickening lie.

His footsteps came closer.  
A weight on the mattress. A hand touched her head, carefully stroking her brow.  
“There is food for you.” He whispered.  
The timber of his voice was different. A note of familiarity.  
She nodded without turning around, not sure she was ready to meet his gaze.

He lingered for a moment before rising and walking away.  
No use avoiding this.  
Rey peeled the layers of blankets away and rose to find her jacket and boots fastened to the generator along with a set of fresh clothes. The warm garments were applied underneath a blanket. Although he had seen her completely bare, she was even less comfortable with it now. 

Ren had cleared a table for them in the computer hall, putting food and drink on it along with an emergency lantern. The lights were out, save for the lantern bringing a warm, soft light to the scene. He sat at one end of the small table, gesturing to the opposite side.  
“Sit.”  
She frowned.  
“The lantern is emergency equipment.” She said. “Why is it lit? The generator is still working.”

He stared blankly at her. Then he sighed impatiently.  
“Would you just sit?”  
“You’re playing with the equipment.”  
“Just…sit…down.”  
“We might need them later.” She continued, but went to the chair arranged for her. “What if the generator dies?”  
“You brought five more lanterns. I am sure we’ll manage and have some to spare for the monsters outside.”

“Have you no survival instincts at all? You’re wasting it for nothing.” She argued. “Why not use the light in the walls?”  
He smacked a palm to the table with a loud bang that made her jump.  
“It’s supposed to make you relax!”  
“Now I’m really relaxed.” She muttered.  
He seemed to fight with himself. Then he took the fork and lifted a piece of meat with it. It was a gesture that would have looked civilized and graceful if anyone else had done it. In his hands, the fork felt more like a potential weapon. 

The first minutes of the meal floated by in silence. He looked at her a lot. Enough to make her forget how to breathe every now and then.  
She kept her eyes fixed on the food as the hot stew melted on her tongue. He had obviously used the ration heater she brought. Looking over at the homemade sleigh, she noticed that most things were unpacked. The tools she had spread out on the floor all lay on a table, exactly the way she had arranged them.  
The annoyance melted away. It was quite relaxing having the lights lowered. Cozy.

“Tell me about your training.” He said. “What have you learned?”  
She smiled despite herself.  
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”  
“I would.”  
The intense gaze again.  
She looked up.

“Why don’t we trade information?” She said. “You tell me something you have learned and I give you information about my education that matches yours.”  
He was hard to read. She caught a vague notion. Hunger.  
He put the fork down.  
“I have learned that the force has no such thing as subjectivity.” He said. “It is simply there, to be used for the gain of anyone who can wield it.”  
She reflected upon it for a moment. 

“I have learned” she countered, “that only an unbalanced mind let its destructive emotions guide its actions.”  
“Only a coward would leave the power of passion unexplored.”  
“Are you still playing?”  
His eyes narrowed.  
“I know how to tap into unlimited power.”  
She raised an eyebrow.

“I know how to find absolute peace.”  
“So where is it now? This peace of yours?”  
Not close. He was like an itch, impossible to reach.  
“It’s here.” She said, shrugging. “Whenever I need it.”  
He put his elbows on the table, leaning towards her.

“I have learned to see into people’s minds, to know their weaknesses and how they could defeat them if they only dared to confront them.”  
“I have learned that you have a conscience greater than you would dare to admit.”  
“Your fear of intimacy will destroy you.”  
She huffed.

“You are being overly dramatic!”  
“I am the one being dramatic? Every time I go to bed with you in that sleeping bag, you end it with a furious lightsaber duel.”  
“And whose fault is that?”  
“I am not starting it!”  
“You brought me here!”  
“And you want something you cannot admit!” 

She let out a cry of frustration and scuffed the chair backwards, rising and slamming her fist to the table.  
“Good!” He said. “Show your anger. You are always at your strongest like this.”  
She glared at him, heaving and speechless. Closing her eyes, she fought to regain balance.  
“Did I upset you?” he continued. “Are you telling yourself that nothing happened because our clothes were on? It did. And you liked it.”

The lightsaber was ready and lit in her hand before she could reflect on the action. Raising it, she expected his weapon to meet hers.  
He sat absolutely still, giving her a knowing look.  
She drew a shallow breath and shut the weapon down, her hands trembling.  
He rose and went around the table towards her. Not moving an inch, she shook her head in warning.

“Don’t touch me.”  
He stopped in front of her, close enough to lean over and kiss her if she had allowed it.  
“I want you, Rey.”  
“What?!”  
“I want you _naked_ , without reservations. No games. Just you and me.”  
She took a step back.  
“Is this all it takes to frighten you?” he said. “You, the gifted apprentice of Luke Skywalker? Are you about to lie to me again, telling me you don’t want it?”

“Do you know what I want?” She said quietly. “I want you to prove to me that there is someone inside you that I can trust. Not Kylo Ren, but he one missing his father.”  
A silent thunderbolt struck the room. The black irises flashed.

He grabbed her wrist and she took advantage of it, gripping his arm and sending him flying over her shoulder. His grip did not loosen as expected and she fell with him as he landed hard on the floor.  
She aimed her fist at his face repeatedly, but he blocked her every attempt, catching that wrist too.

The fight escalated into full fury. All efforts to wrench free were only brief successes. He was as skilled in catching her as she was snaking out of his locks. Endurance had always been her greatest feat, but his strength did not fade from any of her attacks, not even when she bit his hand bloody. 

He just growled like a wild animal and nailed her to the floor on her back, put his weight over her and bit her neck. She cried out, locking his legs with her own, ready to throw him off once more.  
The hard sucking on her skin made her freeze in the middle of the maneuver. She tried to push again. Her legs had not moved. It was her hips rising and pushing, bending her back in an arch against him. He was hard. She licked the salty crimson on her lips, trying to withstand the rapture.  
His lips brushed her ear.  
“You like the taste of my blood, Rey? I love the taste of yours.”

She turned her head and bit his lower lip. The sound he made had her stomach twist in surging spasms. He bit back, engaging their tongues in a wrestling match. Her blood blended with his. Then her wrists were pinned over her head and she pressed harder against him, paying attention to every move his mouth made, going down her neck and over her chest. 

There was a new explosive experience as he caught her nipple beneath the open jacket and sucked at it through the clothes, leaving a wet spot sticking pleasantly to the skin. She gasped and whimpered loudly, keeping her hands fixed as he released them and went lower.  
The kisses tracing down her stomach soaked her underwear and left it plastered against her sex. 

The moment his mouth found it she grabbed his hair, in agony of what to do. At first there was a hot breath, then lips playing softly on the thick fabric of her pants. Her grip lost all strength. It came back when the sucking began, his tongue pressing to her most sensitive spot. Behind the cloth, she opened up for him, vibrating and ready. Hands closed around her butt, squeezing the cheeks hard.

His teeth jerked her pants open and then there was only a thin piece of cloth between them. The mouth was on that spot again, kissing and playing with it as if it was an edible thing.  
She gasped, finding more strength in her hips than expected, pushing and grinding against him. 

Her fingers hooked around the cloth and pulled it aside. His tongue touched bare skin, right on that spot.  
The convulsions started without warning. She screamed, wringed between his hands and mouth in a disintegrating rush, throwing her into complete madness.  
It came in strong ripples, crashing out of her like waves in a storm. It would not stop. _He_ would not stop.

The loss of control was profound. In this moment, there was nothing else. This was life in its purest form.  
“Kylo...!” She breathed, loosening the hard grip in his hair and stroking her fingertips against his scalp.  
She was wincing and shivering, the pleasure fading but not dying. When his mouth let her go, she whimpered in disappointment.

Grabbing the cloth of her jacket, he dragged her down underneath him, holding her head firmly, breathing against her mouth. He was on the verge of saying something, but kissed her instead. She responded eagerly, unable to get her tongue in deep enough. The size of his body against hers- to drown in his embrace- was wickedly satisfying. 

He ended the kiss slowly, meeting her eyes.  
There was no need for words. The question was obvious.  
Embracing him with arms and legs, she kissed his cheek, then his ear.  
“Don’t make me regret it.” She whispered.  
He let his breath out, giving her such an affectionate kiss on the cheek that all reservations melted.

She was lifted the way she laid, clinging to him. On the way back to the generator he snagged the emergency lantern.  
Her body was in an unknown state. A thousand thoughts passed by before they reached the mattress. The Resistance. Finn. The dark, haunting eyes and what she had seen behind them. All limbs felt so heavy and relaxed, as if she was drugged. She turned away from everything except the yearning to look into those eyes again. 

He put her down among a soft mess of blankets, scuffing the sleeping bag and pillow aside.  
Then they were both kneeling on the mattress, facing each other.  
He had been right to get rid of all lights except the lantern. Now they were floating on a dark sea, alone on their own personal raft. 

His thumb brushed against her mouth. She kissed it. Slowly, his hands moved to undo her belt.  
She swallowed a reflex to stop him and reached for his belt. He leaned in closer, covering the sore spot on her throat with kisses.  
The alluring dizziness returned. 

Layer after layer of their clothes fell away. They helped each other with the last garments. Rey had to keep her mouth locked to his when it happened. Being naked here was different. They were not going for a swim and it took all she had to control the rising anxiety. He made it easy for her, his hands ghosting over her body with greater care than she thought possible. 

Their hands met. Fingertips touched. Then his fingers slid between hers, knitting them together.  
He looked different in the dark. His mouth half open, his eyes lowered, making a quick glance into hers every now and then.  
Human.

Then an arm snuck around her waist. He drew them together, skin against skin, and tipped them down until he was over her on the mattress. Again, a wave of dizziness.  
His caresses got bolder. Palms stroked her nipples, making her gasp as it was felt between her legs as much.  
She felt something else too. He was hard and huge against her thigh. That could hurt.

With a racing heart she moved her hand down to feel it, only daring to stroke it lightly. There was a sound of approval from his throat and the thing in her hand made small twitching throbs. She gasped quietly as his fingers came down between her thighs, the strokes throwing her into a mad fever. He was watching her closely, openly revealing his own pleasure as their caresses continued. 

A thumb brushing her cheek. A deep kiss.  
Then the tip of his finger probed and pushed carefully, sliding in only a little. It was enough to fill the entrance and the pleasure of it forced high pitched moans out of her. The finger was pressing against something that set everything on fire, sliding further inside before going out and then repeating the movement.  
“You are so tight.” He breathed against her ear, placing a kiss just behind it. “I should prepare you first.”

There were no words to answer him with. This sort of arousal was something new; something that made her body yield to his every whim. She stroked him more intensely and looked down in time to see him put another finger into use.  
She shut her eyes tightly as both fingers entered her, breathing in shallow gasps. His reassuring kisses and the hand possessively holding her breast made everything spin. She was overflowing, creating a wet stain underneath them.

The fingers pressed all the way inside, making her hips snap up against him.  
Gasping, he drew out and took hold of her wrist to make her direct the tip of his sex towards her wet mouth. Her hand would not move.  
He let go and lifted her to sit in his lap, her legs still widely spread. She embraced him hard. The inner struggle lasted only for seconds. Then her body made the decision.  
“I’ll do it.” She whispered. 

Hips rising, she held his erection while slowly sinking down.  
They both gasped as the head pressed past the lips and nudged against a tight passage.  
Rey trembled as the tears spilled over. Her world was coming apart and everything rushed forth; the old skeletons of fear and annihilation.  
He held her cheeks, brushing the tears away as they came. 

“Rey…”  
“No. Let me do it.”  
It was partly painful, stretching and filling her as she sank further down, burying her face in his neck. He held her tightly, stroking her head and back while shivering and panting. Sensing his overwhelming pleasure brought hers back. She lifted her head to look at him; to be reminded of his features; his firm body and the magnetic fire in his eyes. 

She received him until there was no more room and felt the inner walls clench around the invasion, causing him to twitch and grow even more.  
The naked craving was unexpected. Her stomach surged as his gaze became invasive and hungry. She burned.  
As her back hit the mattress and his damp body landed over hers, there was a sense of completeness and triumph that she had never before felt. 

This was _her_ will; _her_ desire.  
She laid her hands at the side of her head and he grabbed them, entwining their fingers as he pressed down, biting her earlobe and sucking at her throat while his thrusts came slowly at first; then faster, with more resolve.  
Every thrust made her scream aloud from everything but the pain. She could sense how fast his pleasure was mounting; to a point where it became agonizing to hold back.

His eyes were nailed to her. She had to avert her eyes every now and then not to vaporize into smoke. She caught his mouth at every opportunity, driven by a senseless starvation.  
“Do it!” she heard herself gasp. “Please… do it!”  
His breathing came faster and his head was lowered enough to make their lips nearly touch.  
Again, the salty drops on her skin. She tried to catch them with her tongue.

“Did you just beg for it?”  
She met his eyes, seeing the opportunity of the dark game driving him nearly crazy. Odd to hold such power over him.  
“Yes!” She gasped, as his thrusts came faster. “I want it!”  
“Again.”  
Her mind was swept clean as the grip on her hands tightened and his hot breath were on her throat.  
“Please! Do it!”

He drew out of her and grinded fiercely against her belly, releasing her hands. He came loudly the moment she closed her hand around him. Her stomach was soaking wet within seconds.  
There was a moment of deep rooted vulnerability. He must have felt it.  
Ignoring the rich body fluids, he embraced her tightly. They united in a long, deep kiss. All new sensations were whirling in her head.  
So this was what all the fuzz was about. 

Warm affection rolled from her stomach, caused by his considerate withdrawal from her. She had not given the possible consequences of this a second thought.  
“Stay.” She whispered. “While I sleep.”  
“I will.”

Slipping into the sleeping bag, they lay close together. Rey rested on his arm, burying her face in his chest; breathing him in. He was loosening the ribbons in her hair. She loved how the large hand worked with such great care, brushing through her hair as the buns came out.  
She had done it. She had conquered her deepest fear.

\---

Waking up with his kiss was impossibly good.  
It was on her brow at first, but as she showed signs of life, there was a wet meeting of tongues.  
He had a hand in her hair, caressing her scalp. She ran her fingers over the shape of his strong back, paying special attention to her favorite area; the shoulders. 

His thumb came up to play with her nipple. Sighing, she closed her eyes and made content sounds. Fresh moisture clung to her sex.  
They probably needed to have a talk about what had happened, but surely it could wait a little longer.  
When her other hand traveled down his abdomen he mirrored her move, reaching her lower belly as she reached his.

Then his palm pressed against her small knot and the fingers slipped into the warm wetness.  
She eased into it, feeling how his desire came to life in her hands.  
He went about it slowly, watching her as she started to writhe and gasp, rolling her hips against his hand. This was new. And incredibly, dangerously addictive.  
“Kylo… I…!”

The ecstatic spasms came around his fingers, adding to an explosion against his palm. He held her chin, making sure her face was fully visible. It went on longer than expected, one wave dying and another stronger one taking its place.  
This had to be the best thing her body had ever felt.  
All defenses were down. Her joints fell flat to the mattress, as if there were no bones inside to support them.

Catching her breath while his hands and mouth explored her, an idea sprang to life.  
His yearning to get release still hung between them. Could she make him feel what she had when he…?  
Connecting with his mind, she tried to send the image, unsure of how to formulate the question.  
He caught her face in his hands and stared. Then he nodded. Rey thought she saw a blush on his face before worming further down the sleeping bag. 

He was obscenely hard and ready. The connection between them was open, giving her guidance. She took it and licked at its tip. His reaction was so strong she decided to go with it for a while before taking it into her mouth. The hands in her hair became very active, either clenching or pushing her closer. There was no way she could fit all of it inside, but rubbing the root gently while tasting the rest with long strokes seemed to do more than well. 

It was so good hearing his loud gasps, driving him to the edge where he held her head firmly in his hands, trying to push her away. She did not move. His pleasure came gushing into her and she kept struggling to hold still, taking it all in. It had a strange, slippery taste. There was a lot of it. 

“Mmmm…!” She moaned, before releasing him, content with his trembling and heavy breathing.  
He rolled over on his back and she climbed on top and straddled him, resting her head on his shoulder.  
“Did you like that?” She whispered, smiling as she knew the answer. 

“You will be the death of me.” He said, putting his arms around her.  
“I probably will.”  
He stiffened.  
“You still want to kill me?”  
She looked up at him, frowning.  
“Not really. So you better behave.”

He touched her cheek. The look she got was very serious.  
Reflecting herself in him brought up a startling realization.  
Whenever she met him, she was not a grey, starved little girl from Jakku without roots. To him she was Rey, the Heir of the Force and a powerful warrior, someone he viewed as a dangerous opponent; an equal. 

She ran her fingers through his hair.  
“We will need to get the ship inside.” She said, sighing. “It will take days, separating all the parts.”  
“No need for that. We will use the force.”  
“I can’t lift a ship. Don’t tell me you know how to do it.”  
He smirked.  
“I can if you assist me.” He replied, kissing the tip of her nose. “I told you, you need a teacher.”

It was hard to hide the excitement.  
“To what price?”  
“You do as I say.”  
“Only when it comes to the tutoring.”  
He smiled.

“I’m hungry.” She said, rising reluctantly.  
He pulled her back down and held her, kissing her everywhere he could reach. She laughed and tried to get out of his grip.  
She could not remember the last time she laughed.  
Who was he? Not the one she had woken up to find on the ship.

Finally free, she dressed and went to get food for both of them.  
The air had become warmer. Soon there would be no need to use jackets inside.  
The food packages had stamps in the Aurebesh language, describing its contents. This one had meat from some exotic bird in a berry sauce. Finn’s favorite course.  
The minutes it took to warm the food were spent in silent struggle. 

She visualized Finn’s smile and the feeling of his hand against hers. Had she ever reacted to him the way she reacted to Kylo Ren?  
No. Then again, had she given him a chance?  
She had learned a lot these past few days. And now she had gotten so caught up in this strange fever, she had nearly forgotten there was a life outside these walls.

They were together, her and Finn, were they not? Everybody seemed to think so.  
Leia referred to Finn as Rey’s boyfriend. Poe called her ‘girlfriend’, meaning Finn’s love interest. They were a thing.  
And Finn had gone so far and been so brave just to do what he knew was right.  
Here she was, thanking him by sleeping with their worst enemy, failing to hold on to the simplest and most fundamental principle. 

Returning with the meal, she was certain Kylo could sense the change. He had put on his black shirt and trousers. It was hard to read him. They ate and drank together in silence.  
Rey finished the meal quickly. He had finished about half of his food when he put the box away, boring his eyes into her.  
“I could finish the job, you know.”

She blinked slowly.  
“What?”  
“The defecting soldier. I brought him near death once. I could finish the job.”  
Rey was on her feet fast, the water bottle bouncing off her lap.  
“If you touch Finn I _will_ end you!”  
“Finn! It’s just a made up name! He does not even have one!”  
“And _your_ name was given to you from birth? Kylo Ren?”  
“It is completely different!”

He was breathing heavier, the fury making his eyes pitch black.  
“You have no right to point any fingers!” She said. “As soon as you’re out of here you’ll return to your concubines or slaves or whatever you call them! This will all have been a game to you!”  
“My _what?_ ”  
“Don’t deny it! No one can know the things you do without certain experience!”  
There was a strange pause.

“There are no concubines.”  
She shook her head. He walked up to her and grabbed her upper arms. She stood rigid, ready to push him away.  
“Listen to me.” He said. “There are no whores in my rooms or at any other place where I dwell. I do not visit them on the streets or in their houses.”  
“But there is _someone!_ ”  
“ _No!_ ”

He cupped her cheeks, holding her head in a steady grip.  
“ _You_ on the other hand,” he hissed, “have something you need to deal with. Or I will.”  
“You will not deal with anything!”  
He leaned closer, speaking next to her ear.  
“Does he make you feel the things you feel with me?”

The blood rushed to her face.  
“Does he _know_ you, the way I know you?”  
“That’s enough!”  
She broke free from him and backed away. Part of it was self-preservation. The hands on her face and his voice made her thirst for other things than fighting.

“Don’t ever threaten Finn again.”  
“Then don’t ever think about him again.”  
“You do not get to control my thoughts!”  
In the blink of an eye his lightsaber was lit. He vandalized an old shelf with brutal cuts, slashing its metal skeleton to pieces.  
Rey leaned against the wall with a sigh. 

Seconds later he stopped, heaving and turning to her.  
“What?” She said. “Do you think I don’t care? I have no idea what I am doing!”  
He deactivated the weapon.  
“I did not plan for this.” She continued. “I did not want this and now I don’t know why I want it! I shouldn’t even be thinking…”  
With a few quick strides he was close to her, holding her face again.  
“But you want it?” He whispered. “You do think about it?”

She closed her eyes.  
“This is wrong.”  
“It’s the opposite of wrong.”  
“Where would this lead?”  
“You could come with me. Be my consort. In time, when I rise as the new emperor, you could rule with me.”  
She opened her eyes and searched his face. It took seconds before she could speak.

“Are you asking me to betray my friends?”  
“I would not ask you to fight them.”  
“Then what? Would I just live as your slave?”  
He kissed her brow.  
“You could be my slave if you like. I would be good to you. Keep you satisfied.”

The heat spread from her face and down through her stomach.  
“You don’t really think I would agree to that?”  
“Not all the time.” The thumbs stroked her cheeks. “Only when we were alone, in our private bedroom…”  
“Have you had slaves before?”  
The words were a ladder to enter his mind. She needed to know; as much as he needed to know about Finn. 

The result was more shocking that she could have imagined.  
Rey touched his face before letting the hand slide down to press against his heart.  
“I…was your first?”  
The color came quickly to his face. He pinched his lips together.  
“You could have told me.” She said softly. “You seemed so very…experienced.”  
“Would you have trusted me if I had?” he snapped.

“I’m sorry. About the prostitute accusations.”  
“It’s only because no one has been worthy of the attention.”  
“Right.”  
“Until now.” He placed a light kiss on her lips, causing her stomach to clench and purl.  
“We should…prepare to get the ship inside.” She murmured.  
“We will.” Another kiss. “I will start training you right away. Then we will lift it together.”

He took her hand and she followed him to the other side of the hangar. There they stopped in front of a tall metal cabinet.  
“We will start here.”  
“I will not meddle with the dark side of the force.” She said. “I am training to become a Jedi.”  
“That will be entirely up to you. Sit.”

She sat down on the floor facing the cabinet, cross-legged with a straight back, the way Luke had shown her.  
“Good. Wait here.”  
He walked out of sight and came back within a minute, squatting behind her back.  
“Your sight can deceive you.” He said.  
A black piece of cloth was held in front of her eyes. She swallowed.

“You have trained blindfolded before, haven’t you?”  
“Yes.”  
He placed the cloth over her eyes and tied it neatly into place. Then his hands were on her shoulders and his mouth brushed against her ear.  
“This is how we do it. You follow my instructions exactly. If you succeed, you get a reward.” There was a soft caress on her neck, making her wince. “If you make a mistake, _I_ get a reward. Are you ready?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning; the smut has not ended. At all.


	5. Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, dear Reylos!
> 
> I hope this year will be overflowing with juicy Reylo-material. I intend to leave my contribution to it by posting new chapters. Hopefully, we will have some happy reylo-moments in the new movie as well. And if we don't get them in clear text, we know how to make them appear anyway, right? ;-)  
> Gals and guys, you are spoiling me rotten with your many kudos and kind comments! I know I am repeating myself, but I am very grateful and will make an effort to do this story right.
> 
> But right now, in another galaxy far, far away, Rey is getting lectures in great detail... for further reference, see the image on my tumblr-page. ;-)
> 
> May the force be with you. Always.

His instructions were simple: Lift the metal cabinet.  
The blindfold, he said, was to prevent her from concentrating on its shape. Instead, its energy had to be felt and manipulated.  
Focusing had never been this hard.  
Even though he was not touching her, the sound of his dark, commanding voice was a lot more interesting to listen to than his words.

“The cabinet is only the sum of billions of weightless particles.” He said. “The idea of weight is an illusion. You need to study each one of these particles until you see that they connect with everything in the force. Then you see that your will…”  
“…is the will of the force.” Rey finished.  
“That was not what I was going to say. Focus.”

“Then you see that your will can be used to _bend_ these particles.” He continued. “They are lighter than feathers. Lift them.”  
Rey fought to give the cabinet undivided attention. Shutting his presence out was like trying to ignore a stampede of happabores. Breathing deeply and slowly, visualizing the force moving through her with the air, she emptied her mind. 

There was nothing but a galaxy of shining particles, dancing in unison. It was beyond beautiful. A few tiny grains of them were disguised as the cabinet, vibrating in response as she reached for them. Each one answered her as she tuned in on them. Getting lost in this sea of micro-stars was tickling and hypnotizing.  
A hand on the nape of her neck brought her back.  
“I said lift it, not socialize with it. That means a reward for me.”

“Patience.” She said.  
His voice was next to her ear.  
“You could do this a lot faster, you know. If you would dare to use what you used in the forest that day.”  
There was no need for an explanation. The anger she had felt when striking him down and giving him that scar had fueled her powers to an unfathomable degree.

“I told you. I am a Jedi in training.”  
“Then give me results, little Jedi. Lift it.”  
“Can’t I start with something smaller?”  
“No. I told you, size is irrelevant.”  
She sighed and resumed focusing on the cabinet.

Time passed. The particles danced but would not be moved. At most, she thought she heard the cabinet tremble.  
“Convince yourself it is smaller.” He said. “Then lift it as if it was a Corellian apple.”  
Smaller. These particles vibrated throughout the universe. She could connect to them and lift the cabinet with a giant hand.

With renewed resolve, she drew particles towards her like a magnet, making them extensions of herself. There was absence of heat where the particles once were. Then she sent her borrowed energy to the cabinet, wrapping it in her will.  
“Up.” She mouthed.  
She did not need to see it. There was only a small noise, but she knew.

“Very good.” He said. “Now, move it a few steps to the side and set it down, carefully.”  
The cabinet was as clear as the room. It floated smoothly to the side, scraping only briefly against the wall before being lowered.

His kiss was on her neck. An ear-deafening noise confirmed that the cabinet was once again on the floor.  
“Kylo!”  
“I did not mean to.” Another kiss on her neck. “I had no idea I could distract you this much.”  
His arms came around her waist. Rey bit her tongue and tried to calm her breathing.  
“But since I can” he continued in the same soft voice, “we better train you to be more resilient. You cannot be distracted like this in battle.”  
“This is not likely to happen in battle.” 

“It could. Some dark clad commander might take you prisoner and try to distract you from using the force.”  
Her lips twisted into a wry smile.  
“Then I would distract this ‘commander’ back, so that he forgot his mission.”  
“You already do.”  
She started to tear at the blindfold. He took her wrists.  
“No. Keep it on.”

He bit the nape of her neck lightly, sending a chill down her spine.  
“You should have a reward as promised.” He said. “But I will have mine first.”  
The kisses landed on her neck and shoulder, making the room spin.  
She turned her head and kissed him. Having her sight removed made it all the easier to sense his thirst. Her cheeks were throbbing.

Still holding her wrists, he guided them slowly behind her back.  
“Let me tie your hands.”  
“What? Why?”  
“We should train you. For a situation when this dark commander imprisons you.”  
“That is the strangest training I ever heard of.”  
“Your ears are bright red.” He kissed the tip of her earlobe. “I think you won’t mind.”

Any rational thought would be welcome. As it were, none would surface.  
In desperation, she tried to imagine Luke’s face, giving her a judgmental look.  
“Don’t do that.” He whispered. “If you want me to let you go, just tell me.”  
Curse him.  
“What are you going to do?” She whispered back.  
He was making out with her neck again. 

“I will just keep your hands like this. You will be able to free yourself- if you wish.”  
A strong shiver ran through her.  
“If I tell you to stop, you stop. At once.”  
“Of course.”  
A reassuring kiss on the cheek.

Soft cloth was carefully wrapped around her wrists. While he tied them together, she kept her head pressed back to his chest, melting into his game. Her other life seemed so distant; almost imaginary.  
Holding her waist he led her to straddle his lap, still with her back against him.  
“I would like to find out,” he whispered, “How to best distract you.”

The hands went down her arms at first. Then one slid over the waist and caressed her belly, closing in on the lining of the trousers. The other hand wandered up, tracing the key bones before going lower, stroking her breasts.  
She was lost; trembling and overheated.  
His mouth kept kissing and biting her neck. Small sounds came out with her breath.

When the hand snuck beneath the trousers she let out a loud gasp, trying to spread her legs wider. The other hand was pulling at her nipple too softly.  
“Harder!” She breathed.  
His lips moved close against her ear. Her breast was released and the hand came up to hold her chin instead.  
“Are you paying attention to the cabinet, Rey?”  
“No!” 

“What did I instruct you to do?”  
“I don’t know! Please! Just…!”  
To her dismay, the finger between her thighs remained at the opening, pressing at it, but not trying to get inside. She moved her hips, blatantly demonstrating her will, but he would not cooperate.  
“Kylo!”

“I like it when you say my name. Say it again.”  
Her sex made several quick contractions against his finger. There was a wave of contentment from him, a dark flame flaring up enough to make him tremble.  
“Kylo…” She gasped.  
“I could take you right now.” He said under his breath. “You are so ready for it.”

She leaned her head back to his shoulder in defeat, breathing heavily.  
He let go of her chin and payed attention to her breasts again, playing a little rougher this time. The other hand still would not move. She was dripping, trying to rub against it, but he kept moving it so that she only had a soft pressure and nothing more.  
Then he bit her neck and sucked at it hard, sending her into a free fall. 

A pinnacle came, making her sex cramp and clench against nothing, having her attention scattered in all directions, from his mouth to his hand to the other hand, to the hard crotch against her buttocks.  
It had settled only a little when she gathered the focus she had left to undo the knot behind her back.

She wrenched free and turned towards him, straddling him once more while fumbling to unbutton his pants.  
“Get them off!” She ordered. “I mean it!”  
He was out of them fast, grabbing her waist. She kicked her own trousers off and caught his mouth in a fierce kiss.

When he pushed inside, she pushed back, only satisfied when he filled her up completely. She moved furiously, arms around his neck and hands in his hair. No more than seconds passed before he lifted her off, unable to delay his release.  
She pressed her sex against his and rode it, feeling her own climax closing in.  
The moment he spilled over, she let go as well. The wall between their minds crumbled. Their pleasures blended and exalted each other until it became unbearable. 

Next thing she knew, they lay tightly entangled on the floor, trying to get their breathing to slow down. Her legs were trembling uncontrollably. He was holding her as if he wanted to make sure she could not escape. Turning her face up to his, she realized that the blindfold was still on.  
She pulled it off and met his eyes.

The deep red color in his face surprised her, but not as much as the vulnerability. It was as if a mask had been peeled off, revealing an irresistibly warm gaze, equally filled with awe and desire.  
She took his head in her hands, giving him several soft kisses. He put his hand over hers, kissing her back.

“You are full of surprises.” She said, trying to suppress a grin.  
“So are you.”  
“Is this how you train people?”  
“Just you.” He slid his fingers between hers. “I could teach you a lot of things. If you came with me, we could train your focus better in my bedroom. We would have to pretend you were my prisoner again, of course. I would have to tie you up properly…”

Her ears gave off too much heat.  
“Is there even one decent thought in your head?”  
“Not in your presence.”  
“Why don’t _you_ come back with _me_?”  
The words just appeared without any conscious thought behind them. She felt as surprised as he looked.

Then he leaned her head against his neck, placing his chin on top of her head.  
“You know it is too late for that.”  
“Leia would be so relieved if you did.”  
“I doubt that very much.”  
“She still cares about you.”  
“Don’t talk about her.”

Rey sighed and kissed his neck.  
“When was the last time you took time to meditate?”  
“I meditate a lot.”  
“And? Are you at peace when you do?”  
He snorted.  
“I don’t need peace to attain my goals. I need motivation. Passion.”  
“I see.”

She rose, supporting herself on an elbow, tracing her fingers slowly over his face.  
“Would you even want me to come with you?” He asked.  
She hesitated.  
“I think so.”  
“And the others? The defector? Would you fall into his arms the moment you were back?”  
“You spend way too much time thinking about him.”

He rose on an elbow as well, glowering down at her.  
“I spend too much time thinking about _you_. If you could spend a little more time thinking about…”  
“That’s all I do!”  
She sat up, swiping her hands out.

“Ever since we got here, everything has been about you!” She exclaimed. “Your glances, your silly outbursts, how you show off in that shirt and in that… lake, trying to stop me from getting even one sensible thought through my head! And now this!”  
His hand snuck behind her head, nestling into her hair.  
“You like this shirt?”  
“No!”  
“Would you like me to take it off?”

She tried to form coherent words for seconds.  
His lips closed in. Just before he could reach her mouth, she turned her head and shoved the hand in her hair away. Then she rose, glaring.  
“Whatever this is, you will give me the time I need to figure it out.” She said. “Until then you can do what you like. Just don’t bother me!”

Rey marched to the mattress and sat down, wrapping a blanket around her body.  
The anger was eating away at her, but it was not really directed at him.  
Her behavior the last days had been abysmal. It was as if a crazy drug had gotten into the bloodstream and altered her entire emotional life. Even now, after only a minute’s absence from him, there was a burning emptiness that made her want to run back into his arms.

They were supposed to get the ship back to the hangar, repair it and then leave this miserable place. Why was it so hard? The others were waiting for her. Luke had to wonder where she was. Finn was probably out of his mind from worrying.  
Up until now, she had been certain that she was in love with Finn; that she desired him.  
But there had never really been this urge to have physical contact with him; never an all-consuming fever that made her act like lunatic. 

“Do you love him?”  
His shade fell over the bed. She let out a sharp, impatient sigh.  
“I thought I told you not to bother me.”  
“Why?”  
She looked up. His trousers and boots were on. He wore a grave face with an accusing glare, but a trace of insecurity was there.  
“It’s not about you.” She murmured.

“Then is it about _him_?”  
“Yes! I am betraying my people! I am betraying Finn!”  
“So…are you formally…a couple?”  
She had never heard him sound so restrained.  
“We never said anything out loud. But everyone counts on it. Finn counts on it.”

“Then it has no meaning. If you have not declared anything, it does not exist.”  
“Then there is nothing between us either.”  
He squatted in front on her.  
“I have told you what I want. You have not answered me.”  
“Because I’m trying to figure this out! You just keep interrupting me!”

A thick cloud of anger took shape between them.  
She sensed how a storm of emotions rose within him and was fought down before it reached the surface.  
“If it gives you any comfort,” he said. “I am betraying my people too.”  
“I can’t believe that. They should be delighted to hear about the damage you’re causing.”

“They would not mind what we are doing.” He said quietly, touching her knee. “But they would mind if they knew…what it means…”  
He rose abruptly and walked away. Next, she heard his lightsaber come to life. There was no angry demolition as expected. Judging from the sound of it he was training.  
Rey sat there a little longer, trying to grasp what he had just said.

After a few minutes she rose and walked back to the metal cabinet, putting her trousers and shoes on. Then she sat down with crossed legs and practiced.  
He joined her after a while, giving her helpful directions. This time he did not blindfold her. He did not even try to touch her. With a strangely rational composure he kept guiding her through theory and practice, sounding like a complete stranger. 

\---

The training took most of the day.  
By the end of it she could lift the cabinet with ease and hold it up for long enough to get a nod of approval. She ached for his touch as they sat down to have dinner.  
“I think I am ready to lift the ship tomorrow.” Rey said, opening the food box.  
“It is certainly worth a try.”  
She cast him a quick glance. He was impossible to read.

“You seem at ease.”  
“I am.” He said. “This forsaken place almost made me forget my prospects at home.”  
“Oh?”  
“Two female officers.” He continued. “Both young and striking. They have been begging me with their eyes and thoughts to take them for some time now. I don’t think they would mind sharing. I wouldn’t.”

There was an icicle growing from her stomach and up through her throat. The fork was left hanging in her grip before she dropped it.  
“You can take your time with the thinking.” He finished. “It is really not that important.”  
With one swift move she swept the food off the table, making it crash into the wall. She got up and did the same to his food. Then her lightsaber came out, slashing the table in half.  
_“You don’t get to do this!”_ She roared.  
“Rey!”

She kicked one of the table parts at him with force, making him stumble back. Then she attacked. He got his lightsaber up quickly, parrying her. A searing fire was burning through her veins as she dealt him blow after blow.  
The connection between her head and her actions seemed to be broken. She was in a flow of raging power, lifting any rubble she stumbled on with the force and aiming it at him. He had to dodge and stop it with his own powers. Some of it hit him anyway.  
“Rey! Stop!”  
“You are an obnoxious liar! How _could_ you?!”

“It’s not real!”  
“You’ll _die_ for this!”  
She managed to kick him into the wall, feeding him blows which he could barely block.  
“There are no officers, Rey!”  
“Liar!”  
“Search my mind! You know it’s true!”

The anger made her nearly choke. She coughed and stumbled, giving him an opportunity to lock their weapons together and push her away.  
“The dark side!” He shouted. “You are excellent at it! Is that what you want?”  
It made something stir inside. Her mind returned to take control. She was shaking and hyperventilating, her heart trying to break out of her chest.

“…You…said…”  
“Only to see if you cared.” He said, panting. “I did not expect…this.”  
He was pale; his dark eyes large and startled. Slowly, he took a step closer. Then another step.  
“Why would you say something like that?” She breathed.  
“I’m sorry.” He reached for her, fingers brushing her arm.  
“Do you know what this means to me? That you and I… that I trusted you?”  
“I know. Would you please shut your weapon down?”

When she did not respond, he deactivated his own beam and hung the handle on his belt.  
Biting her lip hard, she followed his example. The room was a mess.  
“What have I done?” She whispered.  
His arms closed around her. Hands stroked her back reassuringly.  
“Just breathe. It will pass in a moment.”

“Are you hurt?”  
“Not more than I deserve.”  
“Don’t ever do that again.”  
“I won’t even think about it.”  
She put her arms around him, holding on harder than intended. 

“You thought I did not care? I am terrified of what you are doing to me.”  
“Do you know what you are doing to _me_?” He said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I should have destroyed you while I had the chance.”  
“I should have killed you too.”

“Let me fetch another table.” He said. “We’ll have fresh food.”  
“I’m not hungry right now.”  
“Me neither, actually.”  
“Please.” She said, leaving his embrace and pulling at his hand. “Come with me.”  
He followed her to the bed. They both sat down. The dark eyes burned. With both hands entangled in his hair, she leaned her brow against his.

“I want this thing between us to be special.” She said. “I don’t know how. I just don’t want anyone else involved.”  
“Not even…Finn?”  
An agonizing second passed by.  
“Not even Finn.”  
He drew a deep breath.

“I guess he gets to live then.”  
“Don’t joke about that.”  
“It was not a joke.”  
He kissed her before she could say anything back. She answered it eagerly, starved from the many hours of abstinence.

Her head was in a soft but steady grip, his thumb sinking into her cheek as he broke the kiss and gazed at her with his irresistible intensity.  
“I like that you are mine.” He said. “And that your body knows it. You are blushing already, as if you know what I am thinking about.”  
“I- really don’t.” Her voice was shaking. 

His arm snuck around her waist, pulling her closer.  
“I claimed my reward earlier.” He said. “You never got to claim yours. How would you like it?”  
A soft kiss on the neck. Her breathing was speeding up again. She did have something in mind, but it would be outrageous to ask. But then, it would mean feeling him close again.  
“Say it.” He whispered.

“That thing you did.” She whispered back, as quietly as she could. “When we fought.”  
“Yes?” he was leaning her backwards.  
“With your… mouth.”  
“You did like that. You came so fast.”  
“Came?”  
He lay down on her, kissing her eyelids, nose and mouth.  
“You are so deliciously innocent I could eat you alive. I think I will.”

His hands and mouth wandered downwards, removing clothes as they went. She whimpered when he sucked at her nipple, caressing his head and shoulders affectionately. When her pants were pulled off, he kissed and stroked her naked legs until her hips rose on instinct, welcoming him.  
He pushed her thighs apart and bent them backwards against her body.  
“You are trembling.” He said. “You should. I am going to force this out of you until you beg me to stop.”

The moment his lips touched the small knot, a fuse blew in her head. There were only light kisses at first, but they made the whole room swirl.  
His mouth was bolder this time, going further down to kiss the cavity between her wet lips. As his tongue went inside there was a shock coursing through the entire body. She moaned and yelped, trying to move her hips only to discover that he had them locked in a firm grip.

Being so completely at his mercy heightened the pleasure to near madness.  
There were fingers at her knot, playing with it as he licked and probed hungrily.  
Some of the recent anger mingled with the overwhelming sensation, heightening it to a trance-like state. The thing building up inside promised to erupt with some serious power.  
When the first spasms came she was already screaming his name, writhing violently until a heavy pressure immobilized her arms and legs, leaving her incapacitated in ecstatic agony. 

He did not slow down. Instead of giving her room to breathe, he moved his mouth up and started to suck at the knot, sliding two fingers in and out of her.  
“Kylo…oh Kylo…please…”  
It was building up again. She was painfully oversensitive already, trying to deal with the pulsating leftovers from the first pinnacle. 

His hand came up to clutch her breast, squeezing it greedily. The fingers kept pumping her in the same merciless rhythm; the mouth sucked and licked with increasing intensity until she lost control again, getting flung into a sea of inhumanly strong currents.  
Excruciating.  
She heard herself scream at the top of her lungs, sensing him in the deep ocean that swallowed her, sharing it in the dark depth; knowing the agony she was in.

_“Please! Please!”_ It was her voice coming out of the darkness. _“I can’t! Please!”_  
There was relief; he left her sex with a lingering kiss, climbing on top of her. The only thing in focus was his eyes. Her body was still deliciously locked by his powers. The contractions in her stomach made everything burn.  
He lowered his mouth to her lips.

“Beautiful Rey.” He whispered. “Pleading with such sincerity. Do you know how much it pleases me?”  
She caught his lip with her teeth and pulled his mouth down to a kiss. Her breath came in sobs. This perfect delirium could not be shaken. She was floating, turned inside out for him, open and dying to be filled the way he filled her now, pushing in his full size, causing a violent stirring in all her secret, sensitive spots. 

His mind was a dark, open terrain, scorched by a flaming inferno. She ventured into it, allowing the flames to envelop her as his quick thrusts pried her further open, leaving her just in time for the long-awaited release. Her limbs were free suddenly and she slid down in a hurry to catch his warm pleasure in her mouth, drawing him in and tasting it with devotion.

“Rey!” He gasped, fighting to breathe as she kept him inside even when he was empty, licking him clean. She did not stop until the twitching against her tongue had ceased. He fell to the pillow and she followed, pulling blankets over them before settling in his arms, kissing his chest and neck repeatedly.  
The tensions in their bodies dissolved, plunging them both into a deep sleep. Their minds were still so entangled that she could sense the moment he entered unconsciousness, even though she was already dreaming.

His struggle on the bridge woke her up. The pain was felt much deeper than before, tearing him apart on a profound level.  
She repeated his name until his eyes were open. There were tears; thin streams crossing his cheeks until she had kissed them dry.  
“I will help you.” She whispered.  
“It’s too late.”

“This time, _you_ need a teacher. Keep your mind inside mine. Breathe with me.”  
With his head under her chin, she held him close and reached for the force, letting its light fill every dark corner, obliterating her woes and worries, replacing time and space with perfect peace. Here all things floated without place or context. This was the threshold were all paths met. This was love in its purest form. Unconditional.  
The all-consuming presence of the soul that was the universe. 

His heart slowed down. She felt his rejection and then his surrender, allowing the light to seep inside until the chaos in his head was no more.  
There was no way of telling how long they lay like this. At some point he murmured against her neck, his thumb stroking her back.  
“Don’t ever leave me.”  
“I love you.” She whispered.

The peaceful state was instantly broken.  
She opened her eyes and just stared into nothing. This time, it was _her_ heart racing out of control as he lifted his head to look at her.  
What had she just said? Was there a manual describing how to handle this?  
If there was, she needed to find it fast. He had risen on an elbow already, trying to catch her eyes.  
_Help._


	6. The Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got posted way too late. I promised half of the commentators to have it published a couple of days ago. Then I forgot that there was this annoying thing that could buzz around, called Reality. So there was some duty to take care of first and I had to edit this chapter in a hurry. I hope it has not lowered the quality.
> 
> Again THANK YOU!!! Omg, 350 kudos after five chapters? Amazing! Also, keep commenting, I love to interact with you! And don't be shy to start chatting about things if you feel like it. It is so interesting to know how other Reylo trashers view the dynamics between the couple.
> 
> Then a WARNING. You will experience a Fifty Shades of Reylo in this chapter. Not without Rey's full approval of course, but if you get awkward with lighter kinds of BDSM, you should skim through some of the text quickly. Remember that the tag says 'rough sex'. It might be worse in the future as the trust is built up between them. End of warning.
> 
> May the Force be With You. Always.

“I’m just going to grab some food.” Rey said, rolling off the bed.  
He caught her before her feet hit the ground, hauling her in and pressing her down on her back. Sitting on top, he pinned both wrists to the mattress. But it was his eyes that nailed her in place.  
“You will not run from this.”

“I don’t know why I said that!”  
“You do! You are coming with me the instant we get that ship to fly!”  
“No! You know I can’t!”  
“But you _love_ me.”  
He hissed the word out between clenched teeth.

“Are you mocking me? I was trying to help you!”  
“Oh, that’s why you said it? I don’t think so.”  
“I never said it before! I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean!”  
“Look at you! You don’t get to say things like that, all naked and blushing, expecting me to dismiss it as an unfortunate slip.”

“I told you, I don’t know what this is! I don’t know what I feel!”  
“But you clearly feel something!”  
“Yes! I just don’t…”  
“Do you know what I had planned for you?”  
“No…”

“When I saw how you looked at me, I knew I could turn you. Seduce you; spin you into a web of emotional dependency, playing on your hopeless fear of abandonment; making you so eager to please me that the dark side would be a small price to pay to have my approval.”  
She stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Then,” he continued, “you distracted me. _Me!_ You have me so infused with your Jedi poison, I even want to keep you with the light, if only to be able to taint it! And now you are looking at me with those big eyes, telling me you _love_ me?”  
He paused to catch his breath. She frowned.  
“You were going to use me?”

Rey flipped them over and straddled him the same way, holding his wrists down.  
“Let’s get one thing clear.” She said in a low voice. “You will _never_ turn me to your cause. Your devotion to that tyrannical organization is sad and appalling!”  
“Tyrannical? We are bringing order to a galaxy that the rebellion left in turmoil!”  
“By murdering billions of innocents?”  
“I see what you’re doing.”

Once more, he rolled on top and resumed his position.  
“You will not change the subject!” He warned. “You know who I am! And you are _in love_ with me!”  
“I am not in love with this vile creature that you’re so desperately trying to be! It is the other one that I…!”  
“That you…?”  
If only the ground would crack open and swallow her.

“Listen to me.” He said. _“There is no other person in here!”_  
“There is! I was with you in the light. I _saw_ you! That’s when I felt… when I knew that I….”  
She closed her eyes, expecting a blast of harsh words. Instead there was a soft kiss.  
“You are tearing me apart.” He whispered. “You are haunting me like a malicious spirit. And now you have led me into these dark waters where I cannot find my way out.”

She nodded slowly, her face tensing from holding the tears back. He might as well have been describing her.  
“Free my arms.”  
He did. She locked him in a hungry embrace, letting arms and legs pull them tightly together. Their mouths were at each other instantly. When their bodies moved to unite it was in a trembling fever. The tears were running and she could not stop them.

Even though his entry opened her up with an almost painful shock, she pushed her hips up against him.  
“Deeper!”  
His skin was so hot it burned her fingers. The thrusts came with an almost punishing harshness. There were rapturous sounds from her throat, mixed with sobs. His heavy breathing escalated into a loud growl. He just barely got out in time.

As soon as she had enough air in her lungs to speak, she cupped his cheeks, feeling his shivering breath on her face.  
“I think about you every minute.” she whispered. “Sometimes I dream about you. I am not sure my body will survive being away from you. Is that love? If it is, then it is cruel!”

She winced as he took hold of her face the same way she held his.  
“If you would consider coming with me,” He said, “I would never leave you. If we got separated I would always come back for you. Always.”  
“Kylo…”

“I would not ask you to be an acolyte of the dark side. I would give you everything. You would never have to be hungry or cold, or in any kind of discomfort. All I would ask is that you swear your allegiance to me; that I am the only one sharing your bed.”  
“And what I would ask,” she said, as a lump grew in her throat, “Is that you turned away from your path. Not to choose mine necessarily, but that you reconsidered the choices that have brought you and others so much pain. I could never live the way you do. Never.”

The abyss between them was as bottomless as the one that had opened when they fought in the forest. For a moment it seemed like the only force in the galaxy keeping them together was their hands on each other’s skin.  
“I should never have brought you with me.” He said. “I should have left you in the forest. Or better yet, decapitated you. What am I to do with you now?”

“Just be with me. Here. Forget everything else.”  
Intense, lingering kisses on her face.  
“I already have, my love.”  
His love. A warm current spread from her stomach and filled every vein. 

She leaned her head to his chest, finding a strange pleasure in the wet naked mess. With a deep sigh, she let the waves of sleep wash over her. The emotional turmoil was too exhausting and at this moment she only needed those words to hold on to.  
His love.

\---

The next morning he stopped her from getting up and served her food on the bed. His hair in a thick, mischievous disorder and his eyes unusually warm, he even insisted on holding the fork, feeding her parts of the meal.  
How could this whole other person live inside the same body?  
“You are spoiling me.” She said, swallowing the last pieces of the stew.  
“You have not been spoiled enough.”

“Are we lifting the ship today?”  
“Only one challenge left for you before you do it. Get dressed and I’ll show you.”  
She changed into fresh clothes. It would have been nice getting clean first. Perhaps he could be persuaded to join her in the lake later. He looked so impossibly gorgeous in the water. She would not mind swimming close to him there, feeling their bodies touch, all wet…

The moment her boots were on, he took her by the hand and led her to the hangar gate.  
She had to concentrate hard to let the image of the lake go.  
“I want you to open it.” He said. “Without using the buttons. When you have moved it enough to let a ship inside, then I know you are ready.”  
“But it’s huge! This is not like lifting a cabinet.”  
“Neither is the ship. Sit down and we’ll start.”

She sighed and sank to the floor, facing the gate. He did the same.  
“What are you doing?”  
“You will connect your mind to mine.” He replied. “The way I did to yours. When you sense me open the gate, then see with my eyes. Do what I do.”  
She nodded, even though his words felt vague and mysterious.

Their minds connected with a surprising speed. Before long she was lost in the visions of his thoughts and the shapeless impact her presence had on him. She wanted to linger there; move closer to him physically and tell him how grateful she was for the tender awakening.  
He felt it as she thought it and let her further in, until a door opened and she saw the gate with its myriad of shining stars. 

At first it was blinding. Then the light became duller. The stars were still there, but the focus was shifting towards something different. There was a dark space between the stars, connecting them as they held everything together.  
This was the gate seen through his eyes; the startling revelation of what the dark side looked like.

When he reached out, it was not for the stars. He connected with every little dark space where the gate was and moved them. The mystery was suddenly gone. There was no myriad of stars or even millions of dark holes between them. They were only one thing and she was part of it too. It was so simple, sending her will across this sea of energy, causing ripples and waves. 

She kept her mind on the light and turned her focus to his, uniting with it.  
The loud grating noise made the floor tremble. There was speed in the movement. The blast of power sent warm waves through the room.  
She opened her eyes.  
The gate was wide open and icy winds blew snow inside.  
They both got up at the same time, staring at the gate, then at each other. 

With a cry of excitement, Rey jumped into his arms and locked her legs around him.  
“We did it! I could see it, Kylo! Really see it!”  
He gave her a passionate kiss.  
“Stop smiling or I’ll have to rip your clothes off right here.”  
“The ship first.” She whispered. “Then we could go for a swim.”

“You realize how red you are?”  
“The ship.” She repeated, putting her feet on the floor with one last kiss.  
He let go of her reluctantly and followed as she nearly ran outside, breathing the cold air and sensing the force everywhere, as she had seen it with his vision; light and dark depending on one another. He caught up with her, giving her an enigmatic look.

“I can’t believe it was this easy.” She said, taking his hand.  
“It’s not. It was supposed to take you weeks only to move the cabinet.”  
“I had a good teacher.”  
“And I have a very talented pupil.”  
She squeezed his hand. The warmth in her stomach returned.

The ship was exactly as they had left it, with the exception of a new layer of snow on top.  
Before lifting it, there was a short bickering about what to do with the two corpses inside. The pilots would not decompose for a good while in the extreme cold and he wanted to dump them in the snow. She called him callous, but had to give in since there was no way of starting a bonfire or burying them in anything else than snow.

Once the pilots were lifted out and positioned in what Rey thought worthy for a last rest, Kylo took over and instructed her exactly how to stand and how to keep concentration while walking.  
“Remember”, he said, “that the ship must be upheld for a twenty minutes’ walk. We will do this one bit at a time. If you need to rest, you have to communicate it to me. Otherwise it might damage the ship worse than it already is.”  
She nodded and closed her eyes. 

It took only a minute’s struggle to raise the ship before realizing the effort it took. Being connected to him and sharing all this power was the easy part. The hard part was keeping her head in one place, making sure the ship stayed up.  
She felt drained after a few minutes, but clenched her teeth and took only the breaks given by him.

It was surreal to walk through the snowy landscape with closed eyes and a ship hovering between them. Those skills were not expected for many years to come. With him, there would be so few limits to what they could accomplish.  
If they could agree on the same agenda.

When they had finally reached the hangar and Kylo paused to open the gate, Rey lay down in the snow, grumbling as he made her stand up to get the ship inside.  
She did it with head and limbs aching, exhausted beyond words.  
As the ship came down in the hangar and the gate was closed, she went straight to the bed and threw herself at it. 

He followed, making her drink a lot of water before lying down, holding her.  
“You were so brave, my little apprentice.” He murmured, kissing her ear. “I am so very pleased with you.”  
“Must… sleep.” She replied, but kissed his hand affectionately before drifting off.

\---

When she woke up, his hand was still at her lips, exactly the way it had been when she fell asleep. She kissed it again and turned over, meeting his dark eyes.  
“Did you get any rest?” She asked.  
“Some.”  
They looked at each other in silence.

“Thank you.” She said. “For showing me the force this way. I’ve learned so much.” She paused. “I only hope that I gave you something in return. To find peace.”  
He frowned. His eyes grew darker.  
“Do you want to know how I find peace?”  
He dragged his finger over her shoulder and down her arm.

“When you kiss my hand the way you just did. When you blush from just looking at me. When I know that everything I do to you is done for the first time, making me the one who takes your virginity, over and over again.”  
The room felt warm and dizzying.  
“I am taking your virginity too, you know.”

“So…do you plan to defile me in the lake?”  
She averted her eyes. Flames burned her ears.  
“It would be a pleasant coincidence if you did.” He said in a low voice. “Because I plan to defile _you_ there.”

\---

The lake hall was as warm and promising as she had remembered it. Only this time, she was a lot more embarrassed when removing her clothes. He eyed her with such an intrusive frankness that she had to make an effort not to jump him.  
They both dove into the water at the same time. Rey came up to the surface only to find his wry smile and hungry gaze. 

“Stop it!” She said, splashing water at him. But her lips twisted into a smile.  
He made a gesture and a wave came up, soaking her.  
“I like you this way.” He said. “Wet.”  
“Kylo!”  
Rey connected with the force as well, making a beam of water shoot him in the face. She laughed at his scowl.

He closed the distance, grabbed her and started to wrestle her in the water.  
She played along and fought him wildly, losing strength along with conviction as the touch of his wet skin made her bite and lick every part of him she could reach. A strong arm held her locked as he swam with her to the edge where the underwater platform was. Before she could blink, they were at the platform and she was straddling his lap with her butt above the surface, still with his arm pressing them together.

“You dare to bite me, my mischievous little student? I think you must be punished.”  
He gave her a short, stinging slap on her buttocks. There was such a strong somersault in her stomach it made her skin prickle. Another slap.  
“Oooh…!” She breathed, brushing her lips against his.  
Her hips rolled against his hard sex, needing the relief fast.

The third slap was so hard she bit his lip with the gasp. He took hold of her hair and gave her a gaze that almost made her let the climax out.  
“Lean against the edge, on your knees.” He said.  
Her body obeyed instantly, trembling uncontrollably. He kneeled behind her, putting his crotch against her buttocks and pressing her legs together. Then he leaned over and held her arms, brushing his mouth against her ear.

“You need to be disciplined.” He said under his breath. “Surely you must see that?”  
“Yes…!” she whimpered.  
The juices running down her thighs were a shameful evidence of her approval.  
When his fingers stroked her opening she started to breathe in willing moans, kissing his other hand fervently.

He made a frustrated sound and replaced his fingers with the head of the erection, grabbing her other arm again and pushing in. Having her legs pressed together by his knees made him feel a lot bigger as he squeezed in, holding her gently, but firmly in place.  
She was hyperventilating, shaking and welcoming the throbbing intrusion all too much. He scraped his teeth against the nape of her neck before biting down, making the hair rise on her entire body. 

He was pounding his way inside, gasping and growling, the wet abdomen sliding against her back and adding another degree of heat to her body. Once he was all the way inside, the thrusts came in short, forceful nudges until the tension inside reached its breaking point.  
“It’s… happening…!” She groaned, clenching against him violently as the ecstasy came rushing in, making her knot pulsate with aching pleasure. 

He continued to ride her in the same harsh pace all the way through it. She was trembling harder than before, grateful for being held so firmly in place.  
His breath was shaky as he bit and sucked at her earlobe.  
“When I let you go” he said, “you will finish this with your mouth.”  
She could only nod, too overwhelmed to speak.

He drew out and sat down on the edge while she remained on her knees at the platform, putting her head between his legs and drawing the climax out of him. There was more spilling into her than before. He was nearly in cramps as it came, clutching her hair and pushing his hips against her desperately.  
When it was over, he sank down to the platform, cradling her in his arms as she had her ear pressed to his chest, indulging in the rhythm of his heart. 

“My beautiful princess.” He murmured, kissing her head. “You can never belong to anyone else.”  
No one had ever called her a princess before; for a good reason. Still his words gave an affectionate resonance in her heart.  
“My dark prince.” She sighed.  
“Your dark prince. I like that.”

She turned her mouth to him and was rewarded with a deep kiss.  
Even though her limbs were limp from the exhaustion, she felt her sex stir to life again. He broke the kiss slowly and took her chin, stroking her cheek tenderly.  
“I want you to touch yourself while I am watching.” He said.  
Rey hesitated. Then she put a hand on her stomach, hoping it would suffice.  
“No.” He said, moving her hand further down. “I want you to put it between your legs and please yourself while I toy with you.”

Her face started to ache in deep throbbing flames.  
What was there to say? That every now and then she had felt whispers of the thing that he had turned to a fury inside her; that she had held the rough blanket on Jakku pressed between her thighs, hardly knowing what the itch was, but stopping from nausea before it could be properly scratched?

“Have you never done that before?” He looked puzzled. “I have imagined you in this position many times, thinking about me.”  
“Why don’t _you_ touch yourself.” She murmured.  
“I have; a lot. Thinking about you in all kinds of ways.”  
He held her breast, letting a finger play with the nipple. 

A thin moan escaped her.  
“I know that you long to feel it again.” He said. “I will make it easy for you.”  
His hand moved down between her legs, stroking the knot slowly. Small, pleasant twitches ran through it. His lips closed over hers again, kissing her softly and allowing her to respond at her own pace.

She snuck her hand down, putting it over his as he traced the finger further down, revealing how wet she still was.  
“Do you know how beguiling you are?” He said. “Blushing down to your neck like that? Wars could be waged over you.”  
He took her hand and replaced it with his own. His hand moved up to play with her breasts again. 

There was a vague anxiety, a fear to show her weakness; to fail.  
He kept kissing her face and her mouth, pinching her nipples lightly, clutching and stroking her breasts, until the knot in her stomach turned to intoxicating waves. Her sex cried for attention. Tentatively and slowly, her fingers started to do what his had; moving up and down her knot, adding pressure, trying different angles until her wet opening convulsed in response. 

Pressing the palm to the sensitive knot, the fingers slid down and snuck inside.  
He turned his head a little and lowered his gaze, watching as she started to undulate against her own hand, moving the fingers in and out. With his hands over her breasts and mouth, it was as if her body took control and made her do what it wanted. She pressed hard against the needy spot, clenching her thighs tightly as his mouth came down to suck at her nipple, the other one slightly stretched and pulled at. 

She was breathing fast, amazed at how simple it was to increase the arousal. Her fingers moved fast as the palm massaged her knot roughly, until the pleasure lay naked between her and the hand. His mouth left the nipple. He was watching with a rabid focus as her hips rose to let her fingers further in.  
“Kylo!” she sobbed.

When he clutched her breast hard she let go, taken aback by the strong waves pulling everything with them as they crashed in. The pleasure was so much more intense this time and lasted a lot longer. She only needed to move her hand against certain spots to reignite it. When the storm inside calmed, she opened her eyes. He was studying her face closely with red cheeks. She could tell from the hard bump against her back that he had enjoyed it. 

There was a kiss. Fingers nestled into her hair, holding the back of her head firmly. The kisses continued. Then his gaze became sharp and invasive.  
A few moments later she realized where his hand was and what he was doing.  
She did not know which way to look.  
The shock melted into warm arousal as his thumb caressed her throat and chin, playing on her lips before pushing against them. 

She opened her mouth slightly. His thumb slid inside.  
Closing her lips around it, the size of his hands became apparent. It seemed to fill her mouth as she sucked at it. She was making small content sounds as the rich saliva gave her pleasure away.  
His hand moved faster underneath her. She tasted the thumb with more devotion, noticing how it made him gasp in a certain way.  
Faster than expected, he moved her underneath him, letting the pleasure go over her chest.

She was a little startled at first, but could not help but to enjoy how out of control he was.  
When it came to an end, she stroked his softening limb affectionately, forcing a few more pulsating spasms out of him.  
He eyed her with an uncharacteristic insecurity, blushing and heaving. She sat up with a playful smirk, caressing his cheek reassuringly.

Another triumph brought on by him.  
Now she could finally own her body completely, removing the scars that Jakku had left on her. There had to be so many ways to explore this, with and without him.  
He kissed her and grabbed the towel, starting to wipe her clean. She kissed him several times while he did it, taking his hand as he threw the towel away.  
“Are you content with me now, my sweet prince?” She said, kissing his hand the way she knew he loved.  
“The ship, Rey.” He whispered.

There was a shift in his eyes. There was torture now. And conflict.  
“What about the ship?”  
“When it is repaired, where will it go?”  
She opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again. Frowning, she embraced him and was crushed in his arms.  
Where would they steer the ship?

\---

Working with the ship turned out to be no easy feat. The first obstacle was him.  
They had risen the next morning with one agenda only, but getting his cooperation was like wrestling with an oiled sand worm.  
As soon as she brought the repair plan up, his lips turned into a thin line as he change the subject or walked away.  
She lectured him, yelled and showed all kinds of frustration, but to no avail. 

At one point, he walked off to practice with his lightsaber. The noise annoyed her. If only he would fix the crystal inside or at least replace it. Stabilize the mechanism; anything.  
Then it hit her like lightning from a clear sky.  
She walked up to him, watching his many attack positions flow as if it was a second nature.  
“You have no idea how to repair a ship, do you?”

He stopped to look at her, a small blush spreading on his cheeks.  
“Why would I be concerned with such things?”  
“All these ideas I have shared with you; you have not understood a word I’ve said.”  
He deactivated the lightsaber and huffed.  
“Your point is?”

“I will keep this in mind and give you tasks that you can complete, but you must be precise and listen to everything I say. One tiny mistake and the ship might go up in flames when we start it.”  
She could tell exactly what he felt about being ordered around. He bit his lip.  
Rey walked up to him, putting her hand on his chest.  
“You do as I say and when the work is done for the day, I will submit to everything you want.” She rose on her toes and kissed his cheek.

It had effect.  
He listened to her instructions with renewed motivation and she made sure to use very basic terminology and to give him simpler, repetitive tasks that stole time, but had to be done.  
Fixing the wing would be the hard part, but since there was a weld and an assumed graveyard of ships out there, they stood a good chance of solving it.

Two weeks floated by this way; repairing the ship with him, discussing the force and how it all connected with the universe; if there was limits to their powers and how to use them. They trained with their lightsabers and even meditated together, as well as trying close combat, which always ended in rough, obliterating sex. 

It could happen at any moment; he sneaking up on her, kissing her neck and pulling her pants down just enough, taking her against the ship or the table, or any other place. Sometimes it was her sinking down in his lap, making him hard and riding him until she had at least one climax; mostly two or three. 

And when they went to bed at night, they would read to each other until the burdens of the day had blown away. Then this game began that gave her more pleasure than anything else; allowing him to own her; to strip all control away from her and play her like an instrument until she collapsed into blinding ‘orgasms’ as he called it. 

At times, they did not speak. The wordless communication the force provided was so much more genuine and intimate.  
He did treat her like princess; serving her dinner, giving her a much needed massage after a hard day’s work. She returned the favors, learning about him as he learned about her; favorite food, the strongest and weakest spots and all about secret desires.  
When he was tortured by the nightmares, he allowed her to give her peace through the shared meditation. 

There were also the rows; horrible fights erupting over the destination of the ship. They often ended up in tears and in earth shattering, feverish sex, until they finally agreed on steering towards a city hovering above Bespin, a system very close to Hoth. From there they would both contact their allies and move on.  
He was not at all pleased with the solution and secretly, neither was she. But she had insisted on needing time to work things out; to know how to progress with what they had. Leaving the Resistance was out of the question, no matter how much he called them terrorists and sneered when she suggested he’d go with her.

His pleas, seductions and threats to make her follow him to The First Order had no effect.  
It always concluded with the same answer.  
“It’s _you_ I want.” She said. “Not the world you live in.”  
Truth was that Rey dreaded the moment she had to separate from him. She was not even sure it was possible. This whole experience on Hoth might turn out to have been nothing but a pleasant illusion, something she wanted so badly that it had blinded her to what he was.

She did feel blind; filled up with this strange affection for him, this fever for his touch and tenderness; his company as they could talk about everything or nothing with such frankness and ease. Never did she have to hold back her temper or sincerity, knowing he could pick it up and read her like an open book all the same.  
He had been right. This sort of intimacy was not easily found with anyone else.

\---

When the day came to load the ship with supplies and try its engine, there was a dark shroud over the hangar.  
Rey had a heavy stone in her stomach that grew bigger the closer they got to the finish line. They had cut up an old AT-AT walker to mold the missing wing after exact measures to make the ship fly straight. It was her proudest achievement. Now she wished she had been more inept and worked less efficiently. 

He was too silent, glowering at her with dark eyes as the last boxes of food, blankets and water was placed at the passenger’s compartment. Rey checked the hyperdrive mechanism one last time. Then they stood at the ramp; holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes.  
“A dark clad commander might still kidnap you.” He said.  
“I might kidnap him back.”  
“Would you?”

His hands on her cheek made everything ten times as hard. She removed it gently and kissed it.  
“This is not goodbye.” She said, trying to hold the tears back. “I’m not sure I can survive if it is.”  
“You belong to me.” He said. “I will not be away from you for too long.”  
She threw her arms around him and let the tears come.

“We could stay on Bespin for a while.” He said. “The Order has contacts there. We could live in abundance. I would finally get a chance to spoil you properly.”  
“And then what? Where would we go?”  
“Somewhere we could be together.”  
“But you will not give up on The First Order and I cannot leave Luke and The Resistance.”

“Let’s go to Bespin.” He said. “At least we will know we are not stranded there.”  
She nodded, trying to control all the old wounds that this separation tore open. Perhaps they could stay there a while, leaving reality hanging a little longer.  
Walking up the ramp, she noted a flash of something in his eyes. She was not at all certain that he would just let her go once they reached Bespin. Then again, she was not certain that she would let _him go._

Once at Bespin there might be a chance to convince him of something, bring the real person out of the angry warrior and get him to reunite with his family. It was a terribly unrealistic idea, but the other alternative was too harsh to think about.

She strapped herself to the main pilot’s seat, waiting until he had settled beside her.  
Then she punched the buttons and pulled the levers, hearing the engine roar to life. The hangar door lay wide open. She looked out the window one last time, back at the table where they had eaten their breakfasts and dinners and at the mattress where they had shared all these intimate moments. 

Then, with supernatural self-discipline, she turned the ship and steered it out.  
The ship lifted and flew with only minor instability. When it was time to enter hyperspace, she held her breath as the drive was activated.  
With a loud hum, it kicked them out of the Hoth system and onwards to Bespin.

\---

They had just exited hyperspace when the radar picked up a huge presence close to them.  
“A Destroyer!” She gasped. “It’s a Star Destroyer!”  
They only needed to turn the ship slightly to see it through the glass of the cockpit.  
“It’s The Vigilance!” he said, sounding relieved.  
The radio crackled to life and gave her a start.

 _“The Vigilance to Commander One, come in.”_  
He was about to hit the speaker button. She caught his wrist.  
“No!”  
“You cannot outrun a Star Destroyer.” He said. “And there is no need to. You will have to board it as my prisoner, but only as a formality.”

“What the…”  
“I will make sure you are under my observation at all times. Rey, this is serious. If we do not say what they want to hear, they will shoot us down.”  
“But you are their commander! You could just tell them that you are on a mission and that you are not yet done!”  
“You are so right.”

He pushed the button and leaned over the microphone.  
“Commander One speaking.” He said. “We need to land. Haul us in.”  
It took her a couple of seconds to react.  
Then she punched her fist into his cheek with all the force she could muster from her restricted position.

 _“How could you?!”_  
He held his cheek and faced her with bared teeth.  
“You thought I was going to pass on a chance to keep you close to me? It would never happen!”  
A cold fury spread in her veins. 

“I thought you respected my choices.”  
“You can leave whenever you want. You have done it before and I am sure you can do it again. Just give me a chance to…”  
“What? Turn me?”  
He sighed. For a moment his eyes were open gates, showing her this other person that she held so close.  
“I love you.” He said. “Stay, if only for a few days. Get fresh clothes and good food. I will make sure you can leave when you want.”

“How can I trust a word you say?”  
“Look at it this way: at least we had you trained for a situation where the dark clad commander might do this to you.”  
Seeing his smirk, she kicked him hard on his ankle.  
“This dark clad commander will be very sorry.” She snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next we will find out if Rey has been trained enough to withstand the Dark Clad Commander. Or indeed, if the dark Clad Commander can withstand Rey's anger. ;-)


	7. The Dark Clad Commander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear fellow Reylos!
> 
> This chapter is even later than the last one! I am struggling with an illness that has included hospitals and medications. Not a common man-cold and it has had me incapacitated for a while. I managed to squeeze out a chapter finally and can only hope it will not take as much time to post the next one. I have another month of staying home before I'll be well enough to work again, so hopefully I will be able to give writing some time.
> 
> I do hope you will enjoy this and that the text is not too weird. The medication is strong with this one, dear readers.  
> And the warning, or to some, the promise: This story is labelled with 'rough sex'. You've seen this, right? So, yeah, they're in Kylo's hood now and it can inspire to all kinds of things...
> 
> Love you for all the nice feedback I'm getting! And I love following those of you who are at tumblr. You make my days in bed so much more interesting. I will reply to all your comments, including to the previous chapter, as soon as I can.
> 
> May the force be with you. Always.

The tractor beam was drawing them in, making sure the ship was smoothly transferred to the docking bay.  
Rey sat absolutely still, clenching her fists and staring straight ahead.  
Kylo had loosened the safety straps and gone to the passenger’s compartment. When he returned he moved quietly, almost carefully.

“I will need your weapons.” He said.  
She turned her head slowly. He must have kept his helmet in the ship the whole time. Now he was holding it, ready to put on the mask that turned him into the feared monster.  
“You will _not_ have my weapons.” Her voice was cold and distant.  
“If they see that you’re armed…”

“I will conceal them. But you will not have them.”  
He frowned. Frustration radiated from him.  
“What choice did I have? After all that’s happened, we would have gone separate ways? Our paths are entwined now.”  
“Choice? You want to speak to me about having a choice? You did it _again!_ You kidnapped me _again!_ ”

“You are not really my prisoner. It’s just for appearance’s sake.”  
“I am stuck on a huge enemy ship, surrounded by threats. You tell me what this is!”  
He squatted beside her chair, reaching to touch her arm. Seeing her gaze, he froze and put his hand on the armrest.  
“No one will dare to touch you. They know you are one of my most important projects.”  
“So now I‘m a project?”

He hesitated. Then he rose.  
“We will continue the conversation in my private rooms.”  
“If I feel like it.” She muttered under her breath.  
The helmet slid over his face.  
“Prepare to exit the ship.” 

Once the ramp was lowered, there was no turning back.  
Kylo walked close behind her. She had refused to put on any shackles and strangely, he had accepted it. Instead, his hand was on her shoulder in a guard-like manner.  
They walked out into a vast docking bay, crammed with shining war ships of different models. The scavenger in her started to calculate the value of them before she caught herself. 

They were not alone.  
A whole crowd had assembled, including rows of Stormtroopers and pilots. At the front stood a red haired officer with a tall Stormtrooper in chrome armor at his side. A few other officers lingered in the background.  
Kylo walked them straight to the red head.

“Ren.” The red head said.” I see you are no longer missing. And have had a successful hunt by the looks of it.”  
“General Hux.” Kylo said, nodding. “The girl is under my supervision now. I will personally oversee her stay here.”  
The General knitted his eyebrows. He cast a quick glance at her.  
“So…there will be no security issues, I trust?”

“None.”  
They started to walk out towards a wide corridor. General Hux joined them at Kylo’s side and the chrome-clad stormtrooper followed.  
“This is very good timing indeed.” The General said. “Our Supreme Leader wants an update on your progress with this project. And we need all information that The Resistance has to make sure they will not interfere with our next move.”

“Patience, General.” Kylo said. “A project like this requires delicacy and tact.”  
Rey and the general snorted in unison. Their eyes met in absolute understanding, before they resumed ignoring each other.  
“Did you just lecture me on patience, delicacy and tact?” Hux said. “This mission has done you good. We will need answers hastily, though. I shall send the interrogation droids to your door at once.”

“I will interrogate the girl personally. There will be no need for droids.”  
“Your experience in this matter says differently.”  
“The circumstances have changed. I will have results within 24 hours.”  
“That is your call. But do not fail. You have been gone for a long time and The Supreme Leader demands proof of progress.”  
“He shall have it.”

The General nodded and left, taking the stormtrooper with him.  
After a long, silent walk and an elevator ride to the top floor, they reached a private corridor guarded by Stormtroopers.  
They stopped outside a wide, black door. It slid open with a hissing sound and he steered them inside, letting the door close behind them.  
“Welcome to my quarters.” He said.  
Rey tried to hide her reaction, but it was hard not to let the jaw drop. 

They were inside a generous apartment with light gray metal walls. The immediate eye catcher was the huge window displaying the star-clustered space outside.  
There were black leather armchairs next to it, a wide desk with top notch computers further away and a dinner table with only one chair. Two doors were at the other side of the room.  
“Would you like to eat something?” He said.

“Are we alone now?”  
“We are.”  
“Great.”  
She walked to one of the armchairs and sat down, gazing out the window.  
“Rey…”  
“I am not talking to you.”

“You better, if we are to resolve this.”  
“There is only one way to resolve this and that is letting me go.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Then we are not talking.”  
She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to gather enough calm to think.

Part of her really wanted their adventure to last longer.  
There was also a part of her that understood him all too well. If she had been in his situation, would she have passed on the temptation to keep him close?  
She did not cope with separation very well and apparently, neither did he.  
The scene from his youth flashed by; embracing his parents for the last time before boarding a ship that would ultimately bring him to _this_.

He took the helmet off and kneeled in front of her. Now he was this other person again, the warm one who served her food and stroked her cheeks gently when she went to sleep.  
“I only need a little time here.” He said. “Then we could go somewhere… to Bespin as planned if you like.”  
She fought to resist the soft voice.

“What were you thinking?” She asked.  
“Truthfully?”  
“Yes.”  
“I improvised.”  
“You…improvised?”

“I am trying to buy us time.” He laid his hand over hers. “What harm would it do if you remained with me for another week? Or two?”  
“How about the interrogation plans? Your friend wanted to get information from me.”  
“We’ll just tell him something. Anything.”  
“And the leader who wanted results?”

His face lost the little color it had.  
“Would you like to take a shower?” he said. “The water is hot. I could wash your hair. And the rest of you.”  
She stared at him in disbelief.  
“I am not going to take a shower with you until you learn to keep your word.”

He rose. His eyes flickered back and forth or a moment. Then he grabbed the other armchair and sent it into the wall with a loud bang.  
“Do you know why you’re here?” he shouted. “Because I knew you would leave me once we got to Bespin!”  
“You know nothing about that!”

“Oh, but I do! You have all these _heroes_ waiting for you at home, dying to make you happy! And what can I do? How will you look at me the next time I strike against The Resistance?”  
Rey got up from the chair and grabbed his arm.  
“Then don’t strike against us!”  
“The Resistance should stop striking against _us!_ ”

Their eyes remained locked for a few seconds.  
He blinked first.  
“I know fully well that you wish to forget this ever happened.” He said. “But even though you are furious, at least you are with me.”  
She sighed. The anger seeped out with the exhale.

“You are unbelievably slow sometimes.” She took a step forward and put her arms around him. “I was going to stay with you on Bespin for a while. I don’t even know how I would be able to leave you.”  
“Really?”  
“M-hm. I was thinking about kidnapping you.”

“How?”  
“I’ll keep that a secret, in case I’ll need it later.”  
“How fortunate then, that I got to you first.”  
His hands wandered around her waist, sliding lower.  
She gave him the sternest look she could manage. 

“I want to be able to trust you.” She said. “There are not a lot of people I have met that I could rely on and it matters to me that you are an exception.”  
“Give me three days.” He said. “Then we’ll fly to Bespin. I only need a little time here to make it look less suspicious.”

“Three days? As your prisoner?”  
Lips brushed against her ear.  
“I’ll take good care of you. I might have to keep you a bit…restrained at times, but if you play along nicely you will be rewarded.”  
“You better make it worth my while.”

“Do we have a deal?”  
“Not a day longer.”  
“You have my word.”  
She made a small sneering sound, but leaned her head against his chest.  
“Come.” He said. “Let me show you the rest of the prison.”

That little smirk crept over his lips, making him impossible to refuse. He led her by the hand through one of the doors, into a bedroom with the most generous bed she had ever seen.  
The interior was sterile; only the bed with its black sheets and a table at its side with a holo book on. A circular window covered most of a wall, making the stars and planets outside a part of the room’s decoration.

He slid behind her and held her hips.  
“You will sleep with me.” He said. “So that I can keep an eye on you.”  
“That sounds like a very good idea.”  
When she turned her head to kiss him, she caught sight of something opposite the bed. 

Sturdy metal loops hung from the wall. Four at the height of her head, two at waist-height and several further down. There were thick leather straps hanging from each one of them with adjustable locks.  
Her face started to throb with a familiar heat.  
“What is that?” She asked in a small voice.

In the corner of her eye she could see a blush spreading over his cheeks.  
“That was…for when I had caught you. If I had to interrogate you…” His arm hooked her waist and pressed her closer. “…then you should be kept in check. You are dangerous, little prisoner.” He kissed her ear softly, making her entire body tingle.  
“I still have to interrogate you, though.” He added, trailing a hand down her arm. “I might have use for it yet.”

Her head spun. Cursing her weakness for him, she followed him through another door to a bathroom with a broad shower cabin.  
“So.” He said, facing her. “Should you remove your clothes or should I do it?”  
Rey started to untie her trousers with a burning head. She nailed her eyes to the feet. He put a finger under her chin and lifted it, keeping her face visible as she worked with trembling hands.

When the last garment fell to the floor, she braced herself, covering her chest self-consciously. There was something very intimate in this game that made her naked skin seem all the more vulnerable.  
“Go stand over there.” He said, pointing to the shower cabin. “Inside it.”  
She did as told, trying not to meet his steady gaze as he undressed. Sensing his hunger was more than enough to cause a spontaneous combustion.

Then he joined her in the shower, naked and boldly close, towering over her as he turned the water on. Warm, skin-prickling water rained over them.  
“Turn around.” He said.  
She turned and put her hands on the tiled wall. His fingers ran over her body, as if searching her, ending up covering her hands.  
Her thighs were no longer dry. 

“You smuggled four weapons on board this ship, into my rooms.” His voice was deceptively soft. “Two blasters, a lightsaber and your little knife.”  
His hands felt huge over hers. One of them slipped down to her belly.  
For a moment, his mind connected with hers, searching for approval. She bared her thoughts, letting her pride go.  
The breath got stuck in his throat, or he held it.

Then it happened, just the way she had hoped.  
He leaned his weight on her, pressing her flat against the wall. Then there was this familiar nudge against her opening. She made a loud gasp as it came in a little too fast. The moment his hard thrusts started, she was lost in a storm at sea, devoured with every surge of the waves crashing violently against the shore.

Every jab felt like a near climax, a force that was fated to make her drown in delirious madness. She was lifted with an arm tightly around her waist, getting locked between him and the wall. The increasing force in his thrusts prompted a startled cry from her. His breathing was fierce against her ear.  
“I love you!” It came blurting out of her without intention.

“Say it again!”  
“I love you!”  
He pulled out, turned her and pushed back in again. She put her arms and legs around him, pressing against his belly. There was a dizzying contraction between her legs. He had his brow against hers, riding her hard against the tile and breathing into her mouth as she breathed into his.

“You love _this?_ ” He hissed.  
“Yes!”  
She was sobbing now, the pleasure too overwhelming to withstand.  
Their lips crushed against each other; tongues were engaging in a wet fight.  
He pulled her ribbons off, letting the hair flow freely down her shoulders in dripping waves. She grabbed his hair in return, pulling it hard as the explosion tried to break through.

“I’m close!”  
“You’re coming, Rey. Say it!”  
“I’m…coming!”  
His gaze made it happen. She held on to it for as long as she could, until the waves pounding out of her became too strong. It was hardly over before he put her down, made her face the wall once more and rubbed the pleasure out between her buttocks.

They were both gasping, sinking down to the cabin floor and holding on to each other tightly. First they lay on the drenched tiles, exchanging kisses and strokes. Then he pulled them up sitting, cradling her in his arms.  
Slowly and tenderly, he washed her hair. She held her eyes closed all the while, wishing time would stop and let it continue forever.

Afterwards, he carried her over to the bed and dried her until the skin was humming lecherously. She pulled him down and took the towel, starting to dry him with great care. His pleasure was openly felt. She left a trail of kisses over him until he drew her into an embrace and kissed her.  
“Wait for me here, little princess. I will be right back.”  
She was swept into the large, soft cover. He kissed her brow and wrapped the towel around his hips before leaving the room.  
Rey sighed contently and laid down, marveling at how soft the bed was. Being his prisoner was not all that bad. 

Her eyes fell on the bedside table, at a holo book lying there.  
She reached for it. As soon as she activated the device, it revealed a page in the middle of a book. The names Anakin and Padme was mentioned several times. She started to browse through it at first, but got caught up and started to read it thoroughly. The book obviously focused on an affair between the infamous Anakin Skywalker and his secret wife, senator Padme.

It was so captivating that she hardly noticed him coming back.  
“What are you doing with that book?”  
“I didn’t know you were into romantic stories.” She said, throwing a quick glance at him.  
His cheeks got red very quickly.  
“It’s not romance, it’s a history book.”

“The title is ‘The Secret Romance’.”  
“It’s misleading.”  
“If you say so.” She smiled widely.  
He threw himself at her. She laughed as he wrestled the book from her hands. The fight turned into kissing and soon they were making out. Rey slid her hand over his upper arm, but came to a halt as she felt a new scar.

It was a fresh line of stitches, about half a thumb long. The skin around it had a reddish mark on it, shaped as a square. Her ears got warm. She had seen that before, on men and women in The Resistance who wished to have intercourse without children as a result.  
“Did you…do that now?” She asked.  
“Yes. I sent for a medical droid. You know what it means, don’t you?”

She nodded, wishing her ears would stop burning.  
“It means” he continued, “the next time I _take_ you…”  
“I know.” She dropped her eyelids, feeling strangely shy.  
“I also sent for clothes your size. You should get dressed. There will be dinner outside soon. Just make sure the clothes are easily removed.” He kissed her mouth.

A servant droid appeared with a stack of neatly folded garments. Shirts and underwear were plain white, while the rest was the same grey as the outfit she was given from The Resistance. She dressed in loose fitting soldier pants and a tank top, fixing her hair in a loose braid. He dressed as well, hardly taking his eyes from her.

“If I turned up the thermostat, would you walk around exactly like that while here, only without the trousers?”  
She scoffed and shook her head.  
“You would keep the top and panties, of course.” He added.  
“Kylo!”

He shrugged and gave her a wry smile.  
“If you walked around completely naked, only with the towel around your hip, I would think about it.” She said.  
“I could do that.”  
She rolled her eyes, but the idea was not unpleasant.  
Taking her hand, he led her out to the dinner table.

It was set with fine plates and cutlery, accompanied with two shining glasses on each side of the table. One decanter contained a transparent beverage and another something red, presumably wine. There were larger plates and bowls on the table, with spice-smelling steaks, vegetables of all kinds, assorted fruits and three different sauces.  
She gaped at it.

There were two chairs at the table now. He pulled one out. She went to the other one.  
“Rey. I am holding the chair for you.”  
She frowned.  
“Why?”  
“Why? To be polite.”

“I can pull a chair out myself.”  
“I know that.”  
She tipped her head to the side and looked at him. Then she pulled the other chair out and made an inviting gesture. Despite his defiant gaze, he walked over and sat. She kissed him on the head and took place at her end of the table.

“You are a mystery.” He said. “But I find it very appealing when you serve me.”  
“Likewise. The food smells fantastic!”  
“Help yourself.”  
Rey was over the food instantly. When she tasted the different dishes it was with a nearly religious reverence; eyes closed and tongue taking all aspects of the flavor in. 

“It’s amazing.” She murmured.  
“On Bespin, you will have food for royalty.”  
“It can’t be better than this.”  
“It is. But if you look like that while eating, I will have to kill all bystanders.”  
“You will behave. Or I’ll take your lightsaber away from you. You know I can do it.”

He stared at her. She flashed him a cheeky smile.  
“You should be careful. There can be consequences to what you say.”  
“I bet.” She kept eating, enjoying the meat as well as the warm stir between her legs.  
“I mean it.”  
“I know.”

He poured wine in her glass.  
Taking a sip, she grimaced and gasped.  
“It’s strong!”  
“That is the point.”  
“I have never had wine before.”

“Have you never been intoxicated?”  
“No.”  
“You should try it.”  
She glared at him.  
“Don’t worry.” He said in a soothing voice. “I’ll take care of you.”

“How will you take care of me, exactly?”  
“Any way you like.”  
“Why aren’t _you_ drinking?”  
He filled his glass with wine and lifted it in a greeting. Then he gulped it all down and put it down steadily. 

Rey brought the glass to her mouth and emptied it, coughing as she put it down.  
He smirked and filled both their glasses again.  
It did not take long until her head was spinning. Even though the body felt heavy and clumsy, her muscles relaxed in a comfortable, numbing way.

She ate until there was no more room in her stomach. Scuffing the chair out, she stretched her legs and sank down, letting out a content moan.  
Then she gazed at him, feeling his slight drunkenness as well as his hunger for her.  
“Do you know how hot you are?” She said, thinking it as the words came out.  
“You think so?”  
“I can’t look at you without thinking things…I shouldn’t be thinking.”

“You have no idea what I want to do to you right now.”  
“No”, she said, standing up. “ _You_ have no idea what I want to do.”  
She walked up to him, staggering slightly, and straddled his lap. His hands were around her instantly, stroking her back and butt.  
Her hips started to move against him slowly. 

“I want you inside me.” She whispered in his ear. “Then I want to ride you till I come and come and come… is that how you say it? And then, I want you to take over, hold me down and come… inside me.”  
“Rey…”  
“I wanted to kill you. For a very long time. Now I just can’t stop thinking about your eyes, your arms and sexy scars…”

He lifted her as he rose; holding her tightly as if there was a risk of her trying to escape. Then he marched into the bedroom and threw her on the bed, pulling her pants off. She attacked him, tearing his trousers off as well and got on top, struggling to remove the rest of his clothes.  
Her movements were not as precise as usual, but then again, neither was his. 

His naked crotch had become very hard against hers. His arm held her locked against him while he moved inside, making her moan loudly from the maddening sensation. She had not noticed how wet she had become or how much she needed release.  
Now she rode him shamelessly, moaning and gasping, giving him wet, deep kisses as the pleasure kept building. 

“It’s so good…!” She whimpered, drowning in how he filled and stretched her, how it felt every time she nudged against his stomach and made him slide in deeper.  
He grabbed her breasts and she leaned against his hands, feeling the first spasms stealing all remaining common sense.  
The waves came in hard this time, making her cry out and grind desperately against him; all to make it last as long as possible.

Afterwards, she took only a moment to catch her breath before she started to move again, encouraged by his strokes and kisses. There was a certain soreness, but somehow it added to a wicked excitement; forbidden and therefore all the more sweet.  
She kissed and licked the scars over his chest, sensing his arousal increase and his effort to hold back.  
“Not yet.” She groaned. “I’m close again…”

The climax was indeed within reach much quicker. She was more sensitive and open, already in a divine buzz from the first time. When it broke out she was overtaken by the intensity, her legs shaking and sex cramping uncontrollably against him.  
His arm was once again holding her fixed to the pleasure while his hand clutched her breast.  
Both their skins were damp and hot as she kept moving, not finding an end to it even though it settled down. 

“Take me.” She gasped. “Please… do it!”  
The last word was hardly out when he rolled on top and grabbed her wrists, pinning them down over her head.  
“Oh, I’ll take you, in _all_ ways possible. I’ll make sure you can’t walk after I’m done with you!”

His teeth were at her throat, biting and sucking hard while the thrusts came with a maddening harshness. She made startled, wanton cries, leaning into the pleasure of being an object for his urges. Just as she thought she could not stand anymore, he released her throat and looked her in the eyes, clenching his teeth as he squeezed her wrists harder.  
“I don’t know how you invaded me with such ease.” He hissed. “It is only fair that I invade you back!”

She made a compliant noise, going out of her mind as the thrusts intensified. When his explosive ecstasy rushed into her, she felt it in her own body, arching her back and crying out with him. He pushed and pushed, making it last longer than expected. It was dripping out of her before he had even finished.  
When he collapsed on her, they were still united in a sticky mess, her legs weak enough to really make walking a problem.

His fingers brushed the wetness between them.  
He kissed her affectionately before resting his head on her shoulder.  
“No matter how much I crave to possess you,” He murmured. “I am the one being your slave.”  
“I _am_ yours.” She whispered.  
Rey dozed off as her heart regained its normal pace, the wine and activity taking its toll.

In the mists of sleep they changed positions, him lying close behind her with arms locking them together. She fit perfectly in his embrace, like a piece of a puzzle. With his soft kiss on her neck she drifted back into sleep, welcomed by pleasant dreams. 

***

A sharp signal woke them up.  
Kylo was at his feet fast, disappearing into the main room to take the call. The red haired general’s voice rang out from a speaker, but she could not make the words out since the door was closed. Her captor spoke back with a quiet but commanding voice, carrying an edge of annoyance.

He came back to the bedroom with a frown, creeping up from behind and winding an arm around her with a hand on her breast. She was amazed by how quickly the nipple stiffened in response.  
“What did he want?”  
“Information…from you.”  
“Hm.”

Her head was throbbing with a dull pain. Tongue and mouth was dryer than the Jakku desert.  
Walking back out, he returned with the decanter containing water. They took turns drinking from it.  
“That is what happens from too much wine.” He said.  
“It was kind of worth it.”  
“It was.”

Rey found her tank top and pulled it over her head.  
“We need to give him what he wants.” She said, putting a fresh pair of panties on.  
“You have a plan.”  
“Not a complete one, but I think I know how to give us inspiration to come up with something really brilliant.”  
“Really?"

She left the bed and backed up against the wall slowly, making sure her waist was right between the two sturdy metal loops. Then she lifted her hands and placed them on each side of her head, letting her wrists creep into the restraints.  
A shockingly strong wave of arousal came from him. His gaze devoured her as he put his clothes on, adding the dark gloves to the intimidating outfit.  
She waited patiently, wincing from the way he looked at her.

Then he walked up to her and started to fasten the straps with great care, until her wrists, upper arms, waist, thighs and ankles nailed her to the wall with legs parted.  
She was still a little drowsy, but as he came close enough to brush against her and gripped her chin to look her in the eye, her heart started to run faster.  
“I trust you.” She said.  
“But should you?” He replied, a cold smirk flickering over his lips before the grip on her chin hardened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for some twists and especially for some dirty games in the next chapter. xxx


	8. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy, have i been gone a long time! As you might have read, I was suffering from a disease and for a while there I got a lot worse. My survival was not taken for granted, but like every wicked seed I bounced back. Even though i'm still recovering, I am well enough to continue this story now. I really, really hope that there's any readers left. Please give me a shout in the comment section if you are still following this. It would mean a lot and I would know who is still out there.  
> This chapter goes into smut central and throws our heroine between conflicting emotions.  
> And FYI, Fifty shades of Ren coming up. But you've seen the labels, so we're cool, right?  
> Lots of love to you all and I am so crazily excited about all the Reylo-possibilities in the new trailer and poster!
> 
> May the force be with you. Always.

The leather-covered hand on her chin marked the start. Of what was not quite clear, but something had changed.  
He eyed her so intensely. She swallowed. Then she tried the straps, jerking her arms and legs to find how immobilized she was. Why was her head spinning like this?  
“Is this how you wanted me?” She said quietly. “In these clothes, on this wall?”  
“And that braid. Yes.” His hand slid down to her neck. “I can take whatever I want from you now.”  
Dizziness again. He had said something similar before. This was not at all how she had reacted then. 

“You are not hiding anything from me, are you?” He said softly, letting the hands slide over her arms and then down her body, slowly.  
She pressed her head back against the wall, breathing in short gasps as the leather of his gloves made tickling strokes. He was thorough, leaving no part of her upper body untouched. Her skin was prickling, heating up to a fever. 

Just as he seemed to be done, he went beneath her tank top, conducting the same meticulous search. When he found her breasts he squeezed them firmly, forcing a wanton cry from her.   
He took his time with them, causing her panties to overflow with hot juices.   
Rey closed her eyes, unable to meet his invasive gaze.

The hands slid out of the tank top. A finger pulled at the lining of her underwear.  
Then a hand went beneath the fabric. He let a finger rub against the moist opening.   
She moaned, losing pride and self-restraint by the second.  
“Such a sweet little thing you are.” He said, close to her ear. “So willing to please me.”

Any attempt to lean her hips against him was useless. The helplessness was maddening.  
When his finger pushed inside, she nearly fainted. Sounds came out of her mouth, more alike pleading than pleasure.   
“You will give me what I want.” He said. “Won’t you?” A smooth, comforting voice.

He was taking her, using only a hand, with the palm pressing against her sensitive knob. A finger was pushing in and withdrawing repeatedly until she lost her mind.  
“Please! Let me… let me…”  
“Let you what? Let you come?”  
“Yes! Please!”

The hand stopped moving. She fought in vain to move her hips.  
“You need to give me something first.”  
She whimpered.  
“The Resistance, Rey. What are they planning?”

There was no mental invasion; only a soft, persistent connection between them, allowing both to feel each other’s sensations. Still, she opened her eyes and looked at him to make sure.  
“I’ll tell you…nothing.”  
“We’ll see.”  
The hand moved again, more intensely. It made her cry out.

“I could keep you as my toy.” He said. “It pleases me to see how obedient you are.”  
The release was close enough to cause a humming in the tiny nerves against the glove.   
Again, it stopped.   
“No...!”   
She glared at him.  
“You know what I want.”

“Nothing… they are planning nothing.”  
“That is not good enough.”  
The hand started to withdraw from her.  
“Ships!” She blurted out, grasping for any straw of imagination she could find in this delirious state. “They’re getting fast ships!”

The hand slid back into place, but it did not move.  
“Ships?”  
“Yes.”  
“How will they get those ships?”  
“Um… someone builds them.”  
“Who?”

She held a mental knife against the throat of her imagination, forcing it to move faster.  
“A watery planet. Oceans.”  
“Kamino?”  
“Uh-huh.”   
“What will they do with these ships?”

“I don’t know. Please!”  
“You will tell me.”  
“Defend something… that you’ll attack.”  
Finally, the hand resumed its pleasant rhythm. She felt weightless, unsure of which direction gravity was pulling her in. 

“Very good.” He said. “I should let you come. Can you do it on my command?”  
She nodded frantically, his words and his fiery pleasure giving a startling resonance in her blood.  
His other hand came up under the tank top and clutched her breast.   
“Come for me now.”

It took only two more thrusts with his finger before it was embraced in fiery contractions, accompanied by her wails. His breath was on her mouth, his eyes on hers.   
The orgasm was disintegrating, emptying her of all remaining common sense.   
It kept coming, spasm after spasm, ebbing out gradually but keeping a vibrating seed in its core that would not let it die out completely. 

The hand moved again in the same rhythm, even as her head fell back against the wall and her limbs weighed against their bonds.  
The restraints seemed to be the only thing holding her upright.  
He slowed down and eased the pressure. She had barely drawn a deep sigh before the finger slid in again, this time in company with another finger, stretching her as it struggled to fit.

“O-oh!” She gasped, her eyes opening wide in surprise. Then she closed them again, overtaken by the renewed appetite.  
“Did you think I was done with you?”  
The palm teased her again, circling softly enough to reignite the discharged, sore nerves. 

She was panting, turning her head away in embarrassment as new, warm wetness flowed over his fingers.   
He took her jaw and moved her face back into view, not stopping the stimulation for a second.   
“I believe you have more to give me.” He said, tenderly, with a reproaching edge as if he was speaking to a child. “Since you are so eager to please me, I might as well take advantage of you.”

The strong suction in her stomach brought shivers through every limb.   
Feverishly hot and damp, she surrendered to the ministrations of the hand and welcomed the naked urgency as it built and built under his supervision.   
White sizzling threads spread from the tip of his fingers and grew in her belly like the roots of a plant.

“You are close again. Shall we see how obedient you are?”  
She bit her lip hard, hyperventilating when the strokes became longer and harsher, adding to the pressure until it boiled over.  
“Come.”  
His command threw the pulsating wet heat into cramps, ripping her open with new intensity.

There was nothing to do but trying to stand the ecstasy as it came raging in burning ripples. Caught in the strong currents, she breathed his name, over and over until her voice was lost beneath the waves.   
He tasted her neck; sucked at it while she was still trying to catch her breath.   
Shivers broke out over the skin. Every muscle tensed until it shook and lost its strength.

She sagged against the restraints, the head only held up by his hand.  
Her body had succumbed to a soft, compliant mode; awaiting the sound of his low, seductive voice, the strokes of his gloved fingers as he rewarded her obedience with affectionate kisses on the face and neck.

The fingers had not stopped; they only slowed down and seemed to search her insides for something, pressing lightly against several spots until…  
She gasped loudly. There were a number of contractions. For a second it seemed as if the mind blowing pleasure would start again.

“You are still ready for me.” He breathed against her ear. “I can feel it, through the leather. Like a small vibration against my fingers.”  
Her sex was acting on its own. The previous climaxes seemed to have stripped it from every protective barrier that sheltered it from too strong sensations. It was raw and naked now, pumping its arousal into the blood, making every part of her throb with it. 

He teased that little spot, circled, stroked and pushed it until tears fell down her cheeks.  
“It’s too good…!” She whimpered. “Something… something is…oh please…!”  
She met his eyes. Seconds later, the explosion came in violent twitches.

She cried out with every breath, her voice only broken by sobs. There was a resonance all the way down to her toes. Feet and hands bent and curled. Muscles tensed so hard it was painful. But the shocks that had her shaking in cramps made even that feel pleasant.   
She must have blacked out. His kisses made her aware of the surroundings again. The leather straps were opened. Legs first, then thighs.

He wrapped his arm around her waist to hold her steady before the last shackles were gone. Cheeks still wet and breath shaky, she leaned against him. He swept her up and carried her to the bed. Slowly and carefully, he put her down on her knees by the foot of it. Squatting behind her, his thumbs wiped her cheeks.  
“Are you able to finish this?” He asked.

She nodded, turned her head and kissed his thumb. There was a harsh rustling of clothes behind her. Then a familiar clank as his belt fell to the floor. She leaned over the bed and drew deep breaths, trembling from the exhaustion.   
Her panties were pulled down with some effort, as they were soaked and sticking to her skin. He parted her legs.

She gasped loudly as he pushed in, moaning in time with his fast, nudging thrusts. Her thoughts were swimming in a shapeless mess, as if she had emptied the wine bottle all by herself. He leaned over her back, entwining his fingers with hers, kissing her head, neck and cheeks. His release was very near and the realization startled her. She would feel his climax as strongly as she had done her own. 

The inevitable invasion shot into her and she shook and twitched, eaten by a simmering fever.  
He made loud noises while finishing and collapsed over her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.   
They were breathing together in silence. His skin, the little she felt of it, was as hot and trembling as hers. There was no dry spot on her. Her insides seemed swollen, the nerves inside out and pressed wet and naked against his limb.

They had melted together in that private place, perfectly joined as halves of a whole. As if the galaxy willed it. Gently, without drawing out, he scuffed them both up to the bed and had them laid down together in the same tight embrace. Her back and thighs fit perfectly against his chest and thighs.  
There was no other truth. 

She held on to his hand, searching it with her lips. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head; then another kiss. And another. She moaned quietly.   
Gradually, they both surrendered to the drowsiness and fell asleep, entangled in each other’s minds. She fell backwards, into his boundless affection.

***

Fingers moved through her hair, stroking the scalp lightly. She winced and sighed, breathing his warm presence in. He was no longer inside her. She turned and buried her face in his chest, tugging at the tunic he still wore. He removed it, along with the rest of his clothes.  
They crept under the covers and placed a hand on each other’s cheek. Their eyes met.

The dark lord had been peeled off with the clothes.   
Those dark eyes held vulnerability and a soft, curious mischief. For the first time she saw and sensed something she had not dared to hope for.  
This was Kylo- or Ben- at the core, despite what time and experience had shaped him into.  
Maybe it was no more than a small shard of what he could have been, but it was there.

She ran her fingers carefully over his face, placing a soft kiss on his mouth. He drew her closer and leaned in for another kiss.   
“I like your toys.” She whispered.  
“I like how you play with them.”  
“I don’t want you to feel used.”

He batted both eyebrows.  
“Used? _Me?”_  
“I mean, I hope you enjoyed it too, that you got something out of…”  
He put a finger on her mouth.  
“It was perfect.” He said.

Smiling, she kissed the finger.   
“How did you learn to do all these…things? How can you know about how to…you know…do what we are doing?”  
He gave her a wry but warm smile.  
“Unlike you, I was never isolated on a savage planet. Also, having access to your thoughts helps a lot.” The finger slid down her chin and throat. “You are very gifted at this yourself.”

With a warm face, she opened her mouth and closed it again. Perhaps it was best not to say what she was thinking.  
His eyes narrowed.  
“It is because we are a perfect match.” He said. “That is what you are thinking. You might as well have said it.”

She lowered her eyelids.   
“You have no idea how deeply I wish…” She began. Then she sighed and swallowed the last words.  
“We’ll work it out.” He said. “We have to. There is no other path…”  
The familiar signal rang out from his computer. He bit his lip, but did not move.

“I was saying…” he continued.  
“Aren’t you going to answer?”  
“I have more important things to do.”  
“If you don’t, they might think that I’ve overpowered you and escaped or something. People might come barging in here.”

He frowned, but surrendered to the logic and rose from bed, marching out to the other room.  
“Don’t move!” He called to her.  
She smiled and grabbed the holo book, piling the cushions up behind her back.  
As the door slid shut behind him and the conversation on the radio became a vague murmur, Anakin’s and Padme’s fate stole her attention once more.

He entered the room after a while, visibly annoyed.  
“There will be a meeting in one hour.” He said.   
“Come back here.”  
He joined her in bed immediately, resting his head on her shoulder.  
“The book again?” He asked.

“Would you want me to read aloud for you?”  
“Yes.”  
He closed his eyes and wound his arm around her. She buried a hand in his hair and started reading the chapter from the beginning. The text painted an idyllic scene of the two lovers at a palace on Naboo, with servants and other staff recalling conversations, stolen glances and intimate touching. There were blue skies, green fields and snow covered mountains. 

As the chapter ended, she was deep in thought.  
“What happened to them?” She said.   
“It’s complicated.”  
“How can it be? They seem to have been made for one another. How can anything have come between them?”

He lifted his head and looked at her, stroking a strand of hair from her brow.  
“It might have been different.” He said. “Other circumstances could have changed everything.”  
“But Anakin went on to become Darth Vader.”  
“Yes.”

“And Padme?”  
“She died.”  
“How?”  
He sat up, gathering her in his arms.  
“I would never do anything that would lead to your death.” He said. “You know that by now, don’t you?”

“Why are you telling me…” She held her breath. “Anakin? Anakin murdered Padme?”  
“Not on purpose. He was very strong and new to the overwhelming power of the dark side.”  
Rey wriggled out of his embrace and sat up on her knees in front of him.  
“So she just happened to have an accident? Are you defending what he did?”  
“Vader was stronger than any other force user before him. Not only in power, but in mind. He turned every setback into fuel for his resolve.”

“Still, he waited for that moment his entire life, where he could finally make the right decision!” Rey spat.  
“What are you…”  
“He died for his son. Luke and Leia told me.”  
Kylo’s lips shaped into a thin line.

“He had one weak moment…”  
“Why weak? What if that was his strongest moment? The thing he wanted most of all? The one thing he was ready to die for?”  
“That’s not what it was.”  
“Really? So if you would have a child with someone you love, you would let that child die if The First Order demanded it?”

“Are you thinking that you and I…?  
An awkward silence filled the room. Rey’s cheeks were burning without a logical explanation. His cheeks had color as well.  
“How would that ever happen?” She murmured. “You’d stab me in the back the first chance you’d get. And if, the force forbid it, we ever had a child, I would make sure you were nowhere near it!”

“How can you say that!”  
He grabbed her arm. She jerked it out of his grip immediately.  
“I forget who you are.” She said.   
“You know who I am! Rey, you know that I would never…”  
“No? And if your master ordered it? Like he did your father?”

It was one step too far.  
He rose from the bed and walked out of the room. She could hear all kinds of turmoil from the other side of the door. He even roared from the frustration.   
She remained in the same position until he returned, giving him the same demanding stare as before.

He was soaked in sweat. His eyes were flashing underneath unkempt locks of dark hair.  
“Don’t…you…ever…pretend…to…understand.” He panted.  
“But I do understand! I know how it tortures you! And I know that the only thing that will free you will be what freed Darth Vader!  
“ _To die?_ ”  
“ _To make the right decision!_ ”

“Have you ever considered that this was the right decision? That this is what brings me on the right path to the fate I want?”  
“I have.” She nodded. “But then I saw that it was impossible. The path that is right for you would never make you this miserable.”  
He glared, but remained silent.

“I am not miserable now.” He finally said.  
“Don’t.”  
“You… complete me. You are the missing part that makes me whole.”  
“Oh, please!”  
He sat down on the bed, his gaze a little softer.

“You are the sun piercing complete darkness. And yet, you rest contently in my shadow when the day is done. We are not meant to be apart.”  
She let out a deep sigh and rolled her eyes, but the words were affecting her more than she would like to admit.  
He touched her arm gently. She allowed it to happen.

“If there was no war,” He said, “But just you and me. Would you spend your life with me then? Share everything with me?”  
“How do you mean?”  
“There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for you.” He caressed her cheek. “If you would have taken the oath with me.”

“The oath?”  
He moved closer, his lips only inches from hers.  
“In marriage.”  
She scoffed. His kiss landed on her cheek. She could smell the hot salt on his skin.  
“You have lost your mind.” 

“Have I? Then what is the option? To live as enemies until one of us finishes the other?”  
“There are other options.” She whispered, sounding more uncertain than she wanted.  
“Is there another force user who you share this deep connection with? If not, I don’t see why you would object.”  
“You really don’t see that?”  
“I would not ask you to change anything.”  
“Well, that is just it. I would ask that of _you._ ” 

The flickering, tortured restlessness was back inside him. His gaze was partly pleading, partly accusing.  
“Technically, Anakin did not kill Padme.” He said. “She died later, presumably in childbirth. Although it is sometimes said that their last meeting was to blame for her health condition.”   
“Is that supposed to make everything he did all right?”

“I’m saying, that I do not believe that he would consciously hurt her if he had a choice. But since he would not abandon the path he knew was right for him, she refused to follow and it is said that she died of a broken heart.”  
Rey huffed.  
“I would _never_ do that. I would never lie down and have my heart broken because of you. If you do one more horrible thing in front of me, The Force help me, I will…!” She drew a short breath.

His pleased expression made the adrenaline pump faster.  
“You will not consider a future with me.” He said. “Still, you compare us to the married couple in the book.”  
She shook her head. The anger plumbed into the stomach and weighed silently like a cold stone.

“I should go.” She said, reaching for her pants.  
“Go?! Where?”  
“Out. Away.”  
“You can’t just leave! This ship is heavily guarded. You won’t find any…”  
“Well, I should not be here!”  
“Look at me!”

When she looked away he went down on his knees, taking her hands.  
“I do think about it.” He whispered. “Sometimes. What it would be like… who I would be if I had chosen a different path.”  
She met his eyes. They were open portals to the familiar struggle.  
“If you had kept your name.” She said, stroking his cheek gently. “Remained a Jedi.”

“I was never a Jedi. In training, yes, but never fully a Jedi. Luke knew. I think he knew…”  
The stone inside dissolved. At this moment, he was so impossibly vulnerable.  
“I see the light in you.” She said. “As much as the darkness. I don’t know what to make of it. Did you ever consider a third path? Like the independent force users you spoke about?”  
“I believe in the path I follow.”

“I just wish…” She swallowed the remaining words.  
He took her face in his hands.  
“You have no idea of the disaster you bring into my life.” He said. “Every part of me burns for you. My head, my heart, my flesh…”

His mouth were over hers, stifling the last word. It was impossible to resist his soft touch, his slow tasting of her mouth. She laid back and pulled him on top, spreading her legs to let him inside.  
Their frustrations melted together, fueling the desire.   
His kisses travelled downwards, playing on her stomach before reaching the blissful spot, making her whisper and moan confirming words.

With his first licks, she pulled the tank top off and was rewarded with his hand over her breast. She gripped his wrist to hold the hand in place, rolling her hips up against him and clutching his hair.  
It was so sweetly itching, him working just a little too slow, building it up with such a powerful fundament to support the sizzling rocket that shot out and exploded with shivers and contractions.

When the orgasm had been thoroughly sucked out, he came back up and entered her, sliding in and out with the mess he had made, stiffening with sharp thrusts as he added more dripping wetness inside her and letting his head down on her chest when he was finished.  
“You.” He panted. “It’s like drinking from a deep lake and remaining forever thirsty.”  
“You can drink from this lake anytime, my dark poet.” She murmured.

“I’m serious.”   
“Mmm, so am I.”  
They met in drowsy kisses and strokes, making her skin tingle and buzz with pleasure and her juices flow renewed.   
They were in the middle of a deep kiss that promised another upcoming climax when a strange sounding alarm cut through the air.

“It’s the door.” He grumbled. “I’ve clearly expressed that no one is to disturb me.”  
“Kylo, what time is it?”  
He froze and stared at her. Then he went to check the computer. He jumped into his trousers the moment he came back.  
“I’m late.” He said; cursing under his breath as garment after garment was put on in a haste.

“Has an hour gone by already?”  
“And twenty minutes after that.”  
“Oh!”  
He went out to fetch his helmet and came back with it under his arm. Something made him seem lost or out of place. Perhaps it was his gaze as it fell on her, contradicting the cold, threatening outfit.

She got to her feet and faced him.  
“Don’t think for a second that our conversation is over.” She said.   
“I will send for food and drink for you while I’m gone.”  
“Did you hear me?”  
“I heard you.”

He kissed her cheek and forehead, squeezed her hand and headed out to the front door.  
There was the sound of a light breeze as the door slid open. Kylo was reproaching whoever waited on the other side of the door. Any answer disappeared as the door was shut.   
She drew a deep breath and returned to the soft, inviting bed.   
His smell was on the sheets and pillows, blending with the heavier notes of their unions. 

This was all crazy.  
Through the huge window, she could see TIE-fighters and other ships fly in and out of The Vigilance. There she was, cozily curled up in the monster’s lair as if she had chosen to be there; recalling the words between them about redemption. And his talk about marriage.  
Such brutal, disarming sincerity.

So much of his world was built on burning emotions, swirling through his head and infecting every rational thought. She drowned in his world all too willingly. And now there was this spoken promise; that he wanted to stay with her forever.   
She grimaced.   
There was no longer a world without him. Even now, she wanted him back so that the fight could continue.

But she would die to battle against everything he stood for. The darkness in him was so very vast and deep. She could deny it as little as she could deny the horrifying glimpses that sometimes came from his mind; unspeakable acts and orders that he had carried out, all in the name of his master, for who he held absolute trust.

She rose and walked into the shower. The hot water was soothing.  
Every now and then there was this light in him, a pale, tiny flame that carried doubt about all that he was. The gratitude towards his master was not felt then. And though he fought it down under thick layers of discipline, there was not a day when she had not seen Leia cross his mind.

At first, the whisper was vague. It came as she worked the towel through her hair, dressed in a fresh pair of pants and a tank top. It could have been Stormtroopers passing outside. After all, the place was crawling with enemies.   
Walking into the main room, it was clear that someone had been there. 

The table was covered with all sorts of dishes and beverages. Exotic fruits with startling colors in a huge bowl, dark bread-like squares with an irresistible smell and tiny pieces of meat wrapped in leafs.  
But this was not it. Something was approaching the door. Shots rang out at a muffled distance.

There was a feverish search for the lightsaber among the heaps of clothes. Finding it, she ran to the door and pressed her back to the wall next to it.   
A familiar crackling sound revealed that the lock had been short-circuited.   
The doors slid apart the moment she activated the lightsaber.  
Then, without hesitation, she slammed the back of the handle into the intruder’s face.

He sank to the floor, slowly enough to give her time for recognition.  
“Finn?”  
Heart pounding, she looked up and saw Poe dive to help the wounded ally. Chewie’s familiar anxiety growl cut through the confusion.  
“Finn!” She repeated, throwing herself by his side.   
“Hurry!” Poe said. “We need to get him up and get out!”

“But… what are you _doing_ here?”  
“Inside contact told us you were brought on board. We came as fast as we could.”  
“But…”  
“They’re having a big shot meeting right now, but they might be back any moment. The gun fire must have alerted someone.”

“This is dangerous!” She protested. “I should stay! If Kylo sees you…”  
The question answered itself. If Kylo came back and saw them, there was no telling what would happen. Could the four of them fight off an entire crew of soldiers and officers? Would Finn, Poe and Chewie get to live?  
Then she felt it. Kylo knew.

“You need to get out of here!” She said, taking Finn’s arm over her shoulder as Poe supported him on the other side. Chewie was watching the corridor with his Crossbow, raising it as the sound of running feet came closer.  
“We won’t leave without you!” Poe replied, wiping Finn’s nose as the blood spilled out. “Let’s go!”

“I… can’t. I…”  
“Luke is here. He’ll take care of Ren if he comes too close.”  
The decision was made, painfully swift.  
“Call Luke back to the ship!” She pleaded. “We’ll leave now! Don’t let him close to Ky… Ren.”

“But he’ll…”  
“Trust me! Call him back!”  
A rain of shots interrupted the conversation. Rey blocked most of them with the lightsaber as Chewie fired back.  
Then they ran for the docking bay.

Poe made the call to Luke, giving slight relief to the weight in her head. She would have to contact Kylo later somehow. Explain everything. Surely he would understand her need to protect everyone, including him.  
After a few obstacles they boarded a First Order freighter. Poe and Rey left Finn to Chewbacca and started the ship as Luke entered it. 

She kept her eyes on the control board, careful not to meet Luke’s gaze.  
Kylo was closing in. She felt his presence as an invasion. He was trying to establish a mental connection. It had to wait. Luke was too close and too attentive. She cut her mind off from everyone and assisted Poe as they left the Star Destroyer and shot out into a waiting squadron of TIE fighters.

Fending them off was way too easy. They must have been ordered not to shoot the escaping ship down. So at least he would not let her die this way.  
Once they entered hyperspace, Rey drew a deep breath and checked on Finn. He was awake, but dizzy. She felt the pounding pain in his nose.   
“My poor Finn.” She whispered, kissing his forehead.

Then she headed for privacy further back in the passenger compartment. Luke followed.  
“I’m really tired.” She said apologetically as she sat down on a bunk.  
Luke sat down beside her, not taking the hint or refusing to.  
“You were gone for a long time.” Luke said. There were warmth in his voice, but he was picking up on something already.

“I know. I’m sorry. I had no way of contacting you.”  
“Something is happening. Something big. I am afraid there will not be a lot of rest.”  
She nodded, trying to repress all thoughts about Kylo.  
“The First Order has plans to strike on Coruscant as retribution for Starkiller base.” Luke continued. “At least that is what our contacts tell us. We need to stop them before they murder more innocent inhabitants.”

“Coruscant? Why would they strike there?”  
“Perhaps they know that The New Republic is forming a new government there. Perhaps they want to show us what they’ll do if we oppose them. In either case, they need to be stopped.”  
“What are they going to do?”  
“They have already begun. They have slaughtered civilians for weeks, through seemingly random bombings and executions. And now they are tightening their grip."

All blood drained from her face and hands. The air was very cold.  
She had a start as Luke touched her shoulder.  
“Clear your mind.” He said. “Lie down and rest while you can. I am very relieved to have found you in one piece.”  
She swallowed with effort. A big lump seemed to block the throat.

“What will they do?” She said quietly.  
“Our insider attended the meeting on the Star Destroyer we just left. She should have information soon.”  
Luke rose and squeezed her hand before leaving the room.  
“Rest.” He insisted. “Breathe.”

As soon as he had left the room, Rey leaned down on the pillow and curled up, pulling the blanket over her head.  
Kylo had known. He had probably ordered the strikes on Coruscant. While ordinary people were falling victim to his unspeakable cruelties, she had kissed his skin and enjoyed every intimate touch, every greedy union.

The ache in her head and stomach lasted all the way to the base.  
Her eyes were open. So was an invisible wound, slowly bleeding her out.  
When Finn woke and came to her, she could not face him. Brushing everyone off, she went straight to her room at the Resistance Headquarters on D’qar and tried in vain to shower all memories away, scrubbing her skin so hard it burned.

Stumbling out of the shower cabin, she leaned over the sink and threw up.  
If she saw Kylo at Coruscant or anywhere at all, she knew what she had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	9. Trials

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You find my posting a bit late?  
> You are so right.  
> I am much better, but the journey to fully recover from my previous disease has been long and will continue a little longer.  
> But just so you know, I have no intention of leaving this story hanging and my updates will get more frequent as the energy returns.  
> So let's see what's up with the rescued Rey and get an answer to what happens when she meets Kylo again.  
> And just so you know...next chapter is already written and will be out in a week at the most.  
> Hope you have a wonderful summer, awesome fellow Reylos!
> 
> May the Force be with You. Always.

The worst part about being near other force users?  
That there was no way of finding out the extent of their knowledge about other’s thoughts. The one thing that could be counted on, was that they sensed _something._  
Even so, the first one to knock on her door was none of the Skywalker twins. It was Finn.

Rey had spent hours in her room undisturbed.  
There had been whispers, travelling to her through force-heightened senses, agreeing that she needed privacy and rest.  
It had not been much of a rest; curling up on the bed, pressing a pillow to her stomach and gritting her teeth in a painful effort to regain her senses.

 _You know who I am._  
He had said that and it was true. If only the truth was not such a complicated thing.  
Like a perfect shadow of herself, there was a profound struggle between darkness and light in him, a struggle that was as dominated by the dark as she was by the light. Trying to ignore the vulnerable, passionate human inside of the monster was impossible. 

His piercing dark eyes appeared as soon as she closed her eyes. His fingertips on her skin was all too easy to recall. Even though they were nothing but phantom whispers, the mere thought made her feverishly hot.  
_He came too close._

What had saved her on Jakku?  
There was the motivation of seeing her family again. But the thing that had kept her going, the real fuel for her survival, had been anger in confronting injustice. It had saved her in the forest that night, when they had fought on Starkiller Base. Master Luke had explained how well the force responded to emotions and how dangerous it was for those sensitive to it. 

Momentarily, it brought tremendous, overwhelming power. In the long run, it was the path to destroying everything you cared about. History was thick with examples. And presently there was _him_ , who had soiled his hands with his father’s blood.  
“How could you?” She whispered, repeating the words over and over.

It was directed as much towards herself. Something was about to break inside, a rift tearing her in half. His exhausting inner struggle must have been contagious.  
The memories of him became more vivid by the minute. It was nearly too late when she realized what was happening.  
_Get out of my head!_

He was struggling to uphold contact, refusing to heed her wishes.  
She cloaked his sight, letting her fury fuel the force with which she pushed him back.  
Whispers, disappearing into the dark as she expelled him.  
_“Not refuse…betrayed me…”_  
She sent an explosion his way.

 _“You are the betrayer! Murderer! You tricked me! I hate you! Hate you!”_  
She broke the link abruptly and fell to her knees, shaking. Why was her cheeks wet? He did not deserve any tears. Hyperventilating, she closed her eyes, emptying the mind of everything, letting the force flow in, cleansing and soothing.

It must have been only seconds before Finn knocked on the door.  
He could not be kept out forever.  
Reluctantly, she rose and walked to the door, resting a hand on its metal surface for a moment before letting it slide aside.

Finn.  
His warm, dark eyes searched hers, his face a perfect manifestation of boundless commitment, concern, anxiety and… that other thing.  
She lowered her eyelids and turned away.  
“Come inside.” She murmured.

He crossed the threshold immediately, reaching for her. She made a quick move to get out of reach and leaned against the wall at a safe distance, arms crossed over the chest. He did not try to approach her again. Instead, he went to the bed and sat down on its edge. 

“How are you?” He said.  
“How’s your head? I’m sorry about that.”  
“My head? Girl, you were gone for weeks! When we heard where you were, I almost…!”  
She cast a quick glance at him.  
“I’m fine.”

There was a slight pause.  
“You don’t look too happy.” That soft, empathic voice again.  
She shook her head.  
“I’m not.”  
“Rey, what happened?”

“I can’t…”  
Was she just about to tell Finn that she could not explain? He deserved better.  
He got to his feet, taking a step towards her.  
“Finn.” She began. “You and I, we need to… be friendly.”  
“Yes, of course!” Another step towards her. Relief in his eyes. Arms stretched out.

Unbearable.  
“No. I mean, we can’t be that close.”  
“What? But you just said…”  
“I can’t have anyone close right now. I’m sorry.”  
Frowning, he remained frozen in the inviting gesture.

“Did he do something to you?”  
“No, Finn, no.”  
“Whatever happened, we’ll get through it together! If he hurt you in any way…”  
“No! He did _nothing!_ It was me. I did something to _you!_ ”

Her voice had risen way above a conversational level. Breathing became harder. She had to gasp for air while staring at him, following the shifts in his mood.  
A cold, stone-like fear in the pit of his stomach. Images in his mind fleeting by; Rey being tortured, forced to give him up, telling them how to find him and bring him to the harsh justice of The First Order.

She pressed a hand to her forehead.  
“You’re safe.” She sighed. “They know nothing about you.”  
“But what…”  
“We can’t be together. We’re done. I’m sorry.”

A heartbeat passed. Another.  
“What did I do?”  
“You did nothing, Finn. I told you, it was me. You deserve better.”  
“Rey, it’s _me_ , Finn! We always talk about everything. What happened? Tell me!”

 _You know that guy who’s in charge of the order that kidnapped you and raised you to fight for them? The one who murdered his father and then nearly killed you in the woods that night? I’ve been sleeping with him for weeks._  
“I don’t love you.”  
His mouth fell open. 

Then as he closed it, his features showed the first strings of resentment that he had ever directed towards her.  
“That is not true.”  
“I do love you, but not the way you want me to. I wish I could, but I can’t.”  
His pain cut through her like a blade.

“You said you did something to me.” He whispered.  
“I did.”  
Silence. Then:  
“Who?”  
Rey shook her head.  
“When did this happen?”  
“Finn…”

“You need to tell me. I have a right to know. Give me at least that.”  
“It has been going on…for a while.”  
He flinched. Then frowned.  
“Who _are_ you?”  
“I wish I knew.”

His jaw clenched. Then he lowered his head, eyes closing. It was too overwhelming, too hurtful.  
Without another word, he walked out the door. As it closed, she sat down against the wall with head in hands. Her stomach twisted into a knot that would never resolve.  
Would he ever realize with whom she had betrayed him?

The walls seemed to be closing in. She left the room, careful not to walk in the same direction that Finn had, and went outside.  
The cooling green smells and moist fog was soothing. Walking into the forest, she turned to the force. It was a powerful ally in time of crisis. Luke had taught her that.

No.  
_He_ taught her that, having her trapped between the red, crackling lightsaber and a bottomless precipice.  
_I can show you the ways of the force._  
The images came flowing forward.

His eyes as he touched her the first time they were naked. Her arms around him, caressing his broad shoulders as his face laid buried in her neck, joining her in meditation towards the light.  
No good. She needed other memories.  
She stopped in the middle of a grove and closed her eyes. 

_Han Solo can’t save you._  
Han Solo. His mischievous smile and warm gaze. The offer; travelling around the galaxy with him and Chewie like a small, colorful family. Like having a father.  
The father that _he_ struck down, the moment a hand was stretched out.  
She was trembling, her breath coming short and fast. 

Han’s hand as he touched his son’s face for the last time. So gentle.  
She touched the lightsaber. Before any other thought could take shape, she ignited it and whirled it in a furious arch towards an ancient, overgrown branch.  
It was cut in two with a startling ruckus, sending a number of birds on flight from its thick vegetation.

The lightsaber fell out of her hand. She took a step back.  
Then gasping, she spun around as the presence was felt. Luke was still a ten minutes’ walk away, hardly visible through the mist. She floated the lightsaber back to her hand, hung it in her belt and waited. 

He appeared soon enough, his grim face seemingly cut out in stone as he stopped in front of her. The silence hung between them like a string about to snap.  
“I know.” she said. “’Breathe’, right?”  
_“Rey!”_  
Her heart skipped a beat.

“Forgive me, Master. I…”  
“Sit down.”  
“I can’t sit right now.”  
“That is just it. Sit.”  
She tried to meet his gaze, her eyes flickering from one place to the other. How much did he know, exactly?

She sat down in a meditative position, the way she normally did when they trained. He joined her, mirroring the pose and facing her.  
“I cannot fight this battle for you. As little as I could for Ben.” Luke said.  
He might as well have ripped the heart out of her chest.  
“I will not fail you.” She said.

Had Ben once told Luke the same thing?  
“You want to go to him.”  
Rey drew her breath, eyes widening.  
Did Luke know? Would the affair with Kylo cause her to be expelled from her new family in the Resistance? 

“I want to forget about him.” She replied. “I wish everything could be undone.”  
“Close your eyes.”  
She did, struggling to control the guilt burning in the pit of her stomach. 

“The force is neither this nor that.” Luke said. “It is only what you make it. We have all made choices we are not proud of. What defines us in the end, is our readiness to accept our limitations and compensate for them.”  
“What can I do?”

There was no need to open her eyes to feel the weight from Luke’s piercing gaze.  
“Your destiny is linked to his, more inevitably than ever. Even now, you carry him as a part of yourself. You have affected him too. As I speak, I can feel his fury, his desire for vengeance and the urge to atone for his master.”

Rey swallowed. If she dared to open the door to focus on Kylo, it would probably burn into her senses too.  
“You need to make a choice.” Luke continued. “The people of Coruscant will pay a high price. You can be a part of Coruscant’s rescue, or you can be a part of its destruction. What you _cannot_ do, is nothing.”

She opened her eyes.  
Luke’s face was unexpectedly compassionate. He rose and walked away, into the mists.  
There was a slight wind rustling the trees. The sounds of birds and small animals were all around, going about their business as if nothing had happened. 

After a while, she rose and went back to the base. There was dinner in the canteen and she sat down at an empty table, stomach turning as she looked at the food.  
What if Kylo had no hand in giving the order about Coruscant?  
But he had to know about it nonetheless, didn’t he? 

What was these thoughts even about? This self-proclaimed dark Master of the Knights of Ren had done so many unspeakable things. There was no denying how far he could go to attain his goals.  
_Then again, he gave me comfort when I showed him my greatest weakness._

“Rey!”  
She looked up. Poe, using his most disarming smile. He was obviously not running his own errand.  
“Can I sit here?” He asked.  
When she did not reply, he took place opposite her and ate a few bites from the stew.

“So,” he said. “You holding up? I know those thugs can be a real handful.”  
She lifted the fork and poked at the food.  
“When I was captured on Jakku” he continued, “I was not myself for a long time. Sure enough, I went about my business, but the nightmares…” He sighed. “The torture was one thing, but cruelties I saw once Ren gave the order…”

“What order?”  
Poe stopped eating and leaned forward.  
“The one when he ordered an entire village wiped out. Children, elders, everyone… the screams still haunts me sometimes.”  
The nausea got worse.

“Anyway, I just want you to know that we get it. Finn is… well, despite whatever is going on between you, he really cares and he wants to be there. Whenever you need an ear…”  
“Yeah.”  
Poe resumed eating.

“I’m sure you gave them a real hard time.” He said. “I’ve heard he has a nice big scar these days. Hope it still hurts.”  
An image of her teeth buried in Kylo’s skin, passionately tasting his salt as he moved inside her.  
“When do we leave for Coruscant?” Rey asked.

“My squad’s going tonight. Maybe you should stay here and take it easy for a while. I’m sure Luke can…”  
“No. I’ll go.”  
He nodded, flashing her a little smile.  
“You’re a fighter, Rey. You’ll survive this too.”

He finished the rest of the meal in silence. She was unable to touch the food.  
When he rose and left the table, she was just about to get up when General Leia slid down on the chair beside her.  
Rey had a small start. Normally, she could always sense if any of the twins were nearby. Their eyes met. Leia closed her hand gently around Rey’s wrist.

“For a while” the General said, “I could sense how at peace he was. With you. For what it is worth, _I_ am at peace knowing he got to experience that once in his life.”  
They stayed connected a moment longer. Then Leia left, marching out in her worn boots, towards the confrontation on Coruscant.  
Rey watched her walk away, frozen in the same position.

She returned to her room, facing the bathroom mirror. Her hair was still in the loose braid, making her look unsuitably girlish. The red rings around her eyes did not inspire much courage either. She unknitted the braid and let her fingers straighten the hair out.  
It could be reshaped into the usual three buns. Somehow, it did not feel right anymore.  
They, if anything, was a dark reminder of her entire childhood on Jakku.

She fetched a holo book out and flipped through the titles of numerous works about the force and the Jedi, suppressing an urge to get hold of the book Kylo was reading.  
There it was. The biography about the line of Jedi Masters reaching back to the legendary Yoda. The holo photos and illustrations of prominent Jedi teachers shot up and spun above the screen.  
That one.

His eyes inspired both calm and resolve. There was something almost fatherly about him. Comforting. Although the text declared that he was defeated by a Sith apprentice, his expression said enough. His body may have fallen, but he had stayed true to his convictions to the very end, indomitable in spirit. 

She nodded and started to tie the hair on top of the head back from her face. It was knitted together, resting like a narrow, soft rope at the back of her head. The rest was left hanging freely down her back. The usual strands hung wavy in front of her ears. Good enough.  
After changing into a rebel operations outfit, she took the lightsaber and left the room, allowing the picture of Qui Gon Jinn to keep spinning by the bedside.

She found Luke in the war room, speaking to his sister. He turned and nodded for her to step forward. She did.  
“I am ready.” She said. “When are we leaving?”  
Luke eyed her and gave her a warm smile of approval.  
“Tomorrow morning.” He replied. 

***

The next sixteen hours was challenging to say the least.  
Luke made her swear not to leave his side once they landed on Curoscant. Then he drilled her in lightsaber combat and brawling techniques, even showing her a few tricks of how to use the force in battle. Nearly all of it was for defensive use.

There was little sleep before departure. Kylo sought contact as soon as she started to dream.  
She repelled him with furious desperation, refusing to hear anything he had to say. Turning towards him with ears, heart and eyes open would end in disaster, so as soon as his presence was felt, she ran towards the waking world. 

When morning came, she stumbled to the canteen only to realize the appetite had not returned.  
Pilots, engineers and troops walked past as she entered the corridor. Where was Luke?  
Outside, the sun had barely laid its first rays on the green hills. The air was chilly, sharpening her senses. Weary and light-headed, she found a spot to rest behind a mossy stone near the front gate.  
The eyelids drooped. A few minutes rest could do no harm.

A number of tall buildings were spinning into view. Among them, there was a huge monument; maybe a palace. There were people screaming and running.  
Shots rang out. Sounds of marching and…him.  
_Rey!_  
Her eyes flew open.  
It was time to find Luke.

***

The chosen ship was a discreet freighter- intended to bring the force users to the planet undetected. Even so, Rey was certain that Kylo would know exactly when they arrived.  
R2-D2, Chewbacca and Lieutenant Connix were travelling with them.  
Rey and Luke was to steer the ship.

The moment they were alone in the cockpit, she told Luke about the vision.  
“Has it already happened?” Luke asked her.  
Surprisingly, the reply came running from her lips without hesitation.  
“No, they have not arrived yet. But they will, soon.”

The journey took days. Rey did nothing but meditate, train for combat and listen to all tutoring Luke had to give her. Connix coordinated part of the rebel fleet from their ship and took some time to tell them about new information as it appeared. 

The First Order seemed to have made deals with a handful of powerful players in the political arena. Those influential individuals all had a history of corruption, playing for the underworld, crossing laws and taking bribes to attain their goals. 

The strikes against the civilian population were not as random as it had first looked. The opponents of those politicians, along with their entire families and closest friends, were wiped out. Obviously, the Order was intending to put a puppet government in place that were ready to give up democracy and integrity for the promise of power and wealth. 

Rey listened carefully to every piece of information.  
It was perfect fuel to keep her anger up. She kept asking Luke for more techniques with the lightsaber, more ways to fight with the force. Luke was helpful, but somehow restrictive. Far before she felt the training was over for the day, he made her stop to meditate and regain her calm through meditation. She obeyed out of respect.

The one thing she would not do, was eat and sleep better.  
Kylo Ren haunted her like a malicious spirit, night and day. The times he did not seek contact, her own subconscious pulled him out from the shadows.  
She refused any help to get a dreamless rest, almost reveling in the torture it meant during daytime. Somehow it felt only fair, considering how she had betrayed her allies and friends. She would not rest until Kylo was out of the way, once and for all. 

***

There was no mistaking the First Order’s presence on Coruscant. A huge star destroyer loomed over the planet’s older section, like a spider in a net of smaller ships, floating in and out of it.  
Their own freighter docked close to an ancient marketplace, where daily business still flourished for a lower class of merchants. 

Everything around them was stunning. Even so, a dark veil clouded her sight, making her incapable of enjoying any wondrous sight.  
As they left the ship, wearing old cloaks over their usual outfits, Luke grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side.

“Look me in the eyes” he said, “and tell me that you will not try to take this into your own hands.”  
“I will fight by your side no matter what.” She replied.  
“But you also feel an overwhelming need to atone. Stay focused. Follow the plan general Leia has orchestrated and we will all be fine.”

She nodded.  
Luke let go of her and patted her shoulder gently.  
“I want you to be safe.” He said.  
It did not take long for Lieutenant Connix to get reports about disturbances inside a known government building. 

“They are rounding people up inside the court room.” The lieutenant said. “There is a rescue squad on the way.”  
Luke and Rey exchanged glances. At the mention of the place, they both sensed who was there.  
Connix left to join a strike force with Chewie as her lifeguard, while Luke and Rey got into a rusty old speeder. R2-D2 was told to stay on the ship.

They arrived shortly to the impressive building Rey had seen in her vision. The outer walls were decorated with angrily red First Order banners. Stormtroopers were everywhere. The clusters of people who had gathered to watch at a careful distance were harshly dismissed by the troops. 

“This might get tricky.” Luke said. “Can you find a Stormtrooper roughly your size?”  
Rey nodded. As soon as she had picked one out, they hid in a small alley and caught the trooper’s attention. With their combined mind powers it was no match convincing the trooper to strip and walk back out in the crowds with Rey’s old robe.

Rey got the armor on with Luke’s help and started to talk towards the huge building with her master as a prisoner. Those who questioned the transportation of such an unimportant-looking captive to such an important place were led astray with the force until both force users were through the main gates and well on their way to the court room. 

Her heart started beating like mad. Not only did she know he was in this building. She felt drawn to where he was, which was in the direction where they intended to go.  
As they tricked their way through the security outside the court room, Rey heard a familiar voice echoing from inside. A trooper directed them to stand at the back beside the main doors as soon as they entered.

The hall was vast and circle-shaped, the gold-and-blue decorated roof stretching up into infinity. Large statues of important-looking beings flanked the many exits around the room. Rey counted nine doors in total. There were guards at every one of them.

Opposite the doors, at the far end, was a crescent-shaped platform with a lectern presently occupied by the red-haired general that Kylo had called Hux. The Stormtrooper with the chrome armor stood by his side. Behind them were people in expensive robes. 

The hall had an open space in its center. A crowd had been huddled together in the middle, consisting of both adults and children. They were completely surrounded by armed Stormtroopers, directing their blasters toward them.  
The sight of desperate parents trying to shield their children with their own bodies made the blood freeze in her veins.

General Hux were in the middle of a speech that sounded like a verdict, but she could barely concentrate on what he said. Kylo was somewhere close.  
Then he came out from a door at the back of the platform, followed by four Stormtroopers who lined up by the wall. 

As if a red, glowing thread had shot out between them, their eyes met.  
Despite the stormtrooper helmet, he knew it was her immediately.  
His eyes became a little larger and his mouth opened slightly. The hand at his side clenched into a fist. He was struggling to keep his composure. 

“The First order will now demonstrate how we deal with betrayal!” Hux exclaimed. “Ren!”  
Kylo drew his lightsaber out and ignited it.  
There was an anxious murmur running through the hostages.  
Then suddenly, two Stormtroopers reached into the middle and pulled a woman out from the crowd. A man screamed and threw himself at them. He was instantly struck down. 

Rey had a start and turned to Luke. Her master was concentrating hard, gathering focus.  
“Leia’s troops will not be on time.” He whispered. “Stay behind me and remember your training. Make the Stormtroopers weapons malfunction.”  
The woman was dragged up to the platform and forced to kneel in front of Kylo. His attention was still directed at Rey. He probably sensed Luke as well. 

Hux was looking at Kylo, knitting his eyebrows.  
It took all her strength to turn her attention away from the platform.  
She closed her eyes and reached out with the force, changing the mechanics inside the blasters. 

“When you are ready.” Hux said, straightening up and closing his hands behind his back.  
Kylo was still watching her as he lifted the lightsaber over his shoulder. His gaze was felt like a laser cutting through flesh and bone.  
“Don’t you dare.” She whispered.  
Then a warm stream of force emanated from Luke. 

An angry cry came from Kylo. She looked his way only to see him struggling to move the lightsaber. Not losing any time, he kicked the woman in the face instead and turned to Luke.  
“Coward!” he roared. “Come forward and face me!”  
The woman’s bleeding face sent a shockwave through Rey. She removed the Stormtrooper helmet and began unstrapping the armor. 

Luke was making his way across a stunned crowd, slowly lifting the hood from his face as he walked.  
“Your rule of terror ends now.” Luke said, loud enough for everyone to hear.  
“Shoot him!” Hux bellowed.

Several Stormtroopers directed their weapons toward Luke, only to discover they were useless. The few of them who could still fire did and were blocked when Luke whipped his lightsaber up with uncanny speed.  
Kylo was marching down the stairs to meet Luke, his hand now moving the lightsaber freely.

Then Hux turned to the hostages, pointing with his whole hand.  
“Kill them! Kill them all!”  
The moment the captives understood that their guards could no longer use their blasters, they made a furious attempt to break out.  
Rey ran towards them, determined to make sure they all left the room unharmed. 

The seconds it took to reach them and ignite her lightsaber was spent in absolute horror.  
What if Luke was killed? What if Kylo…  
She pushed the thought away and attacked the guards, using the force to make them fly across the room, creating an opening for the prisoners to escape. 

“Follow me!” She cried and took the lead.  
A hoard of Stormtroopers came at them at once. Some of the prisoners armed themselves with blasters taken from the pushed Stormtroopers, using them as melee weapons.  
There were far too many troopers in the room. This was going to get messy.

“Call for reinforcements!” Hux shouted. “I want them here now!”  
As Rey were surrounded by attacking Stormtroopers, she knew there was no avoiding taking lives. She went for their arms or hands if she could, but when a small child was struck down, she reacted without thinking and severed the offending stormtrooper’s head.

At first, her blood went cold. Then it started to boil, rising the much needed anger to complete the mission.  
“Forgive me, master.” She said through clenched teeth.  
The next minutes seemed to pass in a red haze. Completely in tune with the force, she used all frustration she had to enhance her powers.

The moment they pushed through the exit, there was a full fire fight in the hallway. Resistance members were racing through the hallway, as first order troops fought them.  
Rey stopped and concentrated, sensing which way to lead the hostages.

She found a door, leading to an empty corridor that in turn lead to a stairway to a basement. There were signs spelling out ‘air raid shelter’.  
“Go down there.” Rey said. “Wait for things to calm down. We will have you out of there in a second.” 

There were several words of gratitude and a child hugging her leg as they went towards safety. But it was hard to keep focus on them. Something was happening upstairs.  
Without knowing what the emergency was, she ran back to the court room as fast as the legs would carry her. 

Bursting through the doors once again, there were two things that rocked the floor underneath her.  
The first was the number of slaughtered Stormtroopers on the floor, executed in such a way that there was no denying it was the work of her own lightsaber.  
The second one was the increased number of force users in the room. 

The room was empty of soldiers and officers. Even General Hux was gone.  
Luke was in a wild fight with not only Kylo, but also several lightsaber-wielding strangers in black outfits. A sinister flashback came to the vision she had seen at Maz Kanata’s castle. Kylo had been with them before, in a rainstorm.  
Kylo noticed her presence at a heartbeat.

 _“Rey!”_  
His rage ran through her and mingled with her own.  
_“Kylo!”_ She cried, rising her lightsaber.  
Luke reacted too.  
“Rey! Go! Leave!” Her master shouted. 

There was nothing in the world that could drive her out of the room. Luke’s pleading became a thin whisper in a red-colored mind. Somewhere inside, there was a voice screaming out a warning. Her connection to the light side of the force was waning by the second. All judgement was clouded by one thought only.  
She had to face _him_.

Kylo made a quick gesture.  
A burning wind swept her away, lifting her from the ground and sending her harshly into a wall.  
She ended up disoriented on the floor.  
_“No!”_ Luke’s voice.  
The room came back into focus with some help from the force.

Kylo was running towards her and Luke fought harder than ever to get free from the other force users, cutting one down as the others made a united effort to paralyze him for as long as possible.  
Rey stumbled to her feet and lifted the lightsaber once again. His initial strike was brutal. She blocked it with effort and released all rage in the blink of an eye, attacking him back.

“You’re _done!_ ” She roared. “I’ve had it with your _crap!_ ”  
He used her own old trick against her and created a diversion with his lightsaber to get her to open her guard. Then he put his boot in her stomach and made her stumble backwards through a door, into another large room. 

She counter-attacked, driving him backwards as she let the blows rain down. He was against a wall suddenly, rolling away fast to catch her saber-hand and press her back to the wall instead. The other hand held her face in an iron grip.  
_“You!”_ He gasped. “You nearly ruined…everything!”  
He was not talking about the battle on Curoscant.

“How _could_ you do it?!” She spat. “You lied to me!”  
She wriggled out of his grip and jumped aside, circling him to find a good angle to assault.  
“You betrayed me!” He joined the circling, spinning the lightsaber in his grip. “You _left!"_  
“My real friends came to rescue me! Do you think I’d let you hurt them?”  
“Without a word!”

He swung the lightsaber at her repeatedly, forcing her to move backwards, further into the room.  
“You thought I would not find out?” She countered. “How you planned to slaughter innocent people?!”  
“You know…”  
“…who you are? Oh, I know! All about the disintegration of a village on Jakku! And this? Executing a woman in cold blood? What was next? The children?”

She dived to the floor and made a sweep at his legs. He stumbled. Not enough to fall, but enough for her to gain the initiative and attack.  
“Look at yourself, Rey!” he growled. “You just massacred a platoon of soldiers only to get your point across!”  
She cried out in frustration as her stomach made a guilty twist. Aiming for his head, she forced his lightsaber up in defence.

“Because of _you!”_ she snapped. “You are destroying my life!”  
“ _You_ are destroying _my_ life!”  
His arm stretched out to the side. A moment later she had to dodge a number of metal lanterns shooting through the air. The time came to pay the price for lack of food and sleep. A lantern hit her temple hard. 

Knees failing, she dropped to the floor. His boot weighed down on her right wrist.  
“Get up.” He commanded. “I am not done with you yet.”  
She fought to sit up and pulled her wrist free. He was still a blur. She pressed her hand to her head, trying to heal the wound. The light was so far away. 

The blood kept running and the pain became a sharp, throbbing obstacle.  
She rose slowly, unable to see straight. He took a step backward, holding the lightsaber in a shielding position. Why was he not finishing her off now that he had the opportunity?  
“You are truly evil!” She panted. “I will never stop fighting against your cause. You will have to kill me.”

Her next attack was clumsy. He sidestepped and made an effort to wring the lightsaber from her hand. She pushed with the force, shooting him into a stone wall. He fell to the floor. Still conscious, he did not make an attempt to rise.  
“Get up!” She demanded. “I’m not done with you either!”  
She staggered towards him until she stood less than three feet away.

He gave her a strange look. The blood came trickling through his thick hair.  
“You are really here to kill me, aren’t you?” He said. “Then do it. Do it now, while you have the chance.”  
“You don’t get to decide…”

He threw himself at her legs, using his full weight to slam her against the floor.  
They struggled, trying to catch each other’s saber arm.  
“You _have_ to!” He hissed. “You cannot save me. Do it!”  
“You are really asking for it!”

To her surprise, he dropped his lightsaber and caught both her hands.  
“You need to do this.” He whispered, his lips close to hers. “You see, if you are not to join us, I have orders to kill you.”  
Then he jumped off her and stood up, holding his arms by the side, gazing intensely at her. Unarmed.

Rey sat up and blinked.  
“What? No…!”  
She rose and put her lightsaber in a threatening position.  
“You don’t get to play the hero!” She continued. “You don’t…”

She kicked his lightsaber across the floor. It hit his boots.  
“Take it!” She demanded. “Fight!”  
He did not move. Something unfolded behind the dark fury in his eyes. His human half was showing through, making her throat tighten.  
“Fight me!” She repeated, taking a step towards him.

When he did not respond, she punched him in the face. He flinched. She did it again. He fell, blood coming out of his nose and mouth. He would not stop looking at her.  
She kneeled in front of him and shut the lightsaber off.  
“You won’t do this to me!” She cried, giving him a hard slap over the face. “You won’t!”  
He took her hand and pressed the lightsaber against his heart.

“It’s only one push of a button.” He said, his voice quiet and persuasive. “Then it will all be over.”  
A perfect echo of her thoughts, back in the wrecked ship on Hoth.  
Gripped by absolute terror, she pulled free and threw the lightsaber across the room.  
“I _can’t!_ ” She exclaimed, gripping his cloak by the neck with both hands. “I can’t do it!”

He caught her cheeks in his hands and leaned his forehead against hers.  
“Then we are both doomed.” He said.  
A tear escaped against her will. She did not have any desire to stop him as he closed her in a gentle, but tight embrace.  
“You are so thin.” He murmured into her ear. “You need to eat.”

“Luke…!” She breathed.  
“He can take care of himself.”  
“I can’t fail him!”  
“Come as my hostage then and I’ll pull our forces back.”  
Madness.

She swam in and out of his mind, catching glimpses of dark rooms, anguish and a battle of loyalty. He was young in those memories, caught in a struggle between Luke’s teaching, the painful absence of his parents, their intentions for him being questioned; haunting him as he laid awake at night, listening to a soothing voice from the dark.  
His conflict now, was all about the owner of that voice.

His hands were carefully moving under her clothes, touching her ribs and her stomach, brushing over the bruises and wounds he had dealt her. She trembled in response. The eagerness to receive his touch was shocking.  
This was the end. If she followed him, it would mean betraying The Resistance once again. Unless…  
“You will let Luke leave alive.”

“I swear.”  
“And The Resistance?”  
“The moment you say the word, we pull back. We will leave what is left intact.”  
“I cannot trust that.”  
“You have my word.”  
“That is not enough.”

He bit his lip; eyes flashing. The dark lord returned.  
“Fine. Come here.”  
He held her upper arms and rose from the floor, making her stand up as well. None of them were in perfect condition to hold their balance. Rey’s head hammered with double strikes. It had to be his headache interfering with hers. Did he have the same experience?

She was directed to turn around. An arm snuck around her torso, pressing her tightly against him. His hand covered her brow, pulling her head back against his shoulder.  
“I will fulfill my part of the deal first, then.” He said. “Follow me and do not make any sudden moves.”  
She pinched her lips tightly together.

With a slight pull of the force, the lightsaber returned to her hand. She clenched it hard.  
“Give me that.”  
“Never.”  
“Do as I say!”  
“I said, _no._ ”

His frustration lashed out like a wave and withdrew. This was going nowhere and he knew it.  
“Then, at least, behave.” He hissed and released her, taking hold of her wrist instead.  
She allowed it and followed as he started to lead her back to the court room. Before entering, Kylo called for his lightsaber and ignited it.  
"You want to save your master?" Kylo said. "Then play along with everything I do."  
Marching through the door, he jerked Rey’s arm to put her in front of him and brought the red blade close to her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one a smut draught? Next one for smut city!  
> Angry sex never hurt anybody....


	10. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with a new chapter! 
> 
> Perhaps not so much to brag about, I know that some writers here update almost daily. But nonetheless, chapter ten is here.  
> I am leaving for a vacation where I will cosplay as Kylo Ren among other things, so there might be a couple of weeks until the next update. I wish I could tell you that nothing kinky will happen while in the Kylo-outfit, but my partner will be there too and we're, well, not right in the head.  
> Too much information? I blame my Swedish cultural heritage.  
> I hope you will like the chapter. Thank you for staying with the story so faithfully, despite the long breaks. Love you!
> 
> May the Force be with You. Always.

Inside, only three of the black-robed force users were still standing.   
Luke, still unharmed, fought to move freely as the remaining combatants struggled to keep him locked. Their united efforts had obviously not been enough. Half of them laid scattered on the floor, one of them without an arm.  
The shock that went through Kylo brushed her, but the truly terrible thing was meeting Luke’s gaze.

“Rey is now my hostage.” Kylo declared. “If you know what is best for her, you will leave this room when I call my knights back. Without further aggression.”  
Luke did not take her eyes off her. There was so much undeserved fear for her well-being, so many of his past mistakes coming to life.

It was too agonizing.  
“I will not fail you.” She said. Her voice were not as strong as desired, but she knew Luke had heard her.  
Kylo chose to take his reaction out on Luke.  
“Agree to my terms or watch me decapitate your beloved little apprentice!”

Slowly, Luke lowered the lightsaber and deactivated it.  
His eyes wandered to Kylo’s.  
“If you make one wrong move against her” Luke said, “I will come for you. I will not stop until you and your entire world has been destroyed, included the wretched creature you call ‘master’.”

“Fall back.”  
The force users Kylo called knights released Luke and stepped back, still very much on their guard.  
Everyone remained frozen for seconds.   
“Their troops will retreat.” Rey said to Luke. “Let me do this. A lot of people will live to see another day.”

There was a shadow over Luke’s face that made him look a thousand years older. She wanted to cry.  
Did her master know what she was truly doing? Did he see through the game?  
“Please.” She added, tipping her head slightly to the side. “Let me go.”  
A moment’s hesitation.   
“Then go.”

The last look he gave her came as a stab in the chest. Then it was Kylo and Luke locking eyes.  
“Remember my words.” Luke said.  
“A bold declaration for someone who went into hiding on a desolate planet at the first sign of trouble.”   
Rey kicked backwards, hitting Kylo hard on the lower leg.

He could not prevent a painful sound from escaping his lips.  
The grip around her wrist tightened.  
Luke gave him a meaningful glance and withdrew calmly. Even so, there was a storm raging inside him as he backed to a nearby exit and left.  
The three force users all turned their full attention to Kylo.

“Leave us!” He ordered.   
His surviving knights lifted one fallen comrade each and walked out.   
The red beam disappeared from her face.  
Rey spun around and gave him a push.  
“Don’t you _ever_ speak to him like that again! After what you did to him, you have no right!”

“Don’t you ever disrespect me in front of my knights again!”  
“Do you realize how this must feel for him?”  
“Do you realize my position in The Order? That is what saves you right now.”  
“ _I_ am what saves me right now!”  
“There is no time for this. There is more to do before we can retire to a private place.”

His gaze made cheeks and neck unnaturally warm. She bit her tongue.  
There was no way he would get to touch her, the way he behaved. He better have an extraordinary change of attitude waiting in that private place.  
“Let’s make sure your last demand is thoroughly met.” He said. “You will have to lend me slight assistance on that.”

When he got a questioning look, he nodded towards the back of the room.  
“The Stormtrooper outfit you wore. Find it and put it back on.”  
She frowned, but did as told. He tried to help her to fasten the parts, but she shoved his hands away at every attempt.  
The muscles in his jaw tensed as the teeth clenched together. He took a step back and tried to uphold a cold composure.

She followed as he walked through the room where they have fought. Then onwards to an elevator.   
“Hux is leading the operation here.” He said. “I sense he is still in the building. If he gives the order, all forces will retreat.”  
“How will you make him do that?”

“I will not, for all he’ll know.”  
They stepped into the elevator.  
“Will you use mind powers on him?”  
“He cannot be persuaded by such things and we should not leave traces of force using. He is in the temporary command central upstairs, overseeing the battle. The moment we enter the top floor, I will need you to walk behind me like a common soldier until we are outside the command room.”

“What’s the plan?”  
“There are several rooms outside the main one, available for those of high rank. While I walk into one of those, I will need you to fetch Hux for me and get him into the room with me, alone.”  
Rey’s heart started to beat a little faster. This little adventure was a perfect distraction to get a break from all inner torment.

“When you enter the room,” Kylo continued, “remember to only address the Stormtrooper with an orange shoulder patch. He is just above you in the command chain. Anyone else will be a breach of protocol.”  
“What shall I tell him?”  
“Listen carefully.”

Moments later, they walked out of the elevator. The corridor had rows of soldiers standing by the doors and alongside the walls.   
Kylo had pulled the hood thoroughly over his head, making sure that no one could see his face clearly. While he moved onwards to a door, Rey headed to the command room as described by Kylo. She was let in without any questions. The guards outside had seen her company before they separated.

Walking as soldier-like as she could with the blaster in a tight grip, she identified the Stormtrooper with the orange patch.   
Several officers stood among portable computers and communication devices, giving orders or asking questions to the coordination staff. She spotted Hux at once.

He had his back to her, but his voice and glowing red hair was unmistakable.  
She nodded as she reached the stormtrooper commander, uncertain of how to show respect.  
“Lord Ren is requesting to meet with General Hux in his private room.” She said. “The errand is a code red.”  
The commanded gave her a nod back and walked straight to another officer.

Moments later the news had reached Hux. His head turned her way, displaying a mask of discontent.  
As he walked past her to the door, she could hear him muttering about how much smoother the operation would have been without wizards with their own agendas involved.

As Hux entered the room where Kylo waited, he gave her strict orders to guard the door and make sure they were not disturbed until the meeting was done.   
She replied with a “yes sir”, as Kylo had taught her.  
The door was shut and Rey had to wait no longer than ten seconds before she was called inside.

Kylo stood with the hood off and the lightsaber in his hand. The handle had a small smear of blood on it.  
Hux laid on the floor, unconscious. Maroon streams blended with the ruffled copper strands.  
Rey took the helmet off and gaped.  
“He never saw me.” Kylo said. “I was waiting behind the door.”

He kneeled and drew out a slim communications device from the general’s belt.   
“How convenient that I always pick his mind for his personal code.” He said.  
Kylo’s fingers danced over the screen, writing the code and then seemingly a longer message. He held the display in front of Rey.

There was a formally written order on it, to remove all military divisions from Coruscant without delay. The whole fleet was to return to a starting point in another system.  
“I will send this to Hux’s next in command.” He said. “When I have, my part of the deal is fulfilled and your part kicks in.”

She swallowed. He was really doing this.  
“I understand.”  
“Do you? As my hostage, you are not to leave my side unless I say so. No spontaneous rescue missions or self-arranged breakouts will be accepted, or else I will send the entire fleet back to Coruscant. Or worse.”

She nodded, feeling the noose tighten around her neck.  
“Also, you need to be absolutely convincing when it comes to your interest in being trained by me. If the Supreme Leader wished to see you, your mind must be an impenetrable fort.”  
She bit her lip. Of course. The orders from his master. Turn or kill.  
“For how long?” She whispered.

There was a slight shift in his eyes, a warmer shade to the dark brown.   
“For as long as it takes.”   
What did he mean? Probably not the same thing she did. After all, her true intention of following him as a hostage had been neither of the demands she had put forward. And he had yet to realize it.

“I agree to your terms.” She stated.  
With his eyes still on her, he pressed ‘send’. A text appeared, informing them that the message had been delivered successfully.  
The bridge behind her was burned.  
He put the communication device in his belt and let two fingertips slide over her cheek.

“I will make sure you are well treated and have whatever you need at all times.” He said.   
She was not ready to deal with this tenderness.  
“What will we do with Hux?” She asked.  
“I’ve put him under a sleeping spell to make sure he will not wake up for at least another two hours. A meeting lasting that long will not raise suspicion. By then, it will be far too late to call the units back.”

“And how do we leave this room undetected?”  
“We climb to the roof from the windows. Up there, several officer’s shuttles are parked.”  
It was hard not to show admiration for his plan. But he did not deserve it yet. The unarmed woman kneeling in front of him was still freshly burned into her mind.   
They climbed out of the room together, leaving Hux to his fate.

***

Once on board the shuttle, she let Kylo pilot it without interference. The exhaustion was killing her. She stumbled into the passenger’s compartment and fell down on its bunk, pulling the blanket over her shoulders. The weight in her chest was too heavy to carry around for much longer.

Closing her eyes was almost like the initial state of losing consciousness. Somewhere in the haze, the familiar signal of an activated hyper speed drive rang out. Then sleep overcame her, giving her the relief she so desperately wanted.

***

When the waking world finally pulled her back, there was a gaping, aching hole in her belly. The hunger was so intense that the smell of food hung in her nostrils. At least, there had to be water somewhere on the ship. She opened her eyes and blinked several times to make sure the sight was real. 

A tray with a delicious-looking course, fresh fruit and water stood next to the bed, on a small table fastened to the wall. She reached a shaking hand towards it, sat up and began eating.   
Kylo was sitting on a chair opposite, just watching her.  
Not until now did she notice the dark rings around his eyes and the bloodshot whites.  
“You did not sleep.” She said.

“You did not eat.”  
“Aren’t you going to sleep?”  
“When you have finished eating.”  
He made it insanely difficult to bear a grudge.   
After the meal, her head fell back to the pillow. There was so much more rest needed. 

Her head was burning and the stinging pain in the temple had returned. She turned to the side, facing the wall and put a hand over the wound. There was no peace, no stillness that made the force flow to create new skin and tissue.  
A sob broke out. And another. The tears flowed over. She brought the blanket over her ears, trying to wipe the salt from the cheeks as it ran.

The sound of boots falling to the floor. Then a belt.  
His hand found her back. The narrow mattress was weighed down. Then the arms snuck around her, bringing a much larger, black cover. His robe.  
One of his hands came up to rest on her head, covering the wound and her own hand.  
She was shaking, unable to reject him as he adjusted to fit perfectly against her. 

His heat radiated through the thick fabric of his tunic. Gradually, her muscles started to unwire. The sobs faded. Breathing deeply, she finally felt the oxygen fill her lungs.   
The blade of the knife was still stuck in her chest, preventing the nourishing energy from flowing to her head.   
“Let it go, just for now.” He whispered. “There is an endless space outside, every star carrying its own world, its own stories.”

She took the words in, placed them in her heart and felt the knife become brittle.   
But its weight was the same.   
Finn’s eyes as she told him she did not love him.   
And Luke…  
“Stay with me.” He continued. “They are alive. Had you not taken this deal, they would have been crushed. Another two star destroyers with full fleets were heading for Coruscant. It was a trap.”

Her breathing slowed down.   
Curoscant. It’s people safe for now. Time bought for The Resistance to put the targeted civilians to safety; to confront the corrupt politicians. Everyone she loved were safe. Her sacrifice had mattered.  
The knife dissolved. The force ran through it, turning its shape into waning smoke. Her head and heart found a connection.

The wound in her temple was pounding with cleansing blood, restoring nerves and tissue.  
As the new skin was closing over it, she turned to him and nestled her hand into his hair. There was a lot of dried blood around his wound. His eyes closed as the soothing force flowed in.

When it was done, she touched his cheek.  
She was met by soft snoring.  
Sighing, she turned and resumed her intimate position in his arms. As sleep descended over her once more, it came in a much gentler shape than before.

***

They slept most of the trip. It was taken much longer than expected. Her initial expectation had been to dock inside the star destroyer that loomed over their heads.   
Then the jump into hyper space had changed her mind. Did the First Order have a new base at some secluded spot in the galaxy?

At one point, the signal from Kylo’s own communication device woke them up. He had destroyed the one belonging to Hux to avoid potential tracking.  
As Kylo answered the call, general Hux’s voice rang out in the compartment.  
 _“Where the hell are you? The operation has been hi-jacked!”_  
“The one on Coruscant?” Kylo asked calmly.

_“Of course. What else would I be talking about? We need to meet for an emergency council. The Supreme leader will need answers shortly.”_  
“I am completing my own operation, which turned out successful. I will not be able to meet you in person for a while. I am expected to move into phase two without delay.”  
 _“The training can wait another day or two. We need to retaliate fast or find another way to execute the original plan.”_

“As I told you…”  
 _“You might want to know that this failure was due to somebody impersonating you.”_  
Kylo was silent for a few seconds.  
“Who?”  
 _“If I knew, I would display this person’s head on my desk.”_  
“Call me back when the meeting’s due. I will participate through this link.”

They ended the call. Kylo returned to bed.   
“Phase two?” Rey asked.  
“Relax.” Kylo murmured and caught her in his arms again. “There is another, secret, Phase Two.”  
“You make no sense.”  
“I will.”

***

The next time she woke up, he was sitting on the bedside with a hand on her shoulder. There were no sounds coming from the ship.  
“Where are we?”  
As she spoke the words, a chill ran down her spine. Phase two. Was she being led to his Master?  
“We have reached our destination.” He said. “Come with me.”

He rose and reached a hand out. The reservations against him that had resolved as they slept now returned with full force.  
“What have you done?”  
“See for yourself.”  
When it became obvious that she would not take his hand, he simply turned and walked out.

She waited a couple of seconds. Then she put her boots on, grabbed her lightsaber and moved slowly to the shuttle exit. It was wide open.  
Outside was the most magnificent sky she had ever seen. Multicolored clouds moved like mighty giants over a startling blue sky. The sun was shining with a warm light just above the clouds, painting half the clear sky in a gold-orange hue.

Below her was a docking platform. Only one other ship had landed there. Kylo was waiting for her just below the ramp. A small committee were greeting him, bowing and smiling. Nothing in their appearances resembled members of the First Order.

Behind them in the far background, a magnificent city spread out, built with many slim towers in shiny materials. One solitary tower stretched over the others, placed on the highest spot, at the center of the city.   
It was like a scene from a childhood dream or a legendary tale for children.  
Slowly, Rey made it down the ramp.  
She took Kylo’s hand absentmindedly as he held it out for her, still entranced by the view. 

One of the humanlike creatures who greeted them bowed for her.  
“Welcome to Cloud City, my lady.” He said.  
“She is a princess.” Kylo said. “You are to entitle her as one.”  
Their eyes widened and they all made a deeper bow.  
“Cloud city?” Rey echoed. “Are we… is this Bespin?”

“A week is the most I can do.” He said. “If there is any chance to catch this break, it will be now.”  
She stared at him, not knowing how to react. She was far from content with his recent actions. Also, there was the affiliation with the dark side that he had forced her hand to participate in.  
And then… there was this.

He flashed her a rare, scoundrel-like smile, reminding her eerily much of Han Solo.  
“Hold back all you like.” He said. “I can sense your excitement.”  
“Allow us to show the way to your suite, my Lord and my Princess.” One of the hosts said.  
As they were lead to the other, smaller ship, the pleasantly warm evening wind stroked her face and caught her hair in a wild game. This did not have to be so bad.

The suite were not a room. It turned out to be an entire floor, placed at the top of a high tower with a magnificent view. There was an apartment in bright, calm colours, with many windows both at the wall and the roof, letting light through everywhere. All furniture were tastefully sparse and had beautifully smooth edges in design. A thick, soft carpet prompted her to take her boots off and bury heels and toes in it.

Their hosts assured them that bathroom, training facilities, conference rooms and the terrace garden were all exclusively ready for them whenever desired.  
The moment they left, a tense silence followed.  
He was watching her, eyes burning. She met his gaze and fought to resist the black, intriguing depths. 

He moved first, closing the distance between them. Cupping her cheeks, he leaned over and came close enough for her to take a small step back. She touched a wall.  
“We’re alone now.” He said quietly, lips close to hers.   
It took a supernatural effort not to join with his mouth and throw everything else away.  
“Why did you bring us here?”

His fingers nestled into her hair, stroking the nape of her neck gently.  
“I believed I could finish you off at Coruscant.” He murmured. “Such a hopeless delusion.”  
“Do you know what I just did? In one week, I broke my best friend’s heart and then I did the same to my master. I am not even sure I know why I did it, only that I don’t know how to live with myself.”

The fingertips dug deeper into her skin.  
“FN-2187? Are you seriously bringing him up… now?”  
“What are you so upset about? I’m stuck with you. It’s not like I’ll have a chance to…”  
“A chance to _what?_ Do you have any idea what I just did for you? And now you’re telling me that you don’t know why you did it?!”

“That’s not what I…”  
He let her go and spun around, drawing his lightsaber. The moment his eyes settled on an armchair, the weapon was ignited.  
 _“Really?!”_ She shouted. “We’ve been here for less than a minute!”  
He froze and turned to her, his breath heavy. 

She stretched her hand out towards his lightsaber.  
“Give me that!”  
“Why don’t you give me _your_ lightsaber?”  
“Why? So you can add it to your Darth Vader-collection?”  
His eyes widened. A hand came out, trying to grab her.

“Don’t you dare!” She sneered, dodging his hand and grabbing his wrist.  
Strong fingers wound around her own wrist. With a strong pull, her body was crushed to his. An arm pressed against the small of her back, forcing her to stay put. She grabbed a fist of the thick, dark hair and pulled hard. An angry sound of surprise.  
She reached for his lips and bit him hard. Another cry.

He bit back and lifted her, throwing them both down on the thick carpet. His mouth was covering hers instantly and she tasted it with a profound hunger, matching the fierceness he used to dig his hands under her clothes, stroking her everywhere, pulling at the fabrics. It was too late for rational thought.   
Her trousers were pulled down as she clawed at his back and spread her legs, hips lifting impatiently. 

He was inside her before the last garments were thrown aside, only bothering to get her panties down the necessary inches. A shock-infused wave of relief and desire shook and displaced everything. She moaned and cried aloud, moving with him in a violent fever. His release came first. He made a lot more noise than usual. Shaking and panting, covered in tiny pearls of salty sweat, he scuffed down and started to work the wicked, blissful magic with his tongue. 

The convulsions were sweetly insufferable. Both hands over her breasts, he sucked her into madness, ravaging all her private spots. She screamed as her body surrendered, nails raking his arms, room spinning in agonizing shocks.   
Then they peeled the rest of the clothes off and embraced with arms and legs, pressed skin against skin and engaged in a deep, endless kiss.

They were floating freely again, like they had on Hoth, without context or judgement. Something was mended, like the two halves of a cup being glued together. So much thirst. She opened her mind and invited him in. There was no reason to hold anything back. He greeted her with the same courtesy and she drifted into his thoughts, wandering the dark landscapes and bathing in the crimson lakes. 

Not that dark. There was a sun just above the horizon, warming the wasteland. She knew the sun. It was inside her too, only much brighter and stronger. There was a recent sorrow weighing on the heart. Was it hers? No, not this thing with Luke. Three knights had been defeated. Two of them dead. He had a strong bond with them.   
_The knights of Ren._

Her fingers moved over his face.  
“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “You lost someone too.”  
“You should not be.”  
“I am, for you.”  
His hand landed on her cheek.

“Would you make a deal with me?” He whispered.  
“Another one?”  
“A better one. While we are here in Cloud City, let’s ban all politics, forget what is waiting on the other side of this week and just be you and me.”  
“Yes.”  
“Yes?”

“If this is the only break we will ever get, there is nothing I’d rather do with it.”  
He kissed her, caressing her cheeks.  
“Then, my beautiful princess, let us live like royalty here. I have so much to show you.”  
She smiled, winking.  
“I have a thing or two to show you as well, my dark prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut absolutely not over.


	11. City of Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It finally happened.   
> Except for health problems, I have had a writer's block from hell concerning this story. I know exactly where it's heading and how, but to get it down in writing was harder than expected.   
> Anyway, the flow is back! I hope you enjoy this somewhat calm before the storm- chapter.
> 
> May the Force be with You. Always.

The sun was setting, coloring the room in warm shades of gold and fire.  
Kylo scooped her up and carried her to the bed. She let it happen, leaning against his chest with arms around his neck.  
He put her down carefully, crawling up beside her while wrapping them in the softest, smoothest sheets she had ever experienced. 

The mattress was shaping itself perfectly around her, welcoming and beckoning.  
They both laid facing each other, gazing deeply into the other one’s eyes.   
This moment had been bought at a very high price. She had pushed her two closest confidants away and betrayed their trust; something that she might never get back. 

Kylo had gone behind his master’s back and ignored his orders. And on top of that, betrayed his people by ruining a huge military operation. It was almost as if there had been no choice; as if they had both been acting under the directive of a powerful spell.

Her body and mind had gone into a state where they refused to function properly if he was not around. Even though they laid close together, there was already a restless urge building up to get closer, to have more. Did he feel it too? 

As if answering her, his hand covered her cheek and caressed it. There was fresh thirst in those dark eyes as he kissed her. Softer this time, lingering.   
Blood seething and skin humming, her hands examined every part of him, slowly sliding over the pale skin, feeling his pleasure vibrate against her palms.

He was exploring her too, hands and mouth forcing sighs and moans from her. When there was no self-restraint left, she simply wound her legs around his hips and allowed him to fill her once again, engaging in a dazed struggle about who would end on top.   
She went first, straddling him and riding into a dizzying drunkenness, wincing as his hands went all over her, feeling and squeezing possessively. He caught her arms and pulled her closer, took hold of her hair and burned his insatiable gaze into her as she went over the edge.

His obsessive attentiveness heightened the pleasure; removed all sense of balance and privacy.  
Tumbling down from it, she collapsed over him, breathing his salty skin, complying as he turned her over, her back pressing against the soft bed.  
Eyelids half closed, she caught his eyes and winked. 

Then she moved aside quickly, putting a foot on his thigh to push out. He caught her arm and foot, dragging her in again. The wrestling match was driving him insane. It was addictive, sensing his mounting desperation and sensing the playful struggle become deadly serious until he fought with every skill he had, finally getting her down on her stomach and pushing in from behind, holding her locked in a tight grip. 

He came within seconds, dragging her down into the pleasure as well. They both trembled and gasped, Kylo turning them to the side without ending the firm embrace.   
It was perfect when his possessive nature was triggered. There was a part of her being so painfully starved for attention that only his obsessive behavior could soothe the need.

It was hard to tell when it started again. Time and space seemed to go by their own rules this room. As they both came out of a slumber, he kissed her neck. Then he bit down and sucked, forcing whimpers out of her. The darkness were oozing out of him like smoke, enveloping her, blinding her sight.  
His hand closed around her throat.

He tongue-kissed her ear until she could stand no more, the fingers around her neck firm enough to keep her head in place. When he entered her again, she was more than ready.   
It was harsher this time; a wicked pleasure that sent her into a whirlwind of overwhelming sensations.   
The other hand gathered her wrists and held them fixed. His mouth was at her ear again, sucking and biting, going down to her throat and attacking the freshly sore spot.

She winced, skin prickling and heart speeding.  
He drove deeper into her and became fiercer; almost punishing. The hand on her throat tightened the moment he came, the pressure pulsating as his fingers twitched. Then his breath was in her hair, fast and heavy. Her hands slipped out of his grip, sliding down to satisfy her own needs.

He made her face him, holding her jaw as she squirmed to stand the waves that engulfed her, being thrown from a fire and into the deep ocean. She leaned her brow against his heart, breathing with him.   
Resting in the arms of this darkness was way sweeter than was allowed. There had been so much anguish, so much struggling not to touch this thought.

Now, in the safety on Bespin with all its pleasures, she let go. The dark was a sensation, tickling and stroking the mind as well as the body. It cradled her with all its promises and opportunities, whispered encouraging words and flattered her with all its overwhelming attention. Giving in would be such a relief. 

One word and the exhausting struggle would be over. A yes. A surrender.   
_I’ll go where you go. Be your consort. Rule by your side. And at night your willing slave, as you are mine._   
She had betrayed The Resistance already. The step would be a small one. All this sleeping power within; awake and used to its full potential.

So many mysteries unfolding. All this power.   
Never again would she be at anyone’s mercy. Others would kneel for _her_ ; crawl at her feet. She would be the judge of life and death, the indomitable warrior above all others.   
And she would never, never be alone. He would be right there, her one and only equal.

“Rey.”  
She opened her eyes. He was peering at her. Dark orbs fixed like ancient galaxies from another world. Endless darkness.  
“I can’t.” She whispered.   
“You are perfect for it.”

“It doesn’t matter. My heart isn’t…”  
“You understand the dark side. You’re ambitious. Like me.”  
“My ambition is to save as many as I can.”  
“So is mine.”  
“By ruling them. I am content with knowing that people are alright.”

He was silent for some time. When he finally spoke, it was with an edge of bitterness.  
“The darkness does not stay in you. It never truly sticks.”  
“And you…the light merely passes through you.”  
“But in you, it is your core.”  
“As the dark is in you.”

She swallowed before continuing.  
“You’re the missing half of me.” She said quietly, hating how the voice betrayed too much tenderness.   
He stroked her cheek, intensely serious.  
“This is how the force chose to manifest.” He said. “Two halves forever striving to unite.”  
“Doomed to tragedy.”

He frowned.  
“No. I refuse to believe that. It is our fate to stay together.”  
“Or for one of us to destroy the other.”  
He rose on an elbow, glaring down at her.  
“That is Jedi propaganda!”

“Is it? I seem to remember a mission you had to find and destroy Luke. Unprovoked, I might add.”  
“Luke!” he spat the words out with unexpected rage. “All this concern about Luke! Do you have any idea of how much blood he has spilled? You keep playing the image of that woman on the platform in your mind, but as it turned out, the murderer was your beloved Luke!”

She frowned, concentrating on his thoughts.   
_The knights._  
“But you ordered them to attack him.” She argued. “What choice did he have?”  
“Choice?! Don’t speak to me about having a choice!”   
Another wound. Something deeper than the knights.

She put a hand on his heart.  
The bottomless pit of abandonment came as a surprise. For a moment, she was uncertain if the wound she felt was hers. She knew all aspects of this terrain. All too well.  
“What happened between you and Luke?” She whispered.  
He hesitated, his fingers closing around her wrist.

“Would you care for a shower?” He said.   
“Are you avoiding the subject?”  
“Are you forgetting our deal?”  
She sighed.  
“I could use a shower.”

She rose and made her way to a door that was too wide and large to really be a bathroom. He followed close behind, keeping his hands on her shoulders. Once outside the door, she stopped and spun around.  
“No.” She held her hand up. “You stay here and try to keep the furniture intact.”  
He raised both eyebrows, mouth falling open.

She hurried inside and closed the door, waited for a second and pushed the button to open it again. The corners of her mouth twitched.  
“Look at your face!” She giggled.  
In the blink of an eye, her back was against the floor. He straddled her, the weight keeping her fixed, while he struggled to get her wrists locked to the floor.

“You are still my hostage!” He growled.  
“Can’t…stop…laughing!”  
She really couldn’t. Seeing him in this mix of bewilderment and anger only made it worse.  
Her wrists got pinned down and his face closed in on hers.  
“Rey! Stop!”

“You stop first!” Smiling widely, she lifted her head and pecked his mouth with a quick kiss.   
“It’s not the slightest amusing!”  
“You’re so cute!”  
He huffed, scooped her up and threw her over the shoulder, holding her legs firmly while walking into the shower.

Though the short trip showed the room from a strange perspective, its size and equipment was breathtaking. There was something akin to a smaller swimming pool built into the floor, a minor steam room close to a generous shower cabin and a number of towels and bottles. The room itself was huge, with a crescent-shaped wall made of glass. Cloud City spread out below them like an imaginary world, its nightlights promising all sorts of pleasantries.

Kylo put her down in the shower and pushed mildly to make her sit on the floor.   
Facing the room, she looked straight into a mirror on the opposite side. The smile faded.  
They were both in a terrible state. Dirt, blood and bruises everywhere, hair in a mess with dried blood clinging to it.  
There was a bench inside the shower cabin, right behind her back. He sat down on it and put his hands on her shoulders. 

“We need to blend in.” He said.  
“I don’t know how.”  
His hands slid over her key bones, up her neck.   
“I’ll show you.”  
He turned the water on. Warm, pleasant streams poured at them, both from the roof and the walls.

 

She winced and sighed, leaning back as he began to cleanse her. The sponge moved slowly over her skin, meticulously scrubbing every stain away and stroking gently over the bruises.   
Sliding down to sit on the floor, he worked his way down to her inner thighs and lingered just a little bit too long. There were weak twitches responding to the gentle rubbing.  
Even now, after several rounds of pleasure, he still had this intoxicating effect. 

The sponge fell to the floor. Only a finger rested on the small nub that gave her so much satisfaction. Why didn’t he tease it? When she pressed her hips up, there was a commanding hand on her shoulder.  
“No. Be still.”  
She obeyed, frowning.

At first there was a small tingling, a warm trickle leaving the tip of his finger and pouring in and through the tiny, sensitive nerves. She closed her eyes, letting out a shallow sigh.   
The sudden jerk caught her off guard. The finger had not moved. Still, the small nub was pulsating from overwhelming stimulation.

Her lips opened. Words shaped and died before they had sound.   
The streams bolted up to the belly, jolting and cramping before returning to the main center.   
His free arm hooked her torso, a hand clasped her breast.  
Her feet kicked and slipped against the wet tiles. Short of breath and dragged down into surrender, she held on to his arms as the waves became stronger, setting everything on fire. 

Then it came, raw and exposed; the centrifugal force from a ship spinning out of control. Hips lifted and thighs clenching around his finger, she gasped for air. It spread. Up through the stomach and into the nipples, sending frosty heat through the neck and head. The room shifted to red and then to black. 

He was holding her when the room materialized once more.  
They sat like before, under soft, pouring water. Only now, he held her with both arms. She turned her head to look at him. There was a triumphant little smile on his lips.  
He began to stroke her hair, tugging at the ribbons holding it back.

“I should have tried this before.” He said. “Then my first interrogation with you would have been a lot more intriguing.”  
Her mouth fell open. He deserved a harsh reply, but none came out. Inhaling and exhaling normally was still a priority. 

Not until he had untangled the knot around the hair did she speak.  
“I want my hair as it is, thank you.”  
“You can get your Jedi hair back as soon as it’s washed.” The voice was tender. He kissed her on the head. “I like it, by the way. It makes you look…corruptible.”

She rolled her eyes, but said nothing. He was allowed to untangle the hair and wash all dirt and blood away from it. The curiosity could not wait until he was finished.  
“How did you do that?” she asked.  
“It will be my secret for now.”

A glance into the mirror confirmed his content smirk.  
Once he was done washing her, she returned the favor. Taking a seat at the bench, she cleansed his dark, beautiful hair from every little scrap that did not belong there, even taking the time to comb through it. Then she tended to his body, picking the sponge up and letting it work its way down to his crotch. 

Kneeling in front of him, she gave it special attention until he was near an explosion.   
Then she slowed down and teased him until he grabbed her and pushed her down on her back.  
He finished inside her, holding her hands to the floor, fingers entwined in hers.  
The tenderness returned. They went back to the bed and made out for a long time. 

***

The sun was pouring in from the windows when she woke up. It was the midday sun by the look of it. Kylo was still in deep sleep, his arms holding her deliciously close. She enjoyed it for a while, noting all the sore spots on certain parts of the body.   
There was a door leading out to a terrace. Wriggling out of his grip, she headed for it. 

The wind was wonderfully soft and warm, the sky a deep blue. Someone had planted a more or less artificial garden and built a pool into the tiled ground. Even though they were only at a wide balcony, it was easy to believe the trees and plants had grown there naturally. There were colorful birds in the trees, making melodious calls to one another as she walked to the edge of the pool and dipped a toe in the water. 

Not the freezing, numbing waters of Ach-to, but a pleasant cool. Slipping into it was both invigorating and refreshing. Floating in the water on her back, she felt healed. Complete. The sun warming her limbs and the birds singing and landing close to the pool made everything in the past feel like a dream.  
Whatever came next, she would be forever grateful to him for this moment. 

Lifting a hand, she tuned in with the force and sensed the birds. For a tickling moment, their strange emotions and thoughts floated by. Then, as hoped, there was a flapping of wings and a weight on her hand.   
The bird sensed it; the gate to the force inside. As its presence seemed to merge with her, another presence made itself known. 

There was no need to open her eyes to know he was standing by the door, gazing at her. Thoughts troubled and heavy.   
Putting the feet down to the basin floor slowly, she turned her head and peered at him.  
He was leaning against the doorpost, his dark hair a mess. The eyes had a red weariness. 

As he approached, the bird took one look at him and decided to flee up in a tree.  
Rey swam to the basin’s edge and took his hand as he kneeled in front of her.   
The way he shook his head dismissively set an alarm off.  
“In less than ten minutes we’ll have breakfast.” He said. “Then I’ll show you around the place.”

“Kylo…”  
“Later.”  
He took a stronger hold of her hand and fished her up, wrapping a thick, soft towel around her shoulders.   
“Look at you.” He said. “It’s you holding me hostage now.”

Inside, breakfast was served. Or more a meal for royalty. There was so many unknown dishes on the table that she had to turn to Kylo for guidance. Even the bed had been made, with clean sheets from the smell of it. Every plate and canticle were of precious glass or shiny metal.  
“Is all this for us?” She asked.  
He replied with a kiss on her head.

There were no words to describe the experience. The food of the Resistance had seemed luxurious. Then the dinner at his star destroyer had taken it to the next level. This was different. This had to be what food always was supposed to taste like; spices, texture and combination of ingredients perfectly attuned to each other. Then there were juices, caf and herbal brews, each caressing the tongue more than the other. 

By the time they were done, she crashed on the bed, head spinning.   
“It was perfect.” She whispered.  
He gave her one of those rare, warm smiles and joined her on the bed.

The rest did not last long. They had to put their battered clothes on. He had ordered tailors to their room, taking her measures.   
“There will be a lot of players here.” He explained. “Politicians, merchants and mob leaders. Every now and then we will go to places where we need an official appearance. We will need to dress the part.”

Rey nodded. But when the tailors asked what preferences she had, she did not know what to say. They showed her holo pictures of outfits that had to be meant for important people: Dresses and robes that were too fine for her to wear.  
With Kylo insisting, she finally chose one outfit for daily use and another for, as he called it, evening events. 

The chosen clothes were as plain as possible. He nodded in understanding.   
“I would prefer my own clothes at all times.” He said. “While we wait for the delivery, I will show you some distractions.”  
She smiled. This city was too beautiful to stay indoors. 

\---

They travelled in something in between a ship and a speeder, moving soundlessly over clean, spotless streets. The first stop was a pilot academy, under the direction of a neutral organization.   
“Some of the best pilots in the galaxy are trained here.” He said. “They make a point not to make any political stand.”

“The Order is trying to change that, right?”  
He shrugged.  
“It is not an absolute priority. With the right amount of credits, they do anything you ask.”  
He led her inside. They were met by staff members who bowed deeply as they passed. It was awkward. Kylo seemed to take it for granted.

The final destination was a hall filled with simulation chambers. Small hut-like devices stood in rows. Their insides were built as small cockpits with giant screens where the front window would have been on a fighter vessel.   
“You take this one.” He said. “Let’s see how good you are at fighting me in the air.”

She frowned, but stepped into the chamber. He entered another beside her.  
It would be best to go easy. He did not seem very familiar with the function of a ship and it would be a bad move to embarrass him the first day. A surprising number of hours had passed since they last fought and it would be nice if it stayed that way. 

The cockpit was impressive. Once she had activated the program, the chamber moved with the maneuvers she made when steering. She strapped herself to the chair. This could get interesting.  
The screen came to life, showing a classic space view. His ship was in sight almost immediately. She made an easy, teasing maneuver and got shot down instantly. An alarm went off. The display blinked. He had hit the fuel tank.   
She gaped. So playing nice was off the table. 

The next round, the game got deadly serious. She sent the ship into spins and daring dives to get a shot at him. He did the same. And he was good. Really good. Finally, she allowed the force to direct her movements and inside it, she felt him there too.  
Their ships were caught in a dance, perfectly reacting to the other’s move. She flowed with it, waiting until the exact moment arrived. Then she pressed the trigger. A clean hit.

The alarm rang out unexpectedly. He had shot and hit her at the exact same time.   
She left the cockpit and met him right outside. He was wearing one of his satisfied smirks.  
Cheeks warm, her gaze wavered. There was a strange flutter in her stomach.   
“So, you can fly.” She said.  
“I can.”

He closed the one step between them and took her chin, leaning in.  
“Are you blushing, little Jedi?”  
“No…”  
He kissed her gently on the lips.   
“Are you ready for the next round?”

They spent a good part of the afternoon in the cockpits. Time flied as fast as their simulated ships, as fast as their witty remarks to one another as they fought to get the most points. By the time they were done, her stomach ached from all laughter and her voice was hoarse. She ran over to his cockpit and threw herself into his knee, straddling him and craving a deep kiss. 

While the computers calculated their results, her pants were torn off and his torn open. She rode him inside the cockpit, letting all the tension out in a blinding orgasm. He came inside her too, biting her neck and holding her possessively.   
Then the results came. He had managed to get one point more than her. One. Probably because of that first match when he caught her off guard.

She sighed, frowning at the self-satisfied expression on his face. This would make him unbearable for the rest of the day.  
“I better drive the shuttle back to our rooms.” He said.  
She pinched his thigh hard, making him inhale sharply. 

When they returned, twilight was painting the sky in otherworldly colors. There were several packages stacked neatly on the bed, containing new clothes and shoes. The boxes were so beautiful that Rey gasped as he tore them apart without hesitation, lifting their new clothes out. His outfit was all black as usual and she had not deviated from her sand colors.   
He took her hand.

“I am taking you to a formal place for dinner tonight.” He said. “It means you need to wear the dress.”  
He pointed to the finer of the two outfits she had chosen.   
She nodded.  
“Will you help me put it on?”

He changed into his new clothes quickly. There was no bigger difference between this outfit and his old one. A long, plain tunic with a broad belt, black pants and black, shiny boots, with a long robe as the finishing piece. The new element was that everything was clean and whole. Also, he wore it perfectly, adding elegance to authority. 

Then slowly, he undressed her until there was no thread left on her body. He backed her into a wall. His large hands set her skin on fire as they touched every intimate part, testing it. Almost as if she was a toy.  
“I don’t want you to have any underwear.” He whispered. “Can you follow that command, my little hostage?”  
She swallowed and nodded. He still knew how to make her cheeks burn.

“Also…” His fingers slipped in between her legs, discovering the gathering moisture. “…if anyone asks, you are with me.”  
“Of course.” Her voice was wavering.   
“No. You are _taken_. Do you understand?”  
Not being absolutely sure about what he meant, she nodded. 

Then there were two fingers inside, working her slowly until the drug-like haze took over everything. The palm pressed up against her nub. She gasped and started to rub against it. Without drawing his fingers out, he turned her around and continued. He was hard against her buttocks, but made no attempt to take care of his own urges. She came, caught between him and the wall, sinking to her knees from the pleasure.

He squatted behind her, arms holding her stable.   
“Are you ready to dress?”  
“Almost...”  
She turned and opened his pants with shaking fingers. Somehow it heightened the recent experience to end the act this way.

Closing her mouth around him, she laid down on her stomach. The carpet was so thick and soft that whoever placed it there must have thought of all kinds of uses for it. He sat back, holding a hand on her head. By now, his most sensitive spots were known. She teased them until he couldn’t wait. Grabbing a fistful of her hair, he filled her mouth. Swallowing it felt as usual as the most natural thing to do. The line between them had blurred anyway.

She crawled on top of him and rested, his arms wrapped around her.  
Minutes later, it was time to get ready.   
He brought the sand white dress and gave instructions. It was an easy garment to put on. Still, he prolonged the process, insisting on buttoning and smoothing it where needed.

The dress was cut tightly at the top, had no sleeves and showed her shoulders and key bones generously. Then it ended with a long skirt with generous amounts of fabric, going all the way down to her feet. It was cut to leave her hips bare at the sides. Strange.   
“Does it fit?” She asked.  
There was only silence and a burning gaze. 

“Well, you look amazing anyway.” She added. “Where are we going?”  
He took a step towards her and took her hand, turning it and dropping something in her palm.  
At first, there was only a diffuse shimmer. Then she saw them. Two small stones shimmering as strongly as tiny stars, its white light sometimes shifting in blue and red.

“What is this?”  
“The stone is called Star Spirit. It is so rare, only the richest in the Galaxy can afford it. Try them.”  
Her mouth was half open. She shut it.  
“Try them where? How?”

He picked one up and took her earlobe between the thumb and finger.   
“For your ears.” He said, starting to fasten it. “No one knows how the stone can shine this way. Only that it can keep on doing so for billions of years, like a real star. They could only be found naturally on Jedha and now there are very few items left containing these stones.”  
The magnet locks that kept the stones fixed to the earlobes pinched the skin. Somehow, it served as a constant reminder of him.

He stroked her cheek.  
“No one will question your title now.” He murmured.  
She headed into the bathroom and found the mirror. For a second, there was a stranger looking back. The hair was still in Jedi style, as he called it. The dress and those sparkling stones in the ears made everything about her look different. 

He stood in the doorway, gazing at her.  
“I feel lost in these clothes.” She said. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.”  
“Only who you already are; someone very, very important.”  
Her eyes found his.  
When he held his hand out, she took it without hesitation.

\---

They journeyed to another tall building, taking the elevator to its top floor. There were guards and servants everywhere, bowing and greeting them courteously. Kylo’s body language had changed into a military, superior style. She tried to keep her back straight and hold strict control over her movements to match him, but there was too many distracting things in the surroundings.

Gleaming metal, shiny white doors and walls with ornaments and plants, generously sized windows with breathtaking views and even art. But when they entered their destination on the top floor, she actually forgot to breathe.  
Two servants bowed as they strode through a pair of silvery, palace-like doors. 

A huge room waited on the other side, surprisingly cozy for its size and splendor. There were roof lighting fastened in clusters of crystal, walls covered with green plants and flowers and even a fountain inside.   
Part of the room had a very luxurious looking bar and a restaurant with tables lined up by the huge windows. Another part had a more comfortable space with cushions and couches. The last part had a casino area and a small stage where two musicians played a soft, pleasant tune.  
All in all, there were no more than about fifty guests present.

Half of them seemed human and the rest were more or less humanoid. Everyone wore clothes and jewelry for royalty and they all watched as she and Kylo were led to a dining table.   
He held the chair out for her. This time she knew what to do and sat down.   
A sharp, familiar signal rang out. Kylo’s mouth became a thin line.  
“I will have to answer this.” He murmured, drawing his com link out from the belt. “Stay here. I will be back in a moment.”

She nodded. He kissed her head and walked away.  
There were all these dinner supplements on the table, with multiple plates and glasses and shiny objects. What were they all for?  
Kylo strode across the room to a solitary spot and started to speak quietly into the com link. She fixed her gaze out the window and watched the clouds, hoping that he would return shortly.

“Excuse me.”  
She drew her gaze toward the voice. A man, roughly Kylo’s age, stood by her side, smiling with perfect teeth. Judging from his clothes, he was obviously a guest and not a servant.  
“I hope I am not bothering you.” He continued. “I am Governor Heriss Mota. We could not help but to notice your arrival. Would you care to join us while you wait?”

He swept his hand towards a nearby table. Two men and a beautiful older woman smiled at her.   
There were warmth and respect in their eyes, but deeper inside, a cold cunning. There was something about the woman. She knew something.  
Rey returned their smiles and nodded.

Governor Mota led her to his table, pulling the chair out for her just as Kylo had done. She sat and swept her gaze over the others, letting her eyes land on the table cloth.   
“I did not catch your name?” Governor Mota said.   
They were all looking at her.   
“R… Princess Rey.” She said. 

“Princess.”   
They viewed her with renewed respect. The woman was suspicious and way too curious. Slowly, Rey began to sneak into her head.  
“My dear princess.” Governor Mota said. “These are my good old friends and companions; Jekk Rodan, Torr Menek and Amilyn Holdo.” He nodded towards the woman as the last name was uttered. 

“Amilyn Holdo.” Rey repeated, nodding.  
Amilyn kept her polite face, but a slight frown kept over her brow.   
“Can I offer you something to drink, Princess?” The Governor asked.   
“Yes, please.”   
The governor started to tell her about several famous drinks served only in Cloud city. Now was the perfect time.

Entering Amilyn’s head was easy. The difficult part was following all the intriguing paths and thought links, stretching out at impressive lengths. But almost instantly, the image of a pale, black-haired boy appeared clearly, age shifting from toddler to teenager. It was Kylo. Amilyn knew him and she had recognized him the instant they came into the room. Slight fear, but mostly concern.

Then the image of Leia, the way she looked now, even though Amilyn had known her for a long time. There was something like a fresh anxiety around the thought of Leia.   
_How will I tell her when she arrives?_  
Rey withdrew hastily, heart beating faster. Could this be true? Was Leia on her way here? Trying to reach out through the force to find Leia seemed risky. But so far, her presence was not felt.

Instead, there was another presence making itself known.   
Kylo was walking straight to their table, his eyes fixed on the governor. Gaze intense, back straight and hands curled into fists.   
She turned to him as he reached the table. The governor was about to speak, but seemed to change his mind. Amilyn’s face had turned white.

Without taking his eyes from the governor, Kylo offered his hand to Rey. She took it, frowning. Kylo turned his gaze to Amilyn. For a fleeting moment, a strange silence vibrated between them. Then he simply turned and led Rey back to their table.   
Once they were both seated, she barely had time to part her lips before another well-dressed man appeared. 

“Are you ready to order, your highnesses?”  
“Yes.” Kylo said.  
The man started to describe a number of courses with a flow of unknown words and expressions, as if he was reading poetry in a foreign language. Kylo held his hand up after ten seconds.  
“We want the best you have tonight. And bring us drinks.”

Bowing deeply, the man hurried away and returned shortly with two curious looking blue drinks in high glasses, before disappearing again. Kylo took his and swept half of it immediately. He put the glass down with some force.  
“I could rip that dress in half and take you over the table right now.”   
“What?”  
“I said, that dress really suits you.”

Something was bothering him, but he kept it far off in the back of his head. It would not be reached without violently pursuing it.  
She took a careful sip.  
“What did they want?” She asked.  
“I was going to ask you the same question.”

She shrugged and put the drink down. He obviously had not scanned Amilyn’s thoughts. He had a right to know. Still, the words would not come out.   
“I guess they were curious.” She replied quietly. “About who we were. The woman… she recognized you.”  
He took her hand, stroking it with his thumb.

“Be careful with them.” He murmured. “They will use whatever information they can get for their own purposes only, no matter who gets run over.”  
“And your friend- Hux? What did he want?”  
“He is not my friend. And it was politics as usual.”  
She nodded, but he was no doubt hiding something.

“So” she said, “are you going to lose those pants anytime soon?”  
“What was that?”  
“I said, I love your outfit.”  
A slight blush across his face. Then the hungry gaze. 

The food came, placed on a rolling table. The containers themselves- bowls, plates and canticles- seemed to be taken from an art exhibition.  
It tasted strange and wonderful, getting an extra spice as Kylo began a conversation about the pilot game they had played earlier. She engaged in the teasing and serious comments about air battle, only pausing to experience the sensation as Kylo put a spoon to her mouth with another exotic delicacy. 

Then the meal was over, the lights dimmed and there were couples dancing slowly and intimately close in front of the small stage. Her head was light from the drink, her limbs warm.  
She was in the middle of challenging Kylo to a fight with staffs, when he rose and took her hands, pulling her towards the dancing couples. 

Suddenly, his arm was around her waist, pressing them closely together while he held her hand in a sturdy grip. His eyes never wavered from hers as they began to move to the music, slowly and tentative at first, then softening into it.   
Time stood still. There was only this; the exchange. A new and deeper level of recognition.   
It seemed mad that they had ever been apart. 

“I didn’t know you could dance.” She whispered.  
“I’m not that good.”  
“I have no idea how to do this.”  
“Neither have I.”

Her lips twisted into a smile.  
“You are going to lose.” She said.  
“Lose what?”  
“The fight. Tomorrow. With staffs.”  
“We’ll see about that.”

She was about to launch a witty reply, but something stole her attention. A small disturbance, the force signaling an arrival. She turned her head to the doors. The moment they opened, Kylo froze, sensing something as well.  
The new guests were dressed up for the occasion, but there was no mistaking their identity or their sense of loyalty to the mission. 

She was grateful for Kylo’s hard grip around her. The moment the newcomers saw them, her knees nearly gave way.  
It was Poe. And Finn.


	12. Abandoned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi fellow Reylos!  
> Another late chapter. Only a day left to The Last Jedi...we all need to get ready for a new wave of inspiration hitting us like a tsunami!  
> As usual, I hope you get a good experience. And concerning some of the subjects in my chapter, I cannot wait to find out how the canon will be.  
> May the Reylo be with you. Always.

Time had frozen into an impossible scenario.  
There she was, dancing with Kylo Ren in a resort for the elite, not giving the slightest thought to the context in which she truly belonged. And then this context came crashing through the door.  
Kylo’s grip around her waist hardened. 

The music was playing as if nobody’s world had come tumbling down.  
Just at the edge of the dance floor stood the two brave resistance fighters- her friends- Finn and Poe.  
Dangerous ideas came from Kylo, blood red thoughts with a surprisingly personal anger.  
“Stand still where you are.” She whispered. “Do nothing. Let me deal with this.”

“If you try to go with them” Kylo whispered in a hiss, “I’ll stop you. I’ll finish them and tie you up if I have to.”  
“Stop that.”  
“I mean it.”  
“So do I. We have a deal and I won’t leave your side. But you have to let me do this.”

Though her sight was dim from the drinking, she could see that Amilyn had risen from her seat and was watching them closely. A lot of people in the room had noticed something was off. Even so, the only indicator giving them away was her heightened senses through the force. Their faces were perfect masks of indifference.  
“Kylo.” She continued. “Let go of me.”

“Remember two things.” He replied, fixing his gaze to hers. “You are the most desirable thing in this room. Also, you are mine.”  
His voice was a little off, revealing the intake of one drink too many.  
“Kylo, let go.”  
He loosened the grip, but the moment she turned towards the newcomers, he moved in close behind and put both hands on her shoulders.

There was a surge of dizziness as she faced Finn. His face told her more than enough. Despite being in shock, he had put the pieces together.  
The knife had been twisted in the wound and the way it made his eyes change caused a convulsion inside her, a heavy sob that had to be swallowed down.

Poe frowned, but was not convinced about what he saw. She sensed all sorts of possible scenarios going through his mind. Maybe she was on a secret mission as an infiltrator.  
Or maybe Kylo had used the force to make her compliant.  
Kylo’s lips touched her ear.  
“You do not want this scene in here.”

Hesitating only a heartbeat, she started to walk, past her friends and out through the double doors. Kylo followed her like a shadow. Outside in the hallway, there was only time for two deep breaths before Poe came out.  
He walked up to her in his usual bold fashion, paying little attention to Kylo’s presence.  
“Are you alright?” Poe asked.

“That’s close enough.” Kylo said, standing like before, with hands on her shoulders.  
Poe huffed, meeting his eyes without fear.  
“Are you the one deciding those things for her now?”  
“He does not.” Rey replied. Her voice was shaking.  
There was sympathy as Poe’s gaze returned to her. 

“We heard that you were taken prisoner by the First Order. We’re here to negotiate your release.”  
“How…did you know I was here?”  
“We didn’t. We’re here to meet someone who was going to deliver a message to the slime ball behind your back.”

“Go home.” Kylo replied. “This is your one and only warning.”  
“I don’t care enough about you to pretend to be intimidated.”  
Kylo’s hand moved. She caught his wrist fast.  
“No!” She said. “No fighting!”  
“It’s easy to turn to the force, isn’t it?” Poe said. “Up in the air, you would not stand a chance against me.”

“If you meet me in the air,” Kylo replied, his voice deceptively calm, “you will go down the same way your mother did.”  
The cold fury filling Poe was immediate. He remained on the same spot, but his hands turned into fists and he bit his lower lip to remain in control. 

“And you’ll go down the way you murdered your father. If Rey doesn’t push the blade through your heart, I will! Yes, Leia saw you! Do you even dare to face your mother when she gets here and explain to her why you did it, you treacherous, deluded piece of shit?”

There was no stopping what happened next.  
Kylo had lifted Poe by the throat in the blink of an eye and shoved him harshly into the wall, leaving the pilot’s feet kicking in the air.  
“Don’t!” Rey shouted, grabbing Kylo’s arm and trying to block Poe from kicking Kylo at the same time.

Her concentration to use the force was broken as Finn stepped through the door. He drew his blaster immediately. Kylo sent it crashing into the wall with a simple wave of the hand.  
It was time to stop the madness before anyone got seriously hurt.  
Rey tapped into the force the way Kylo had taught her when they prepared to lift the ship.

A moment later, Kylo were on the opposite wall from Poe, nailed in place. His face was dead pale from the mention of Leia. The conversation after this would not be pretty.  
“Get a hold of yourselves!” She growled. “We do things my way or not at all.”  
They all stared at her in silence.

“Rey.” It was Finn who spoke. His eyes had turned from reproaching to pleading. Somehow he hoped for a more soothing explanation than the truth.  
She swallowed. “You shouldn’t have come here.”  
“Tell me the truth.” His voice was soft. “Did you come with him as a hostage?”  
“Yes.”

“But are you here against your will?”  
She closed her eyes and shook her head. When she looked up again, Poe struggled to comprehend her reply. Finn did not. To him, it was clear and cutting like a shard of glass.  
The only one content was Kylo.  
He broke free from the force shackles and she let him. Then he walked up to her and slid his arm around her waist.

“Finn.” She said. “I’m so sorry. I did not plan for this to happen.”  
“Wait.” Poe finally found his voice again. “Have you switched sides?”  
“No.”  
“But then what…”  
“She is with me now.” Kylo said. “That is all you need to know. And the hostage situation is not negotiable.”

Finn was still silent. The gaze he gave Kylo did not bode well.  
“Well, Poe continued, “everyone is doing their best to help you. We’ll get you out of this.”  
Rey looked at her feet and then up at Poe.  
“Forget about me.” She said.  
“We won’t.” 

“Poe, I need you to listen to me. I’m right where I should be.”  
Poe inhaled, ready to deliver another reassuring line. Then his eyes narrowed. He looked from Rey to Kylo and then to Finn. And back to Rey again.  
“Really?” he breathed. “Seriously? Have you lost your mind?!”  
She pinched her lips together and said nothing. 

“There are people ready to sacrifice everything to get you to safety!” Poe exclaimed. “And now you’re telling me that you… with that!” He pointed an accusing finger at Kylo.  
Never had the world been torn in two like this. One part wanted to scream at him and the other apologize and run straight to their arms. The strangest thing was the conflict in Kylo. There was malice of the darkest kind, but something else was breaking through.

“Rey made a choice to be a hostage in The Order in exchange for your lives.” He said. “She will never break that deal.”  
She turned and stared at him. Then she looked back at Poe. He put his hand to his brow. A sigh of relief mixed with deep concern.  
“For a moment I thought…” He started. “Stay strong, Rey. We’ll find a way. I promise.”

Finn did not look convinced. But a small spark of hope had started to shine in him. Perhaps this was all a forced intimacy, a blackmail of sorts. He could have read it all wrong…  
She lowered her gaze, unable to look at him.  
“See you soon.” Poe said, nodding at Rey.  
Then he put an arm around Finn’s shoulder, sweeping him along as he turned to the exit.

Without another word, they were out the door.  
The air was too heavy to breathe. She leaned against Kylo, more than ready for his possessive embrace when it came.  
“You…why did you say that?” She whispered.  
No reply. 

Kylo’s balance was shifting back and forth in a frightening way. Images of a younger Leia flared in his mind. The arms held her tighter.  
“I need air.” She said, voice trembling. “And you…is there anywhere…?”  
He pulled her along further down the corridor without hesitation, walking at a brisk pace past several doors. 

When they finally found a huge terrace with a beautiful garden, his imbalance had turned into turmoil. It enhanced her own anxiety and she had to use all remaining discipline to touch the stillness of the force, making heart and pulse slow down.  
They stopped underneath a tall tree with thin, long branches hanging over them like a frozen rain, thick with green leaves. 

She faced him and he took both her hands in his.  
“You let them believe I was really your prisoner.” She said. “You protected me so that I wouldn't have to deal with the conflict.”  
He shook his head, paler by the second.  
“No.”

Frowning, she placed a hand on his heart.  
“You did. I sensed the unselfishness in you. You…”  
“Don’t!”  
Not until now did she notice how much his hands trembled. His face kept shifting between crushing vulnerability and cold resolve.

“Leia.” She said. “I should have told you. I am so sorry…”  
“You knew?!” His eyes flashed.  
“I’ve only known for a few hours. I was going to tell you!”  
“You have no idea. No idea at all!”  
He turned away from her abruptly, grabbing the railing of the balcony with both hands. 

The struggle in him was horrific. The monster was clawing its way up and whatever was left of him fought it furiously.  
“Then why don’t you tell me?” She suggested, crossing her arms over the chest.  
His eyes turned slowly towards her, heavy and tortured.  
“If I see her,” he said, his voice barely audible, “I will have to fulfill my fate.”

“What does that mean?”  
“You know what it means.”  
An icy shock ran through every vein. The dark and ugly pit where the memories of Han Solo hid opened up. She staggered back, grabbing the railing as well.  
“You wouldn’t do that!”

“This is my path. You know who I am and what I will become. I cannot turn away now.”  
Even though he fought to keep his voice steady, the paleness shifted into green and blue. The nausea was so strong, it rolled from him to her and became impossible to shut out.  
“But you don’t want this! All the regrets, all the pain from Starkiller Base! Have you forgotten!?”

“Why do you think I have regrets?” He sneered. “Of course it is painful! All victory and progress come with a price. And this is all that stands between me and…” He broke the sentence off, turning to the night sky.  
If breathing was hard before, it was a real challenge now.  
“I won’t let you make another mistake.” She said. 

“You cannot stop this. It is fate.”  
“Like you and me?”  
His gaze shot right back at her.  
“Yes. Like you and me.” He said it with such gravity, that the silence afterwards stretched out into a number of heartbeats.

Her chest got heavier by the second.  
“You are lying to yourself!” She said. “If you do anything to hurt Leia, you and me will be over forever. You know that!”  
He made a move as if a flying dagger had just hit him. Then he straightened up and reached for her. She stepped away, shaking her head.

“No. I mean it, Kylo.”  
“It’s too late to turn back. You must have felt it by now.”  
She frowned.  
“Too late for what?”  
There was a whisper inside, a forgotten dream about to be remembered.

“When I was a child, I saw you.” The words were calm. He stood absolutely still as he spoke. Even so, a number of chills rushed down her spine.  
“Not only in dreams.” He continued. “Sometimes, you would turn up like a vision in full daylight, just out of reach. I knew you weren’t born yet, but I knew that when you were…”

“Don’t say it.”  
“…when you were, the void in me would be gone. I would be complete.”  
The garden was spinning. She squeezed the railing harder.  
He had been there too. In visions and dreams. She had known as well. About the missing part…in her. 

“What is this?” She whispered. “The connection, what is it?”  
“The force holds us chained together. Even before your awakening, I could sense your moods, your hardships. I knew you before you turned up in the forest that day. And I knew all that you would be.”  
The question was on the tip of her tongue. She shouldn’t ask, but there was no way to stop it.

“My parents…do you know who they were?”  
He frowned and huffed.  
“Why do you cling so hard to the memory of those who abandoned you? They left you on Jakku to die!”  
“They were going to come back! Something happened to them!”

“Do you really believe that anyone would leave their child on a planet like that if they wanted them safe?”  
The air vaporized from her lungs.  
It was too hot and then too cold. Her legs did not feel like supporting her anymore. She sank down to the grass, bracing herself.

All the suffering had been carried with the assurance that they must have loved her, wanted her. The thought of them leaving her on Jakku with no intention to come back was incomprehensible.  
Yet, it could be nothing but the absolute truth. 

His mood shifted instantly. He kneeled, closing her in an intense embrace.  
She could not embrace him back or do anything at all.  
His fingers ran through her hair repeatedly. Soothing whispers tickled against her ear.

“It is not uncommon, for children as special as you. We are born to greatness and some can’t handle that. The moment I knew about you, I knew you would be one of the most important players in the galaxy. But like me, you were abandoned by people who failed to recognize your significance.”

The last sentence broke her paralyzed state.  
“You…abandoned?”  
She made him loosen the grip enough to meet his eyes. Her vision was blurred from rising tears.  
“Kylo…your parents cared about you. Leia still does. She wants you to come home.”  
Even though it caused a strong ripple in him, he just brushed a tear from her cheek and shook his head.

“You don’t know what happened. My powers frightened them. The moment they knew I could not be controlled, they all left.”  
“They sent you to Luke to get help developing your powers. Leia told me…”  
He put a finger to her lips.  
“The people you refer to as my parents were more concerned about fighting in a terrorist organization. It was their choice. I have my own path to follow.”

She laid a hand on his cheek, keeping her gaze steady.  
“How long since you dared to connect with Leia?” She asked. “If you did, you would know how she feels about you.”  
He grabbed her wrist, tearing her hand away.

“Why would I try to connect with an enemy leader? You know as well as I do, that sensitive information could leak. I will never betray The Order!”  
“You already have.”  
“You.” He breathed. “Getting you was an investment for The Order, not a betrayal.”  
“Do you believe that I would join your cause? You know I wouldn’t.”

“When things change, when I rule…”  
Finally, her legs returned to life. She rose, still shaky, and looked down at him.  
“Did your master tell you all this? That your parents hated you, that you have a special fate that compels you to kill them? Did it ever occur to you, Kylo Ren, that your master might be lying and will throw you away the moment you are no longer of any use to him?”

He stood up, his dark eyes hovering close to hers.  
“It has. Did it ever occur to you, Rey from Jakku, that the Skywalker twins are using you to get back at me?”  
She shook her head, unable to contain the fury any longer.  
“You had everything! A family who loved you so much, they were ready to do anything to get you the proper help!” She pulled the earrings off harshly and threw them in front of his feet. “You might as well spit in my face when you say you were abandoned!”

He grabbed both her arms and pulled her down to the ground, forcing her with his weight until they were both kneeling again. When she kept struggling to rise, he grabbed her jaw hard to make their eyes meet.  
“I’ll show you!” He shouted. “Be still! If you really want the truth, then open your mind!”  
It took a lot to calm down enough to receive any images from him at all, but when it finally worked, his brow touched hers.

The ease with which he projected his memories into her was surprising. Even more startling was the clarity of those scenes.  
Luke’s Jedi School. A younger Kylo- no, _Ben_ \- training with the other students. Excelling them by far. Ben’s frustration. Luke insisting on patience.  
Someone is watching in the shadows. Ben senses it. At night, it offers comforting whispers.  
_One day you will be free to find the limit of your powers. Someone will understand._

Luke and Ben make journeys together, searching for the first Jedi temple. They find knowledge that would best have been left alone. Things about the force, older than the Jedi.  
The galaxy can only be harmonious in a balance of light and dark. Denying one side is throwing the force into chaos. One cannot exist without the other.

Heated discussions. Rows. Ben confronting Luke.  
_“I’ve always felt it! The darkness… I cannot contain it! And you are denying me the knowledge!”_  
Luke’s strict response, warning about Vader, about others before him.  
After that, Ben starts studying the darkness in secret, lead on by the mysterious presence.

He does not trust this presence. Not at first.  
But the increasing tensions between Ben and Luke drives him deeper into the studies of the dark side, of Darth Vader. Closer to the encouraging presence.  
Bitterness. His parents are never available for visiting. There is always a mission in the name of freedom and justice. Never a minute over to see him or even contact him.

Slowly and surely, the insight grows. They are avoiding him. He was sent to Luke because he could not control the magnitude of his powers. Luke must have told them that he is a disappointment. Too much like Vader, Luke has said.  
His secret helper gently feeds this thought, nourishes it until it becomes truth.  
More bitterness. Anger. Ben does everything to contain it. Luke will not get an excuse to report bad behavior to his parents.

He grows estranged to the other students. He is in another league, but there is something else too. They can sense the darkness in him, as much as Luke can. And the more the knowledge of the dark side grows, the more Luke turns into a hypocrite.  
There are whispers behind his back, confirming what he has feared the most. 

Leia, the princess and legendary rebel leader, won’t visit her son. His odd inclination towards the dark and his conflicted mind has made Luke dissuade her from visiting. They say he has become a danger to himself and his family.  
Ben overhears it. Finds privacy, crushed.  
The presence comforts him, reassures him that he has to make a choice.

 _Be all that you are or perish into oblivion. You are the strongest of them all._  
From then on, Ben will demand respect.  
So comes that day at school. The one that will twist everyone’s fate around.  
Ben walks into the library. There are whispers about him again. He strides over to the whisperers. Concentrates.

He will make the table lamp explode, just to startle them. Never has he been allowed to use the force this way. To make sure it will happen, he draws from the anger, like the dark side practitioners would have. He weighs all his anger into it, fueling it all he can. It has to happen or there will be further humiliation.  
He never knew there was so much anger.

The lamp explodes. So does every other lamp in the room, shooting deadly shards around. Sparks fly, igniting clothes and paper books. There are screams.  
Ben in shock. Then a student moving in on him from behind. In panic, a force push is made, hard enough to send this student into a shelf. Back breaking with a horrific sound, the student falls down. 

Some students have shards in their throats. Others fight to put the fire out from their clothes. The rest activate their lightsabers. So does Ben.  
Luke is on his way. Ben senses it. The panic grows, out of his body and into the fire.  
Explosions. The remaining flames become an inferno, turning students and furniture into bonfires.

Two students with lightsabers attack. They are reluctant to hurt him. Ben does not mean to cause damage to them either, but the gate to all locked up emotions are wide open. Channeling them, he fights, but only for defense.  
A huge and heavy bookshelf, lit up in flames, comes crashing down over them. The lightsaber combatants die instantly. Ben gets caught with most of his body underneath it.

The pressure empties him of air within seconds. Slowly, a rib breaks. Then another. He tries to lift the shelf with the force. Life is fading from him too fast. Then he senses Luke.  
His uncle are approaching him, finds him caught beneath the deadly weight. As red and black spots dances in front of his eyes, Ben can barely make out the face hovering above him.  
He tries to shape words.  
_I didn’t mean to._

No words leave his lips. No air. A hand touching his face.  
The fire is spreading fast. The smoke will choke them both if the shelf doesn’t finish him off first.  
_“I'm sorry, Ben. I am so sorry. I failed you.”_

Luke’s hand withdraws. His uncle steps backwards, into the smoke. Ben is left to die. And he does. Slowly and surely the room blurs and becomes white. It is just as well. He does not want to survive this.  
Waking up is painful. He is in a bacta tank for days. A shape looms just outside it.  
The presence. His true mentor and savior.

From now on this presence, shaped as a tall old humanoid creature with severe wounds to the face, becomes his only lifeline. Ben can never return to his old life. But this new mentor tells him the truth about his family, putting stronger poison into existing wounds until Ben trusts him completely. 

He gets a chance to rise from the ashes, to be someone who gets to fulfill all his ambitions and hopes. He is to be groomed to shoulder the leadership of a grand order, one who fights to restore the galaxy after the chaos the rebels caused.  
This new teacher knows all about the force. He does not judge or withhold anything.  
After showing his skills in a first battle, Ben has earned the privilege to his ceremonial death. 

Finally he is free from the past.  
As Ben is put to the grave, the warrior and force savant Kylo Ren rises, as master of his own order of knights, as a commander of The First Order.  
His heart blackened by vengefulness, he turns all his effort into crushing the latest uprising that his parents have started; The Resistance.

Rey could not move for a long time.  
When she did, it was to put her hands on his cheeks. His breathing was shallow and fast.  
“It was an accident?” She whispered. “And he left you…!”  
“It does not matter anymore. Ben is dead. And now you know.”  
The world was rocking, its fundaments crumbling.

Luke. Her scarred, but benevolent teacher. Leaving Kylo to die. And her parents… what other explanation was there, other than they had done the same to her?  
Cold iron shackles weighed her limbs down. She never wanted to move again.  
“I will never leave you.” He said, stroking her hair, bringing his mouth closer to hers. “You are my blood, the air in my lungs. Now that I’ve found you, I cannot let you go.”

Not until he wiped her cheeks did she notice how much tears had been shed.  
“Come with me.” He continued, placing light kisses on her cheeks and mouth. “Together, we will be unstoppable. And you can become what you were meant to be.”  
The turbulence was inside him as much as her. This reminder of the past had taken its toll.  
They both shared a common need.

Their lips met again. The kiss deepened.  
She pulled him closer and he covered her, pressing her back to the soft grass. The starry sky was clear and beautiful above them. She drank from the sight before turning all attention to his warm, desperate hands. The skirt went up and his large hand pushed in between her thighs, fingers pressing inside. Deep. Her legs spread on their own. Surrendering completely was so liberating.

The link between them was wide open, allowing them to carry each other’s burdens.  
When he entered her, something was different. There was not only passion, but a connection much deeper than anything they had shared before.  
The union was fierce. When they both found release, her nails had left deep marks on his back and her neck was pulsating with pain from his deep, possessive kiss.

His head was resting on her chest. She caressed the thick dark hair, dug her fingers into it, stroking the scalp.  
The storm was settling. Slowly, the white light filled her mind. A warm, beguiling darkness filled his.  
Light and darkness met, blended and became one. They were no longer Rey and Kylo, but something much bigger. 

There was no telling how long they stayed that way. At some point, he pulled his robe over them.  
The light did not linger.  
A furious tempest whirled all new revelations around, as harsh and stinging as the snowstorms on Hoth. Her parents… and now Luke. 

“I thought I loved you before.” She said. “I was wrong.”  
When his whole body stiffened, she continued in a hurry.  
“It was infatuation then, but now… now I know what it means to love someone.”  
“There has been no accidents since that night.” He murmured. “Everything I have done has been conscious choices.”  
“I know.”

“And?”  
“You will not hurt Leia.”  
“I told you…”  
“Listen carefully. I know all about Leia’s feelings for you, now and in the past, because I have felt them like a roar inside her. Her love for you is relentless and she is ready to give her life to know you are saved.”

He snorted.  
“Saved from what, exactly?”  
“Yourself.”  
An impatient sigh was the only response, but he was not unaffected.  
“Also,” she continued, “you said you would do anything for me if I took the oath with you.”

He lifted his head and stared at her, heart speeding up.  
She watched every change in his face carefully.  
“I don’t have a mother.” He breathed. “Ben is dead.”  
“That is up to you.”

“When you say hurt…”  
“I mean, spend the rest of your life without hurting her any further.”  
“This choice is not entirely up to me.”  
“Then who is making this choice for you?”  
He was silent for seconds.

“If I would do it, would you meet _my_ demands?”  
“What are they?”  
“Once you take the oath, you belong to me. I will be your first and last. There will never be anyone else.”  
She nodded.

“You will allow me to train you.” He went on. “Your authority will be equal to mine and once I take the throne, you will rule by my side. But you will not disrupt the affairs of The Order.”  
“And what if I did not join the order, but remained your hostage?”  
His face darkened.  
“I will not let you live as a prisoner! If you swore the oath, everyone would have to know your position!”

“I could never stand for what the First Order does.”  
“If you ruled with me, The Order would be what we made it into.” The dark voice was low, persuasive. “We would bring order to the galaxy the way we chose to.”  
She closed her eyes and put a hand on his heart. He wanted this, so, so badly. Not only her, but the burden of his mother’s life lifted off his shoulders.

A distorted, ancient face appeared in his mind. The one thing holding him back. The face became paler until it dissolved. Only her own eyes remained, staring back from the void.  
“I would never ask you to be anyone else than you are.” He said, cupping her cheeks. Eyes, pleading, desperate.  
“Meet my demand.” She whispered. “Then I will go with you. But I will not take part in the First Order.”

He let out a frustrated sigh. Then he rose briskly and pulled her up, holding her arms while his words flowed only an inch from her mouth.  
“There is someone on standby here in Cloud City.” He said. “She will witness and confirm the oath at any moment I say.”  
“What? You… _what?_ ”

“We should do it now.”  
Without waiting for an answer, he smoothed and buttoned her clothes before dressing. The earrings floated to his hand and he pinched them back on her.  
“Kylo…did you know what I was going to say?”  
“I knew what _I_ was going to say.”

His lips brushed hers with the outmost tenderness.  
“You are mine, princess. No need to delay this.”  
“Princess of the garbage wastelands.” She murmured.  
“Don’t do that. You know better.”

Their hands met; fingers intertwined.  
She drew a deep breath. A cold foreboding was creeping down the spine. The insight about her parents were eating away at the fundament of all that kept her sane. At this moment, he was the one keeping her upright.  
“Okay.” She breathed. “Let’s do this.”


	13. The Union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, beautiful Reylos!
> 
> I had an unexpected backlash from my long term disease. I'm cured, but exhaustion has followed in the aftermath, leaving nearly no strength to deal with social media or fan fics. It is getting better though and now when strength is returning I can no longer wait to write this story down. It has been banging in my head for far too long, demanding to get out. My promise to finish the story is still on, but I need to be careful with my promises about when I can post new chapters. So sorry for the long wait!  
> Thank you so much for all your support and understanding. You rock! <3  
> I hope you are all having a great summer and are getting some well deserved relaxation. For now, let's return to Cloud City and see what smutty adventures awaits there. ;-)
> 
> May the force be with you. Always.  
> Love, Kylo Zen

The registrar would have gone straight to the garden if they had wanted it. But Kylo had other plans. He seemed to have thought about this thoroughly.  
“There is a place here in Cloud City which an old order inhabits.” He said, as they entered the speeder. “There it will be done the way it was done a long time ago, when the first rulers swore their oaths.”

“The rulers of what?”  
She was getting nervous. He had assured her that everything would be explained by the registrar, that there was no need to know anything in advance. Even so, he was rash and impulsive enough to have missed a detail or two.  
“Ancient masters of the force.” He replied.

After a few seconds of silence, Rey spoke.  
“Sith Lords?”  
He threw her a quick glance.  
“Not really. It would depend on how you chose to define them.”  
“Kylo...”

“Neither Sith nor Jedi. I promise.”  
She nodded.  
The rest of the journey was silent. They had to leave the heights of the elite and travel down to the third layer of the city. The streets there were smaller and dirtier, but cozy in their own way, with warm glowing lanterns at every door and lively music leaking out from the cantinas. 

The final destination was a worn out house with two floors. It would have been easy to miss for most people, but Rey felt it immediately.  
“There are force users inside.” She whispered.  
“Yes.”  
They faced each other. Kylo swallowed and held his hand out. It was trembling. She took it. 

The receiving room was surprisingly small and simple. A hooded being stood by the foot of a stairway, dressed in a long robe. It held a small bowl with a flickering flame inside. Two more of these beings flanked the first one on each side. They were smaller than average humans and all wore similar robes. A pair of small beady eyes peered out from a heavily lined and crude face. The skin was thick and greenish. This was definitely not their natural environment.

“Welcome.” A gravelly voice said, carrying a strong accent. “I am the high priestess of this temple. Please come this way.”  
The being in the middle turned and started to walk up the stairs. Kylo motioned for Rey to walk first and he followed, up the squeaky steps to a small hallway.  
The other two priestesses joined them, one stretching her hand out to Rey.

She turned to Kylo. He nodded. Then he took her hand, squeezing it lightly. Their eyes met for a fleeting moment. Then she followed the priestess away from the others, into a room with a large, filled wooden tub in the middle.  
“Please remove your clothes and step into the bath.” The priestess said.  
When she hesitated, a benign smile brightened the creature’s face.

“Don’t be afraid, child.”  
Rey let the dress fall to the floor. On request, she also let her hair loose. Even the earrings were to be taken off.  
The water in the tub was deliciously warm and relaxing. She had expected to be left alone there, but the moment her feet landed in the tub, the priestess started to scrub her with a sponge.

It was weird at first, but after a while it became relaxing. Eyes closed, she tried to sense Kylo. Images of water; of pale, naked skin. She smiled. So he had agreed to be bathed.  
“Keep your mind directed inwards.” The priestess said. “Stay in the now. That is where your trial begins.”  
“Trial?”

“You are both strong with the force. The strongest I’ve felt for many years. The decision you make will affect the destinies of many.”  
And just like that, there were a thousand questions. Everything had seemed so easy. Someone would just declare them married and then they would be on their way… to what?  
“I’m not taking his side.” She replied, unsure of why it had to be said.

“Side? How can there be a side in a union?” The priestess chuckled and held out a towel. “When you were born, we knew there would be balance once more. This, though, we did not foresee. Very unusual.”  
Rey’s heart nearly stopped.  
“When I was born? My parents? Do you know…?”

“We knew of your birth, sweet girl, we did not witness it. What does it matter who set you into this world? We do not belong to our parents. We simply pass through them.”  
There was silence after that. Rey dried herself and looked around for the dress. It was gone. Instead, a white, simple dress with long sleeves and lacing on the front laid where it once was.  
The priestess motioned for her to put it on and she did. 

“Now,” the priestess said, “there will be the ceremony of truth.”  
They walked into another room. It was empty, save for a pillow on the floor in front of a curtain with many strange embroideries on it. Trees, ships and creatures that looked ancient.  
“Sit.” The priestess whispered. “Your spouse-to-be will sit on the opposite side of this curtain. You will both reveal your secrets now. When you are done, I will lead you to the ceremony.”

Rey positioned herself cross-legged on the pillow, staring into the curtain. The only light came from the window, casting a pale moonbeam that colored the dusk in silver. She closed her eyes. This place was thick with power. The force could be felt streaming through every grain of dust. Time and space was different in here.  
After a few minutes, she heard and sensed him come to the other side of the curtain. 

Once the door closed, the only sound was their quiet breathing.  
Their minds touched, acknowledging the other’s presence. Then hesitation.  
The truth. What was that? Something she had not said that concerned him?  
He started to speak in a low voice.

“When we had our first day at Hoth, I found more than one sleeping bag. There was around twenty of them. I made sure to hide them well and seal the room.”  
After the initial surprise, it was hard to hold a smile back. This was the part of him that was so much like his father. 

“When you kidnapped me, you know, that time on Takodana… when you brought me to Starkiller Base and strapped me to that- thing-, you took your helmet off and… I found your face… very… likeable.”  
Her cheeks burned furiously.

A current of heat came from the other side of the curtain. Then he cleared his throat.  
“Rey… I don’t know if there is anything I have that you want. But if there is, I’ll give it to you. Everything.”  
Something took shape in her throat, blocking the ability to speak; there was a slight pain in the chest. Then the eyes were stinging and blurring.

For a little while she just sat there. He said nothing more.  
Finally, she forced her voice to stabilize.  
“I- I am ready to do the ceremony now.” She said. “Is there anything else you want to know?”  
“We have a lifetime for that.”  
She nodded, though he could not see it. 

They sat like that for another minute or two, before the priestess entered the room with a huge basket on the arm. From what she could hear, the same happened on his side.  
“We’ll wait here a moment.” The priestess whispered.  
She heard him leave the room. The moment he was out, the priestess began to comb and fix Rey’s hair.

A glance at the basket revealed small white flowers, a wooden cup and a white cape in the same material as the dress. The flowers were placed in her hair like a girdle and the cape fastened on the shoulders of the dress. Then the priestess handed her the cup and took her hand.  
“It’s time.”  
She was led into yet another room. The high priestess stood in front of a thick white curtain, facing the room. A priestess was on her left side. Kylo was placed in front of them. He was stunning as usual, now clad in a crude, black tunic and pants with a cloak of the same material. A girdle of dark red, thin vines was entwined around his head.  
Their eyes met. He gasped quietly about the same time as she did. 

The only source of light came from something that appeared to be a fire on the other side of the curtain. Her priestess took place on the right side of their leader and Rey walked up to Kylo, noting that he had bare feet just like her.  
Her heart was pounding itself out of the chest. There was a frankness in his gaze that she had not dared to hope for, one that she had seen a shadow of in his bed only once.

This was more than Kylo, more even than Ben.  
Devoted with abandon and not as little nervous.  
“Kneel in front of your Mistress.” The high priestess said.  
Without hesitation, Kylo bent down on one knee, not breaking eye contact for a second.  
The way he looked at her, she might very well be his mistress. 

“Repeat the oath after me.”  
The high priestess uttered the words and Kylo repeated them, his voice even and calm though his eyes gave away the intensity of his emotions.

“I, Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, heir of the Skywalker blood, hereby pledge myself to you, Rey of Jakku, champion of the light. I will love, fight and rejoice by your side, always. As our fates are woven together, so are we, body and spirit until the end of time, when our flesh will no longer keep us apart. Your burdens and victories will be mine to share. I ask you to accept my offer and take my hand.”

He held out his hand.  
The room felt too hot. Dizzying. She placed a trembling hand in his.  
“I accept.” She said.  
To her surprise, a silvery ring appeared in his other hand. He put it on her finger with reverence. 

Tears threatened to well up, but as Kylo rose, she swallowed them down.  
“Kneel in front of your Master.”  
Lucky that she had not been made to kneel first. It could have ended up in a mess of questioning and rebellion. Now, she kneeled obediently and started to repeat the oath the high priestess said.

It was the same as Kylo’s, save for her title, “Rey of Jakku” and “Champion of the Light.” At the end of it, she held her hand out, gazing up at him and hoping she did not look too needy.  
He took her hand fast and held it hard, as if he feared she would withdraw it. She felt a ring being pressed into her left hand.  
She thread it on his finger, drawing a shaky breath.

The moment it was done, she knew they were past the line. There was no going back, now or ever. While she was still on her knees, the high priestess took a step forward and filled her cup from a withering wooden canticle.  
“Offer him a drink.” She said.

Rey held the cup out to Kylo, who took it with his free hand.  
After taking a deep sip, he held it out to her. She glanced at the priestess and received a nod.  
She emptied it. The taste was very strong, but nonetheless clear and fresh. It looked and smelled like water, but the taste…

As she rose, the high priestess approached them with a long, red string. They were told to hold hands. As they did, the red string was wound around their wrists, tying them together.  
“Where there is light, there must be darkness. Where there is night, there must be day.” The high priestess chanted. “The union shall now be sealed.”

The two priestesses withdrew the curtain. On the other side, there was a fireplace built into the wall. A low bed with white linen waited in front of it. Kylo’s lips shaped into a wry smile.  
They stepped past the curtain and the priestesses closed it behind them.  
“Now what?” Rey whispered.  
“You will figure it out.” He whispered back.

She listened intensely to make sure the priestesses were leaving the room. Instead it sounded like they sat down on the other side of the curtain. A moment later, two flutes started to play a soft, sleepy melody.  
“Are they…staying?”  
“Yes.”

Kylo led her to the bed and stroked her cheek with his free hand.  
“You could kill people with that outfit.” He said, leaning in for a kiss.  
“Wait! Kylo, they are right outside. They’ll hear everything!”

He cupped her cheeks, his face gentle, but serious.  
“This is the way it has always been done, for longer than the lifetime of a star. This is a sacred act, perhaps the most sacred of them all.”

Slowly, he lowered them to sit on the bed. The string between them did not leave a lot of free space. He loosened the string enough to give room for them to move their arms freely.  
“Look at you.” He whispered into her ear. “Dressed up like a virgin sacrifice to a very fortunate monster.”  
“You are not a…”

A finger pressed against her lips.  
Slowly, his arm came around her waist, pulling her closer. His hands stroked her cheeks, shoulders and neck. Their eyes were locked to each other. So much hunger and awe.  
Her fingers fumbled with the lacing. He finished loosening it and snuck a hand in beneath it, covering her breast.

It was still weird, having flute players in the same room.  
Then his warm, craving mouth came over hers and the flutes turned into a hazy, distant buzz.  
She leaned back and winced pleasantly when his weight came over her.  
Their exchange of caresses got bolder and ended with him lifting the skirt while stroking her thigh.

They untied his pants together and after that, none of them wasted time. Gasping and moaning as he filled her, she locked her legs on his back and left all doubt and guilt behind.  
This had been waiting to happen, as if it had been decided millions of years ago.  
Now there were only their bodies and souls moving together, merging without word or thought, the way it was meant to be.

He was a star in her arms once more, a red flaring thing blending with the white, piercing star that was her. At the same time, the pleasures of the flesh were overwhelmingly present.  
When they were close, he lifted her without pulling out. She rocked against him, meeting his thrusts until they united in an explosive and intense pinnacle, ending in dreamlike visions.  
His presence was felt inside every passing scene, sharing her experience as she shared his.

Stars were born and died. Galaxies expanded and shriveled into nothing. Everything was breathing; out for life, in for death. There were echoes of triumph and despair from people who had lived long ago, powerful rulers whose names had been long forgotten.  
Then those who had never been known, but yet been the architects who changed the cause of history.

It was him and her, but not as Kylo and Rey. But it was _their_ souls, their unique prints in the universal soul. So many shapes passing by, in so many worlds.  
War, peace; worlds dying and being created. Enemies, siblings, strangers, allies.  
And now, finally, wed.

Her cheeks were wet as time and space pulled them back into the small room. They held each other tightly. Neither mouths nor bodies wanted to separate.  
They fell back to the mattress once more with a fresh, unreserved thirst. As he let go, so did she. His hair pulled, her wrists caught, the clothes being thrown aside. Red string entangled with crushed, white flowers. 

The flames in the fireplace danced on the walls to the tune of the flute. And she danced with him, teasing and giving in, rolling over on her stomach and letting him have everything, from every angle. There was such tenderness in his games, devotion beyond understanding.  
Intimate pain as he invaded new territory. Soothing kisses and strokes mingled with the high of the surrender. 

Damp saltiness, heavy breathing. Unknown pleasure from the stinging; from being at his mercy this way.  
The things he did, his need to possess and control her pleasure, was enjoyed shamelessly.  
And then her turn, riding him to soothe the violent itch. And it was never quite enough. Just barely, coaxing her into having another go.

Then him, reclaiming her. Letting her know what giving in really meant.  
Tears, but only from joy, purer than any she had ever felt.  
Drained and sated, she fell asleep in his arms, pressing her cheek against his heart. His fingers played in her hair until they joined in dreams.

The room bathed in pale light when she woke up. The fire had gone out, leaving a fresh morning air that turned the damp sheets cold.  
Kylo held on to her tightly, snoring. She kissed him awake, touching and rousing him until he was over her, engaging in a drowsy, intimate union. 

Hands clasped, eyes being the only communication, they worked towards the pleasure without hurry. When the powerful waves crashed in, she fought to keep eye contact. When it was his turn, he did the same.  
Panting, skin against skin, they tuned into their surroundings.  
“The flutes have stopped.” Rey whispered.

“They have.”  
“What happens now?”  
“I have no idea.”  
With perfect timing, the door creaked opened. The hoarse voice came from behind the curtain.  
“There is a bath waiting for you.”

They took a sheet each and wrapped around them before stepping out. This time, they were led into the same room, where a slightly larger wooden tub waited. They both sat down in it and were quickly attended to with sponges and buckets of cold water.  
Rey could not help laughing. Her heart had never been this weightless.  
Kylo was watching her with a warm, frank smile. 

Their feet touched during the cleansing and once the towels came out and the priestesses stepped out, yet another pair of new clothes were left in the room.  
One heap black, the other colored like white sand.  
She turned to Kylo.  
“Is this your doing?”

“Try them on.”  
She held her hand out, showing the ring.  
“And this? It is a perfect fit.”  
He averted his gaze and began to pull the new clothes on.  
“They asked that we bring a new set of clothes for after the ceremony.” He said.

“Kylo, the rings.”  
His cheeks were gaining color.  
“I had them ordered, yes.”  
“When?”  
He glanced at her quickly.

“On board _The Vigilance.”_  
Rey’s mouth fell open.  
“Did you measure my finger in my sleep or something?”  
“I did.” After a moment’s silence he added “On Hoth.”  
_“What?”_

He turned and fixed his eyes on her, adjusting his new tunic and belt.  
“Why not? I knew it was you or nobody.”  
Before she could think of something to say, he stepped close and kissed her forehead.  
“Put your clothes on.” He said. “Or I might get tempted to tear mine off again.”  
After a moment’s hesitation, she did.

There had surely been a lot of intensity in his emotions from early on. On Hoth, she had barely gotten a moment’s peace. He had been the instigator. When had it changed? Not the first time she fell into his arms. The second?  
But there had been something inside her too, right from the start.

Pondering it, she dressed and marveled at how well made her new clothes were. It was a generously cut tank top with a tunic going to her knees, complete with pants in the same material and a strong leather belt to keep the tunic in place. The stripes of cloth that had been wound around her arms was replaced with a sleeve, reaching from her wrist to her upper arm. In all, it resembled her old outfit, only more elegant. And a lot cleaner.

Kylo had ended up with something similar to his old outfit as well, with improvements.  
Her earrings laid on a small piece of fabric, faintly glowing. She put them on and he nodded in approval.  
“Now, my beautiful bride.” he said. “Are you ready to face Cloud City once more… as my consort?”

Warmth spread from toe to head. She nodded, taking his hand.  
As they went downstairs, Kylo radiated more pride and confidence than she had ever seen. He paid the priestesses and then, with their blessings, they were out the door, heading towards the speeder.  
“Where to next?” She asked.

He held the speeder door open to her.  
“It’s our day now. And tomorrow. And then the rest of our days. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to head back to our rooms and continue waking up with you.”  
“Deal!”  
She took the driver’s seat, beaming at him as the quiet engine started running.

And then?  
The morning passed like an impossible dream. They were served a perfect breakfast at the terrace of their luxury suite. The wedding was still too special to mention. It hovered between them in all its solemnity as they held hands over the table, sipping warm beverages.  
He told her more about the city. She had so many questions. 

Occasionally, it led to discussions about the history of the galaxy. Politics, war and the role force users had played in different societies.  
Rey devoured every little piece of information, becoming increasingly aware of her lack of education. He promised to introduce helpful books to her.  
“I’d be happy to read them to you.” He offered. “You can have any book in the galaxy.”

What did she have to give him in return?  
Every now and then she had pangs of fear, that she would wake up on Jakku, alone and starving.  
All this- The Resistance, Luke and Kylo- would have been a cruel dream of what she could never have.  
He held her hand harder.

“You’re awake.” He said. “In all senses of the word.”  
She nodded, but stifled a yawn. Last night had not offered a lot of sleep.  
He rose and walked close until he stood over her, holding her cheeks in his hands.  
“I made you a promise on Hoth. Do you remember it?” He asked. 

“I know how to take care of myself. You don’t have to…”  
“I said, that if you would agree to be my consort, I would always be by your side. You would never be hungry or cold again. I meant it. I still do. All that is mine is yours.”  
She rose and straightened her back, but he was still a head taller.  
“Your armies too?”

He did not seem provoked as expected. His thumb ran tenderly over her cheek.  
“Would you like that? Command armies? You’d be perfect for it.”  
“I told you I want nothing to do with The First Order.”  
“But you will follow me back to the base when the time comes, like you said?”  
She swallowed. Then nodded.

His arms closed around her. The embrace was warm and firm; a reminder of how strong he was. Her head fell against his chest. So this was how one got lost to the dark. Not by anger and despair, but by hopeless devotion.  
Her clothes were removed slowly. The large hands moved with perfect tenderness over her body, knowing the territory well. Then she was on her back against the soft bed, covered by a dark mass of heat and kisses.  
How could anyone refuse this? The wound was open, the numbing fear of abandonment. Bit by bit, it closed. The blood dried up, new skin grew over it. It happened in him too.

As their tongues entangled, so did their arms and legs. Clothes still on, he merely unbuttoned his pants. She buried her fingers in the dark hair, the way she had done their very first time. He drove in deep. Every thrust was heavy and invasive. The moment they began she gave in, barely noticing the sounds coming from her throat. 

No matter what things Luke had kept hidden, or if her parents had left her on purpose, she had _him_. Even if there was no way to fully lit up the dark and winding paths of his mind, the raw emotions gushing forth were more real than anything she had sensed from another person. It was absolute truth- what he had said at the ceremony- and in that, at least, there was comfort.

“Yes.” He whispered into her ear. “You are mine now.”  
She clung to him harder, quietly sobbing from the relief, wincing and gasping from the force in his thrusts. Then he turned her around and she willingly got on her hands and knees for it. A favorite position. He reached things deep inside that made her stomach flip and twist like a wild ride with the Falcon. 

He dug his fingers into her hip and she clenched a fist around the sheets, giving a startled cry as he pushed back in. He leaned forward until she could no longer hold his weight. Then, when her stomach hit the bed, he was on top, holding her wrists while her mind spun out of control.  
“Don’t stop!” She begged. “Don’t- oh!”

He was pushing against that sweet spot on the inside, the one that manifested as a small knot between her nether lips. Blood seething and skin wet, she was devoured by the climax, whirling down and drowning.  
His tender kisses fell on her neck and shoulders. The swollen, hard thing inside was pulsating against the tight walls, revealing how close he was.

But he pulled out and turned her around, leading her hands up to hold the headboard. The passionate kiss that came next was distracting enough to miss how a leather strap ended up in his hands suddenly.  
Slowly and gently, he wrapped it around her wrists, placing reassuring kisses on her brow and cheek. 

Still dazed by the orgasm, she let it happen. Fresh yearning pumped into her veins as the wrists were fastened to the headboard. This game was definitely the best one.  
Fingertips ran along her arms. All nerves were singing under his touch, making the skin prickle and the cheeks burn. 

“Ben…” She whispered, knees parting for him as he covered her again, black robes flowing around them and firm hands cupping her cheeks.  
“Where we are going, you can never speak that name.”  
A kiss. Then his ragged breath on her lips.

Once more, he invaded her. Their eyes were locked. It was dizzying, seeing her own eyes reflected in his mind; wide and needy, as needy as his.  
It did not take long. His fiery thrusts ended in an explosive pinnacle, spilling over to her.  
Writhing from the sensation, she moaned his name like a prayer, thighs clenching against his hips.

Salty drops fell from his brow, landing on her skin. Then he slumped down over her.  
Heavy breathing was all they could manage for a while. It got a lot better when he undressed and resumed his position, not raising a finger to untie the leather strap.  
Skin against skin. Open. Naked.  
“Closer.” She whispered.

He understood.  
Mouth buried in her neck, he embraced her tightly and opened his mind to her.  
“More.” She breathed, offering her mind and soul to him.  
Their minds united the moment their bodies did. This time, something else followed.  
Closely entwined, they melted together. His soul in hers. 

They both gasped as one.  
This was intimacy as she had never felt it. The absolute opposite of being alone.  
Not only were they linked. All that they were was combined into one super being.  
Wild enthusiasm as they discovered that their individual knowledge and strength within the force could be merged and launched. 

Rey heard herself laugh.  
Never had she been lighter or more at peace.  
To him it was a catharsis; a pure fire scorching the wounds to stop them from bleeding.  
Slowly, her wrists were untied.

Entangled and ensnared, they were driven to exhaustion and back into yearning.  
A beautiful thing, to be more than oneself. Time drifted in and out of the room, freezing in moments that could not be put in words. Her stomach growling was the only evidence of hours going by.  
“Food…” She murmured. “But I don’t want to leave bed…or you.”

She tucked her head in under his chin. His fingers played on her neck, causing those heavy tremors through the spine. Then he took her chin gently and looked at her.  
There was nothing to see of the monster stumbling through the dark path, causing all inner balance to disrupt.  
This was Ben. A bit of light, a bit of dark. Mischievous, brooding, playful and very, very devoted.

“I can fix this.” He said. Rolling over quickly, he pressed a discreet button on the wall next to the bed. “Dinner with everything!”  
Then he rolled back, embracing her. His hair was a beautiful mess. It was lovely, entangling her fingers in it.  
“Were you playing just now?” She asked.

“We’ll see.”  
“Will there actually be food, just appearing?”  
He looked at her.  
“I’ll get you your own button. Back at the base. I’ll let you order whatever you want. Food, ships, worlds… anything.”

“You are insane, Ben Solo.”  
But his words did cause a chill in the bones. His base. It was too real to be dealt with at this moment.  
Food was swiftly delivered on shiny trays. A crew of five droids entered, put a table next to the bed and arranged the food on it flawlessly. It was nothing short of a feast.

They fed each other. Ben taught her the names of dishes and vegetables she had never before seen. Then they explored fruits and berries unknown even to him. He made a thing out of putting one berry between her lips at a time, making sure she ate it before giving her the next one. It ended up in a brawl, ending up in a fiery embrace, ending up in a sore, delicious climax. 

Through half-closed lids, she saw small stars dancing in a veil of gold dust. It was near them, maybe even under the skin.  
“What is this thing with the force?” She murmured. “Why does it look like that?”  
“The force?” he replied, half asleep. “It just is. Energy. Everywhere.”  
“Yes, but what _is_ it?”

The question sparked a discussion that had both of them sitting up, facing each other with legs crossed and twisting and turning the subject at every angle they could find. In the background, the sun set and a beautiful sea of stars took the scene. She pulled him out to the terrace. He brought the cover and wrapped it around them as they sat on the artificial lawn, continuing the conversation. 

The subject ebbed out, slowly taken over by drowsiness. The stars were fading. Pink and gold began to color the sky. Sleep weighed them down on the soft grass. She snuggled close and yawned, his lips tingling on her forehead.  
Best day. And night. Ever. 

Morning came with a soft chill. Rosy clouds still hung against a pale blue sky.  
But something else had woken her up. She tried to repress it, to hold reality back for just a few seconds longer. It was no use. She knew, as surely as he did the moment he opened his eyes. The clench in his stomach; the weight returning to his thoughts; it was felt in her too. 

They both rose and searched the sky for affirmation. Ships were leaving and approaching the main docking area. Then her eyes got stuck on one specific ship, a small shuttle hovering near the docking bay.  
“Leia.” She whispered.

His eyes had become cold stones. Though his blood was seething with all emotional turmoil, he stood frozen in place, crushing her hand in his. Kylo was back, resuming his commanding stance and reluctant sense of duty.  
“Something is going on.” He said. “Something big.”

Rey looked at him, frowning.  
“She knows her importance.” He continued. “There is no way the leader of The Resistance would risk being seen in the open here, with the elite, knowing what a hard blow the rebels would take if something happened to her. Unless…”

“Unless what?”  
There was a glimpse of something, shards of memories speeding by.  
“Your people contacted you earlier.” She said. “Why?”  
The prolonged silence made all the alarms in her head go off.  
When he finally turned to her, it was with as much tenderness as anguish.

“She might be here for you.” He said. “Or… she have heard the news and is gathering allies to strike back.”  
“Strike back? For what?”  
She tried to withdraw her hand from his, but he would not let go.

“We swore to leave politics out of this.” He replied. “But if you really want to know, I’ll tell you. There is an attack planned on the Resistance.”  
“What!?” This time she managed to twist her hand free. “When?”  
His dark, restless eyes bore into hers, challenging and watchful.  
“About four hours ago.”


End file.
